Showing snippets written by Rebel Not Taken.
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Man with massive penis arrested at airport
A man triggered airport security after he was spotted walking with a massive penis. The suspect was later released and was named as Chelsea manager Roberto Di Matteo accompanied by John Terry.
North Koreans are barking mad.
North Koreans are up in arms after the Olympic Committee made a dog's dinner of their national anthem.
The classic English dessert has been renamed to avoid embarrassment. The pud has been given the title Spotted Richard, after Hounslow Council bosses feared the original name might cause offence.
Look-a-like competition in China.
A look-a-like competition in China was cancelled this week after everybody won.
Chelsea Stadium to be renamed the Tampax Stadium.
Extra stewards will be drafted in to cope with the increase in Pre Match Tension.
Suspicious E Mail.
Do not open an E Mail offering 2 free tickets to watch a Chelsea match. It may contain 2 free tickets to watch a Chelsea match.
Millwall fans defend Eltham.
They are patrolling the streets singing "no one loots us we don't care"
Rio Ferdinand to address the nation on Twitter.
Kick Off 19.45 (Sky Sports 1HD)
Charity shops outwit looters.
High Street Charity shops are defying the looters by leaving all their clothes strewn all over the pavement without price stickers on.
Rupert Murdoch statement.
Rupert Murdoch said he has been touched by the messages left on Amy Winehouse's answer phone.
Mick McCarthy in Twitter attack
Wolves' manager Mick McCarthy has warned his players they will be banned and fined for spreading rumours on Twitter and tweeted that they are "numpties".
Oh the shame of it!
The Prime Minister having to cut short a visit to Nigeria to make a statement to the House arising from allegations about corruption involving the British police.
Cheryl Cole gives Ashley one last chance.
'If he gets his air rifle out again and shoot anyone it's over' she told reporters.
Free beer tomorrow.
There is a sign in my local pub promising FREE BEER TOMORROW.
Lots of idiots turned up. Like they do every day.
I don't want to be too negative
But there is no plus button on my calculator.
Bag of commas stolen from HQ of Spoof.Com.
A bag of commas has been stolen from a Writer's Forum and have, been found, in very, strange places,
Nottingham Forest appoint Umbrella as new manager.
The Umbrella is expected to bring in ex England coach Steve McClaren as it's assistant.
Ryan Giggs song banned from terraces by Judge.
He's Welsh, he's red, he's in his brothers bed, Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs.
Ayrton Senna film crashes
A film about the Brazilian racing driver Ayrton Senna opened at The Curzon,Mayfair last night.Senna's nephew Bruno was due to attend but was involved in a 10 car pile up on the way to the cinema.
Imogen Thomas Anagram
is believe it or not 'a smooth minge'
Celebrations in Manchester
There is a joyous and triumphant celebration party by Manchester City fans tonight in the city centre.
The FA Cup victory parade originally planned for today has been postponed till next week.
Welsh footballer named
The Sun can today reveal that the footballer involved in the superinjunction scandal is Ivor Bigun.
More as it comes in (no pun intended).
Carlo Ancelotti given tin tac by Chelski
That has raised a few eyebrows!
Ryan Giggs Anonymous
Manchester United star not involved in game against Blackpool.
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