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Pumpkins 'stuffed full with cocaine' seized at Canadian airport

Police became suspicious when Pumpkins tried to go through customs

written by ExiledRoyal, 02 November 2013
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Chair of the Blind Society accused of needlessly wasting money

He arranges a fireworks display to display his commitment to the cause

written by ExiledRoyal, 01 May 2013
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Risqué storyline to boost Coronation Street ratings

It's going to involve Kevin Webster and Ken Barlow running an under sixteen disco in the Rovers.

written by ExiledRoyal, 01 May 2013
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Help wanted

What does 'self-explanatory' mean?

written by ExiledRoyal, 01 May 2013
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Finger painting has become more popular than ever in nurseries and schools in Liverpool.

It's been enforced by local police, as they want to get fingerprints on record from a early age.

written by ExiledRoyal, 01 May 2013
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Definitions: FIERCE

a) Having or displaying an intense or ferocious aggressiveness. Showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity.

b) The front of a Geordie's head.

written by ExiledRoyal, 22 April 2013
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Man arrested at Gatwick with a kilo of pastry in his footwear

Police say he had all the ingredients for a viable Choux Bomb

written by ExiledRoyal, 19 April 2013
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Thatcher's funeral only cost a million pounds

The rest was Tony Blair's appearance fee

written by ExiledRoyal, 17 April 2013
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The Doctor delivered me 55 years ago today

I can't believe I've survived so long without a liver.

written by ExiledRoyal, 17 April 2013
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Thatcher Grave Memorial revealed

The dancefloor needs to be larger, says Kinnock

written by ExiledRoyal, 09 April 2013
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What's the difference between 'affection' and 'adore'?

I can't slam my wife's head in affection ...

written by ExiledRoyal, 09 April 2013
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Wayne Rooney goes to Dubai for his birthday

I saved up for that all day, he says

written by ExiledRoyal, 10 December 2012
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Wayne Rooney's new video game out now

Pre-Evolution Soccer

written by ExiledRoyal, 10 December 2012
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Pope to hold Mass on top of the flat topped mount Pic de Bugarach, France on 21st December

"Better safe than sorry," His Holiness tells us

written by ExiledRoyal, 09 December 2012
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Best X Factor result so far

It's finally fucking finished

written by ExiledRoyal, 09 December 2012
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Whitney Houston died hours after being asked to judge X Factor



Cheryl Cole: "Personally I think she made the right decision."

written by ExiledRoyal, 09 December 2012
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Woman thrown off X-Factor for being mentally unstable

Akin to throwing a contestant off University Challenge for being a virgin

written by ExiledRoyal, 09 December 2012
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X Factor Final disaster

Microphones found to be working

written by ExiledRoyal, 09 December 2012
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Egg and Chicken ordered through Royal Mail

We'll never know

written by ExiledRoyal, 09 December 2012
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'50 Shades of Grey' now available in Braille

Free lessons for blind women on how to read with only their left hand

written by ExiledRoyal, 09 December 2012
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RIP Patrick Moore

Always an eye on the stars, and one on the camera

written by ExiledRoyal, 09 December 2012
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Google 'Who avoids tax?'

It's Google!

written by ExiledRoyal, 09 December 2012
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AK47

A pretty shit poker hand

written by ExiledRoyal, 07 December 2012
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Starbucks have pledged a minimum of £20 million pounds in Corporation tax over the next two years

Which computes at 75 cups of Expresso

written by ExiledRoyal, 07 December 2012
Showing page 1 (of 8 pages)


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