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Kerry calls global warming skeptics "Flat Earthers"
Sec of State calls man made global warming doubters "Flat Earthers". Claims 97% of scientist can't be wrong on man made warming, ignoring the fact 100% of scientist once thought the earth was flat.
DOJ charges X-soldier with using MWD's against Assad for using the same weapons the US military uses
DOJ to charge an ex-soldier who fought against Assad w/ using WMD's. He used a handheld rocket (RPG) against the Assad regime. Funny, the US still uses handheld rockets (AT4's) in Iraq and Afghanistan
Cook County Imposes a "Gun" tax and other"Rights Taxes"
Cook County's $25 gun tax, to curb taxpayer expenses, kicks in Monday, along with a $50 speech tax, $50 4th Amendment privacy tax, a $50 5th Amendment/Miranda rights tax also to curb taxpayer expenses
Teleprompters Out, Polygraphs In.
Congress announced a bill passed replacing Presidential teleprompters with polygraph machines. The Whitehouse subsequently announced it has cancelled all press conferences for the rest of Obamas term
Four Americans Executed By Pirates, Obama Vows To Fight Piracy
After the deaths of 4 Americans, Obama vows to fight piracy with tougher copyright enforcement. Questions about what this has to do with the killings by Somali Pirates were answered with blank stares.
Artist Builds Rainbow-Making Machine
An artist and assistant professor at Virginia Commonwealth University, has created a machine to create rainbows. Why is this in the news? Most kids do this with a garden hose during the summmer.
Obama Takes Orders From King Of Saudi Arabia
B Hussien Obama, who bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia now takes orders from the King. In a phone call the King told Obama not to humiliate Mubarak or pressure him to leave office. Obama did as told.
Napolitano: Terror Threat Even in Common Everyday Items.
Announces that rather than stop terrorists, DHS will require background checks & registration of common items that could be used as weapons such as pencils, scissors, wooden kitchen spoons and lint.
Portland bomber a innocent guy who "wasn't that radical"; Oregonians wouldn't have been that dead.
Friends of Portland bomber Mohamed Osman Mohamud defend him by telling police "He wasn't that radical" as opposed to "not radical at all." WTF? Exactly how much radical is to radical?
New Invasive Airport Security Works
TSA declares itself victorious. A week after pat downs that violate Terry Vs Ohio, 100% of US airlines have gone out of business as people quit flying, TSA says "See, terrorists can't fly now either."
Administration says: There is no inflation.
Feds claim there is no inflation after monetizing US debt. The new way of calculating inflation no longer considers food or energy into the equation, that way they're not lying and we're still broke.
Obama administration meets Iraq troop removal deadline.
The administration declared all combat troops have been removed from Iraq via language control. Combat terms such as "Striker Brigade" and "25th ID" have been replaced with advise and assist brigade.
Congress and the Feds target Roger Clemmons in steroid probe.
Thank God the USAs economic, border, national security, unemployment, crime, tax & infrastructure issues are solved. Now Congress can focus on something more important like prosecuting Roger Clemmons.
Republican National Committee Announces Strategy For November Mid-Term Elections Part 2.
RNC Chairman Michael Steele unveiled part two of the RNCs election strategy: Fire Nancy Pelosi, retire Harry Reid. Good Idea, but what's the plan moron? I.e. How do you get to this desired outcome?
Congress wants to regulate chewing tobacco out of Major League Baseball.
Thank God the USA's economic, border, national security, unemployment, crime, tax and infrastructure issues are solved. Now Congress can focus on something more important like MLB players tobacco use!
Republican National Committee Announces Strategy For November Mid-Term Elections
The RNC will impliment the same strategy that failed them time and again during elections: Presenting themselves as "Democrat Lite", ignoring the base and adding mocking the tea parties. Idiots!
Court Overturns Offshore Drilling Ban For A Second Time
Courts again tell the government they overstepped their authority by shutting down drilling and killing oil jobs. Government gets pissy: "Obama was elected king and can do whatever he wants."
Judge Sends Lohan To Jail.
Lindsay's PR firm releases following statement: Mrs Lohan is looking forward to serving her sentence, and hopes to enjoy all the lesbian sex she will be having when attacked in the showers.
Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele Proves His Stupidity
Steele criticizes Obama by stating the war in Afghanistan is "a war of Obama's choosing." Conveniently forgetting the US was attacked on Sept 11 2001 and that we've been at war since then. Idiot.
KKK Membership OK Says Bill Clinton
Clinton says it's OK for the late Sen Bryd (D) to have joined the KKK because "He was trying to get elected." KKK expects membership to swell with democrats expecting to be elected to national office.
Obamas "White Tax" In Full Effect
The 10% national tax on tanning bed use targets pale white folk, and is expected to fund the health care bill. No word how it will be funded when white people figure out they can suntan for free.
Supreme Court Rules A Right Applies To All Citizens
SCOTUS ruled the Second Amendment applies to all citizens just like the every other Amendment in the US Constitution. People who have never read the constitution are surprised.
Fat Rapist Says Confession Coerced With Potato Chips
No Joke, I can't make this up. Bruce Tuck, the confessed serial rapist says his confession was coerced with food. Really? How low do you have to fall for you to confess because of potato crisps?
Durbin Asks Obama to Appoint Carp Czar
US Senator Durbin today urged Obama to appoint a Carp Czar to oversee efforts to keep out invasive species. Also wants a Fish-stick Czar, Tuna Czar and a Fillet of Fish Czar to keep them out of meals.
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