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Jesus Saves.....

With the current economic climate and the cost of goods such as bread and wine expected to rise, Jesus is setting a wonderful example for us all to follow.

written by Bunsen Burner, 24 October 2009
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Poll Shows That 22% Consider Watching Question Time Again

22% have indicated that they may watch Question Time again. The poll was commissioned by the BBC, who are keen to develop higher viewing figures ahead of integrity.

written by Bunsen Burner, 23 October 2009
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London Ethically Cleansed

London was ethically cleansed last night as a fat Nazi was allowed on tv.

written by Bunsen Burner, 23 October 2009
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Rare Bird Sighted On Tyneside

She was wearing clothes.

written by Bunsen Burner, 23 October 2009
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Berlin Wall Still Not Rebuilt After 20 Years

The builders who were called in to rebuild a collapsed wall in Berlin have still not completed the work 20 years on. They claim that there is a shortage of bricks.

written by Bunsen Burner, 23 October 2009
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Man Denies Sawing Off Wife's Head

He says she did it herself after an argument.

written by Bunsen Burner, 23 October 2009
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How Does Salman Rushdie Do It?

Millionaire Salman Rushdie has another young woman in his life. How does he do it? What is the attraction?

written by Bunsen Burner, 22 October 2009
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Amelia Erhart Was A Rag Doll

American aviation pioneer Amelia Erhart was really a rag doll and when she disappeared she was hiding in the bottom of the toy cupboard.

written by Bunsen Burner, 21 October 2009
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Libel Lawyer To Sue The Spoof

Legendary libel law firm Carter Fuck is to sue the spoof for libel just as soon as something libelous slips past the editor.

written by Bunsen Burner, 21 October 2009
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MP's Expenses: They Haven't Got A Legg To Stand On

MP's have admitted that following a stringent investigation into their expenses they haven't got a legg to stand on and will have to vote on the issue themselves.....

written by Bunsen Burner, 21 October 2009
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Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike

Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike Postal Strike

written by Bunsen Burner, 21 October 2009
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Last Chance For Cowboy Clampers

Wheel clampers were today told that clamping horses tethered outside saloons would no longer be tolerated. By orders of Sheriff Boris Johnson.

written by Bunsen Burner, 21 October 2009
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Jan Moir To Appear On Question Time

The BBC is to continue its policy of inviting guests who have extreme opinions which annoy everybody. So it's three cheers all round and can't wait to see the ratings.

written by Bunsen Burner, 20 October 2009
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"You Are A Terrorist Mr Blair!"

Tony Blair was called a terrorist today by a mad one eyed Scotsman called Gordon. The heckler was led away by Peter Mandelson before any harm could be done.

written by Bunsen Burner, 20 October 2009
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Balloon Boy Feels Let Down By Parents

The boy at the center of the balloon fraud scandal says that he feels let down and by his parents.

written by Bunsen Burner, 19 October 2009
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No More Male Through Gateley's Box

There are to be no more deliveries in Stephen Gateley's back door post box due to industrial inaction.

written by Bunsen Burner, 19 October 2009
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Children Spared Naked Airport Scans

Children will not be subjected to the new airport scanners which would show them naked. This is due to anti-pedophile laws. Instead they will be felt up by strange men in uniforms.

written by Bunsen Burner, 18 October 2009
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Mia Farrow Speaks Out For Gazza's Children

Actress Mia Farrow says she is appalled by the plight of children who have a fat alcoholic ex-footballer for a father. She feels something should be done to save them.

written by Bunsen Burner, 18 October 2009
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Thieves Break In To Harry Enfield's Car

Thieves have broken in to Harry Enfield's car. They are reported to have left behind a laptop full of his jokes but did steal all the polos and and a nodding dog.

written by Bunsen Burner, 18 October 2009
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Sri Lankan Refugees In Limbo

President of Limbo seeking their expulsion.

written by Bunsen Burner, 18 October 2009
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Boyzone Auditions

Boyzone are to hold auditions for a new vacancy. All those interested please attend Gobbler's Gulch, Clapham Common on 1st November.

written by Bunsen Burner, 17 October 2009
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Illegal Hare Cursing On The Rise

But lets face it, if you had a pack of dogs chasing you down you'd be cursing too.

written by Bunsen Burner, 16 October 2009
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Gordon's Brown Eye To Get Special Treatment

Prime Minister Gordon Brown can't see. Lord Mandelson is an expert in opening up brown eye and hopes to ease Gordon's burden.

written by Bunsen Burner, 16 October 2009
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