Showing:

Showing snippets written by raouldukecommando.


Show all snippets.

Showing page 1 (of 2 pages)
Rating:

Stuart Hall given 15 months for sexual offences

...but judge plays the Joker and doubles it up to 30.

written by raouldukecommando, 17 June 2013
Rating:

Sex without butterflies is 'the best ever'

Having sex without butterflies around you is, experts say, awesome.

written by raouldukecommando, 25 May 2013
Rating:

Chr*s Moyles 'sodomised my handbag'

Former Radio 1 DJ Moyles has been charged with gross indecency with a handbag after an incident in the Reading branch of Miss Selfridge earlier this week.

written by raouldukecommando, 25 May 2013
Rating:

The 'N-word' is now the most used word in the English language

Linguists at the University of Chappaquiddick have calculated that the 'N-word' is used somewhere in the US at least 140,000 times per second in a variety of contexts, but mostly by academics.

written by raouldukecommando, 25 May 2013
Rating:

Suicide now a capital offence in Utah

Suicide now carries a penalty of death by lethal injection in Utah. The suicide victim is brought back to life in the normal way, then killed again as a punishment.

written by raouldukecommando, 25 May 2013
Rating:

Crucifixion of Jesus 'was a prank that went wrong'

Biblical scholars and historians have cited documentary evidence to suggest that Jesus' death was simply 'fooling around' with some centurions that got out of hand after too many beers.

written by raouldukecommando, 25 May 2013
Rating:

Jack the Ripper is 'Greatest Ever Briton'

Jack the Ripper has been voted Britain's greatest ever inhabitant by readers of Jack the Ripper Monthly.

written by raouldukecommando, 25 May 2013
Rating:

'The Queen is a c*nt'

The film director Stephen Frears says his film 'The Queen' was his most difficult film to make.

written by raouldukecommando, 25 May 2013
Rating:

'Rape should be an Olympic sport'

The harvesting of the cash-crop, Rape, that requires great skill and strength, might become a recognised sport by 2016.

written by raouldukecommando, 25 May 2013
Rating:

'The disabled are a waste of f*cking space'

A new study suggests that some the large number of spaces reserved for the Disabled could be used as breeding grounds for rare birds.

written by raouldukecommando, 25 May 2013
Rating:

'Self-harm' is the new rock and roll

Professor Rimming-Spree of the University of Sixties-New Town says that cutting oneself with glass and razor blades is 'pretty cool' and 'cutting edge'.

written by raouldukecommando, 25 May 2013
Rating:

'Gone away' is the Bluebird

Scientists suggest that, in geographical locations that can be termed 'Winter Wonderlands', the Bluebird has 'gone away' to be replaced by what they are calling a 'New Bird'.

written by raouldukecommando, 24 December 2012
Rating:

Top baby names of 2012: Thrush and Fecal

Other top names include Machete, Van Der Graaf Generator, Human Centipede, Velcro, Fuckstick, Cheesy Football, Smegma, Vosene, Septuagesima and Quad Bike.

written by raouldukecommando, 24 December 2012
Rating:

Mayan's prediction of jet packs for everyone now being treated with scepticism

The headline is the story - I am too tired to write the rest. Anyway, it's nearly Christmas. Seasons' greetings to one and all

written by raouldukecommando, 24 December 2012
Rating:

Archeologists red-faced after confusing 'hypocaust' with 'holocaust'

'Now we know why we didn't find any mosaic floor tiles at Aushwitz!' said Professor Bulb-of-Percussion at the University of Wessex.

written by raouldukecommando, 24 December 2012
Rating:

Romans had 'the Holocaust' under their floors

Archeologists have proved that the Romans had concentration camps with guards and gas chambers under their floors as a means of providing heating.

written by raouldukecommando, 24 December 2012
Rating:

US constitution: right to 'bear arms' becomes 'have small penises'

The US constitution will strike a reference to bearing arms and replace it with a reference to small penises - the implication will remain the same, thus avoiding the anger of the pro-gun lobby.

written by raouldukecommando, 24 December 2012
Rating:

Top present of 2012 will be Bradley Wiggins' sperm preserved in amber

Shops report they sold out of the Sports Personality's seed fixed in protective resin this weekend. Scientists hope that the fluid may be reactivated in the future to create an island of cyclists.

written by raouldukecommando, 24 December 2012
Rating:

Cancer scientists admit they were working on the starsign, not the disease

'We found a cure for Cancer, but it involved not being born between 21 June and 22 July. Sorry'.

written by raouldukecommando, 24 December 2012
Rating:

'Xmas' is blasphemous abbreviation

Replacing 'Christ' in the word 'Christmas' with an 'X' is 'the devil's work' according to the Church of Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ yes Christ.

written by raouldukecommando, 24 December 2012
Rating:

Christmas 'makes dogs come'

Just seeing the word 'Christmas' can induce orgasm in some breeds of dogs, experts at the Institute of Fucking Around suggest.

written by raouldukecommando, 24 December 2012
Rating:

America's fucked-up nerds urged to hit legitimate targets for a change

written by raouldukecommando, 17 December 2012
Rating:

'Fuck the lot of you'

You can all fuck off and die as far as I'm concerned, a new study suggests.

written by raouldukecommando, 17 September 2010
Rating:

Americans 'just want to be Canadians'

Study suggests that US citizens want to switch to being Canadian. Canadians are more intelligent, sophisticated and are OK with guns, making them attractive role-models for youngsters.

written by raouldukecommando, 17 September 2010
Showing page 1 (of 2 pages)


Send To A Friend

Send this site to a friend!

Friend's Email:

Your Name:

What's 2 multiplied by 5?

6 4 19 10

RSS & Feeds

The Spoof is proud to present all its stories as RSS Feeds.

More Info...


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 3?

6 10 9 4

Go to top ^