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Murdoch foam pie man
I thought he was kind of wrinkly on TV so thought I would help him out with some moisturiser.
The Old Firm
Glasgow Rangers and Glasgow Celtic - the two cheeks on the arse of Scottish football.
Gerrdafi - crazy monkey
Our friends in Benghazi, Libya prefer to use Gerrdafi, crazy monkey as they now call him.
Irish road sign
As you enter Dublin, a new sign has appeared;
Dublin twinned with Athens
Safe pair of hands?
Robert Green, England goalie and Michael Jackson have something in common. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.
Share my life, take me for what I am
'cause I've changed all my colours for you
We are addressing the Democratic Deficit
Cameroons whooping up Whitehall. Those damn Scots will pay for this outrage.
What you will see in tomorrow's headlines 3
What you will see in tomorrow's headlines 2
Nick Robinson says unelected PM fifteen times in ten minutes. His BBC political buddy, Laura Kalishnikov tries to trump him but only gets twelve "unelecteds" in twenty minutes.
What you will see in tomorrow's headlines 1
Tories apoplectic with undisguised anger.
What you won't see in tomorrow's headlines 3
Adam Boulton trashed by Alistair Campbell. Sky News runs out of man sized hankies to cry into.
What you won't see in tomorrow's headlines 2
Fraser Nelson, Spectator chief spectates as his eyes pop out of his head. Brown resigns and Labour talks to Lib Dems - I wasn't expecting that says Fraser, I hope the Cameroons are not as sick as me.
What you won't see in tomorrow s headlines 1
Cameron shits himself as Brown resigns and Labour talk to Lib Dems
Susan Boyle fans in multiple vote fiasco
Susan Boyle fans have been busy, phones on redial as they manipulate an online poll. Whatever happened to integrity or honesty? Obsession has taken over once again.
Tranquillisers for subo
I may be sedated, Susan tells fans, but I've got more money than you meeeeeeewhaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Cameron is going to a wedding
Anything for a photo opportunity eh Dave?
Nick Clegg takes a day off
There is no such thing as a part time Prime Minister, Nick, sorry!
Ryanair introduce a new tax
Cash for ash £5 fee for ashking online
Just get real
UK Parliament TV debates. No questions from Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland? All debates held in England. No wonder old England is dying. Where is the democracy?
Brown, Cameron and Clegg on Getting Real
Lord Pearson of Rannoch, failed Tory and now UKIP, Scottish estate and £3.5m London home. Flipping the mortgage netted him over £270,000 tax free. Get Real leaders. When will he repay this money?
Nick Clegg on Getting Real
The LibDems will make immigrants move into specific towns and cities in the UK. Get Real Nick
Gordon Brown on Getting Real
A UK Prime Minister tells an 84 year old audience member what he would do with her pension in 2016. Gordon Get Real
Happy Birthday to Susan Boyle
After an up and down year, here we are April 1st. It's Miss Boyle's birthday as well. She is in Japan for a massive concert tonight.
Congratulations and well done Susan, we are so proud of you.
Samcam pregnant but call it the gynae ward
From Conservative Central Office. Priority message to all candidates at the forthcoming General Election. Push the samcam pregnancy at all times but never say Labour Suite.
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