Showing breaking news satire snippets written by rvler9201.

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Strangers stand in solidarity by way of Facebook likes

GARY, IN--Jerome Blackburn found the strength to continue debating in a religious discussion forum when a total stranger 'liked' two of his posts.

written by rvler9201, 09 December 2013

Seat belt savior

WORCESTER, MA--Dr. Amit Sharma always preached that seatbelts save lives, but was still surprised to see a would-be mugger get shot dead by one.

written by rvler9201, 06 September 2013

Correct word fourth on spellcheck list

STOUGHTON, MA--David Thacker didn't realize how badly he had misspelled 'Vicariously' until he saw the correct version a distant fourth option on the spellcheck suggestion list.

written by rvler9201, 17 August 2013


CONWAY, NH--Sam Hedgewick explained to emergency room attendants that if he had specified which arm should have been tied behind his back, he totally would have won that fight.

written by rvler9201, 11 August 2013

Teenager passes sexual milestone

SARASOTA, FL--Jake Cavlet, 17, broke his personal record of six encouraging car honks during a makeout session before Jen Dittenhall, 16, insisted they leave the Costco parking lot.

written by rvler9201, 12 July 2013

Iron Manifold

SAN DIEGO, CA--Five years after hearing it for the first time, Danny Orsi still has no idea that the
Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" wasn't written for the film series.

written by rvler9201, 22 May 2013

Racism overcome

BEREA, OH--Closeted white supremacist Erica Barr had a polite conversation with her black neighbor Dylan Jackson, even if she was violently gripping the pepper spray in her purse the whole time.

written by rvler9201, 13 April 2013

Confusion over Chavez Doodle

JEFFERSON CITY, MO--Emily Corem isn't sure why it's politically correct to portray Jesus as a middle-aged Hispanic man, but at least Google is doing something to commemorate Easter.

written by rvler9201, 31 March 2013

Student likes own status on Facebook

RUSH, NY--Sperry High School student Kathleen Conner brought out the rare self-like on a Facebook status she thought was especially witty.

written by rvler9201, 08 February 2013

Panda Garden and exercise prove fatal

CLINTON, MO--Edward Garvey figured that 12 hours was enough distance between a Panda Garden meal and a treadmill run. He was wrong.

written by rvler9201, 31 January 2013

SEC Confusion

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman Mary Schapiro wasn't sure why reporters were calling the SEC "the undisputed best", but she'll take compliments wherever they come from.

written by rvler9201, 08 January 2013

South Carolina man figures out Al Gore's TV deal

AIKEN, SC--If Al Gore selling his TV station to Al Jazeera isn't proof Democrats are buddies with the terrorists, Brian Randell doesn't know what is.

written by rvler9201, 08 January 2013

Man trying to turn supermassive black hole discovery into Yo Mama joke

FARMVILLE, VA--Despite an hour-and-a-half of research, Pat Stion is uncertain if scientific terms can accurately convey how gaping Jacob Gulanski's mother's vagina is.

written by rvler9201, 01 December 2012

Third Grade Teacher Overrules Company's Spelling

SHELBY, MT--Ms. Torbitt doesn't care where 9-year-old Chris Spacer's dad works, 'Wearhouse' is not the correct spelling.

written by rvler9201, 16 October 2012

Woman wondering if that's an extra period or unfinished ellipsis

BROOKLINE, MA--Amy Tripwaller wasn't sure if her friend's text, 'That made my day..see you tonight' contained a two dot ellipsis or an extra period, but she wasn't about to ask, either.

written by rvler9201, 10 October 2012

Student couldn't care less if called Mike or Michael

LANGHORNE, PA--Neshaminy High School sophomore Michael Bellamy didn't really care if his English teacher Mr. Comeau called him Mike or Michael, but chose Mike because it has fewer syllables.

written by rvler9201, 19 September 2012

Man tweets #Occupy for old time's sake

NEW YORK, NY--Paul Easthouse tweeted #Occupy today to mark the movement's one-year anniversary, then after looking at the tweet and sighing heavily, returned to his life of corporate enslavement.

written by rvler9201, 18 September 2012

13-year-old can't stop giggling at "Free Pussy Riot" signs

HASLETT, MI--Andy Boxtun can't stop laughing at slogans made in defense of the Russian punk band, including "Free Pussy Riot", "Pussy Riot is Not a Crime", and "First They Came for the Pussy Riot."

written by rvler9201, 17 August 2012

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