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Negative Reinforcement A Positive Winner
In a 1.7 million dollar study Psychologist conclude, positive reinforcement and adoration, as ego inflating as it is, doesn't work as well as a 20,000 volt shock collar.
English Thrown Out As Language of United States
Obama changes official language to Ebonics. Grades for D.C. area students improve dramatically over night. Former Acorn workers employed to translate the Constitution into the new language.
Sotomayor, Movin On Up
New Supreme Court Judge Sotomayor found to not be Latino. She admits to the hoax but found to be Obama's half sister born in Kenya.
Nancy Pelosi Lights One Up
Nancy Pelosi demands lawmakers include medical marijuana in health care bill. California farmers celebrate the news into the night at beaches all over the state.
Acorn Revitilized by Offering Mangement Training
Michigan Governor sends all state employees to Acorn for management training seminars.
Record Suicude Rate Obama Takes Credit
Record suicide rate due to poor economy. Business is busting at the seams in Funeral homes all over America. Obama credits his stimulus plan.
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