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How to be Politically Correct 9
Do not say "Yankee."
Say "American of Northern Decent/American."
How to be Politically Correct 8
Do not say "Dentist."
Say "Orally occupied medical practitioner."
How to be Politically Correct 7
Do not say "Zoo."
SAy "Safely Enclosed Artificial Animal Habitat."
How to be Politically Correct 6
Do not say "Dog."
Say "Canine American."
How to be Politically Correct 4
Do not cay "cat."
Say "Feline American."
Left-handedness or ambidexterity a plus. Some experience required be it training or performing. Very long arms a big plus.
How To Be Politically Correct 3
Do not say "Spaceman."
Say "Explorer of the Void Between Planets."
Robin Williams helps out
To make two hundred wigs for children with cancer, Robin Williams is planning to shave his arms.
How to be Politically Correct
Don't say "Redneck."
How to be politically correct
Don't say "Enemy Combatant."
Say "Less Than Friendly Individual."
Policital Correctness at it again
In New York City, the access ways to the sewers in the streets will now be called "People-holes" and be covered with "person-hole covers"
Wanted: Plumber's Assistant
No experience needed. Must be willing to learn. Ass-crack revealing pants provided.
Political Correctness at it's worst.
A man with ancestors from many different places insists on being called an European/Asian/African/South American/North American/Australian-American.
Huge Storm Predicted
Responding to foul weather alerts people cleared stores of bread. In an unrelated story, the local bakery recently bought the National Weather Service.
Must have big goofy head with oversize features. Fur a plus. Garish colours very good. Giant feet very good, dancing ability a plus. If you have a costume with the above features, that's good too.
New Warning Label 4
On a bag of cement "Not for use as a floatation device. Shoes made from this will sink."
Animal Rights Terrorist Trampled
Chester Twitfield was trampled to death by a hippopotamus he freed from a local zoo before it was put to death. Twitfield's last words were, "Is this ironic or what?"
Political Correctness goes awry
The American Military will no longer issue dog tags to members. American Service men and women will now be issued Canine-American tags.
New Warning Label 3
On a cell phone..."For EXTERNAL USE ONLY"
Pet Vs Computer
Today a large very hungry tabby cat ate every single computer mouse in a local Radio Shed store.
Wanted: Speech writer for George W. Bush
Must be eloquent. Must not make Bush look bad. Must write suave and witty jokes. Must spell any word with more than three letters fo-net-ick-lee. Ability to absorb critic's abuse a plus.
Ronald McDonald Fired
Ronald McDonald was fired today from the McDonald's corporation after he publicly stated he is a vegan and meat is murder.
Wanted Assistant Editor for The Spoof
Must be able to read fast and sort funny stories out from crap.
Wanted: Computer Salesman
You know you need to know everything about computers, but the other biggie is the ability to make anything sound really technical and confusing to anyone who doesn't work here.
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