Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Proffitt.

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Report declares mass killer Anders Behring Breivik insane

No shit; because sane people do this all the time!

written by Proffitt, 30 November 2011

Clegg - UK taxpayer to fund out of work youngsters

I have no problem with this idea from our great coalition government. The 'young' can pop round to my house Tuesday next as I have a shed that needs re-felting?

written by Proffitt, 25 November 2011

Milie Cyrus gets her fifth tattoo

The letter 'E' has been tattooed on her arm after spending a considerable amount of time learning the first four letters of the alphabet.

written by Proffitt, 04 February 2011

Sally Bercow tells BBC she is embarrassed about bed sheet picture

However she said the dildo up the arse pic is in the best possible taste.

written by Proffitt, 04 February 2011

Travellers, you gota love em...

...they know how to do sophistication. Gok, eat your heart out.

written by Proffitt, 25 January 2011

My Toyota......

Now has an engine problem!

written by Proffitt, 01 July 2010

All UK pubs to close on Sunday night.

Most will reopen on Monday afternoon.

written by Proffitt, 18 March 2010

Another British child kidnapped in India.......

and another and another and another.........

written by Proffitt, 16 March 2010

British Airways flights largely unaffected by strike action

BA officials say only those flights involving planes will be affected by the strike and so people should turn up at airports and spend money in the very expensive cafes.

written by Proffitt, 15 March 2010

Scientist puts Humpty back together

Thanks to new stem cell research a scientist put Humpy Dumpty back together yesterday. Mr Dumpty said "I've waited a long time for this."

written by Proffitt, 14 March 2010

Scientists prove chalk is similar to cheese.

Many conversations will now become meaningless.

written by Proffitt, 11 March 2010

Arrests at Aunty Beeb

BBC head of light entertainment arrested by Trades Description officials, for claiming Bellamy's People is a comedy. He will be hanged on Monday!

written by Proffitt, 11 March 2010

Brown planning a 'do or die,' approach to win the General Election.

If the polls show a 15 point deficit for Labour he will invade Argentina. 'He is quoted as saying 'Who do they think they are? And I'll have Brazil if da Silva doesn't shut it.'

written by Proffitt, 11 March 2010

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