Showing snippets written by Dingwall Johnson.
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Red Rag Inoffensive Says Colour Blind Bull
Bullfighters sacked a colour-blind bull in Spain after it refused to be riled by a red rag.
Ex-President Bush Promises Quick Response To Hurricane Katrina
Former US President George W. Bush has promised an rapid emergency response to Hurricane Katrina. Team expected in New Orleans any day now to deal with aftermath of 2005 natural disaster.
King Size Beds The Norm In Dallas Hospital As Number Of Obese Patients Rise
King size beds have replaced single beds in a Dallas hospital because most patients are obese. The hospital bought cranes, a winch and a scissor lift after nurses complained of back pain.
Sir Elton Buys AC Milan: Wants To Change Name To AC/DC Milan
Sir Elton John is to become new owner of AC Milan football club. The singer says his first move will be to change the club's name to AC/DC Milan.
Broad Church Refused Planning Permission
A minister who told his parishioners he wanted to establish a broad church has been refused planning permission.
Blue Moon Of Kentucky Moved For Security Reasons
The Blue Moon Of Kentucky has been moved to Mississipi for security reasons. Intelligence Services believe an attack on the celestial body was imminent.
Tea And Coffee Takes The Biscuit
Trading Standards Officials have berated tea and coffee companies after tests showed cups contained 98% water.
Canine Tells Dog Whisperer To Speak Up
Dog whisperer, Cesar Millan, got the shock of his life yesterday when his border collie, Rusty, politely requested he speak up.
Kayne Rates Current Pope
Kanye West tells Pope Benedict XVI, "You're good, but Pope John Paul II was better."
Kanye Says Grammys Were Better
Kayne West has stuck the knife into the MTV VMAs by telling the organisers, "They were okay but The Grammys were better."
Scientists Teach Fish To Speak
Scientists who taught a fish to speak were stunned when it claimed thumbs were "overrated".
Posties Cancel Strike Action After Ballots Lost In Post
Post office workers have been forced to put on hold plans to go on strike after their ballot papers got lost in the post.
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