Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Frank Miller.

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Spitfire hunters in Burma discover crate...

...of milk.

written by Frank Miller, 09 January 2013

Southern England brought to a standstill under eight inches of Cocaine

God takes responsibility, "I pushed the wrong button and dumped my stash by accident" He described how he realised his mistake after snorting three lines of snow and got a killer ice cream headache.

written by Frank Miller, 06 January 2010

Old woman savegley beaten by 6 year old

She was beaten 12 times in a row at Stratego. Later she referred her grandson as a "Smart arsed little bastard!"

written by Frank Miller, 14 November 2009

Boris Johnson saves woman from gang beating

But regretted it later when she said his policies sucked and she voted for Ken Livingstone. Boris said, "Ungrateful bitch! Next time I'll stay on my bike and mind my own business!"

written by Frank Miller, 05 November 2009

Iron found on Mercury

A Surrey Housewife claimed the iron was hers, she had lost it whilst on holiday in July. She's since been pressing clothes under heavy books.

written by Frank Miller, 05 November 2009

Fat kids say they don't want surgery!

They want more chocolate cake and buckets of lard instead.

written by Frank Miller, 12 October 2009

Cameron says 'I'm up to the test'

"Come on then, ask me a question on anything you like! Sport, General knowledge. Anything. Geography, Films, Music, Homeopathy. Anything at all!

written by Frank Miller, 08 October 2009

Dinosaur prints found in France

They appear to date from the early Jurassic Renaissance period where dinosaurs experimented with vibrant colours and bold shapes.

written by Frank Miller, 08 October 2009

Half of Irish airline AirLingus to be sold

Lord Rupert Air, who owns half of Air Lingus is to sell his half to Irish entrepreneur Patrick Cuni. His partner Ryan Lingus said, "We'll change the airline's name appropriately".

written by Frank Miller, 07 October 2009

David Cameron spells out New benefit cut plan.

"N, e, w, space, b, uh, e, n, um, e, f, e, no sorry, i, t, space, c, u, t, space, p, l, hmmm, a, n, full stop", Said Mr Cameron earlier today.

written by Frank Miller, 04 October 2009

Homeopathy won't help when you're drowning in pig vomit!

Say scientists.

written by Frank Miller, 30 September 2009

PM Gordon Brown to fight anti social behaviour

He'll wear a mask and cape and be known as "The Masked Putty". He only comes out at night since daylight causes his face to melt. It's happened twice already; he's only 25

written by Frank Miller, 29 September 2009

UK Police to sell stolen goods on eBay

Leicestershire Police said "It's OK when we do it!"

written by Frank Miller, 27 September 2009

Gordon Brown says he does not roll over

But he does like to beg, play dead and have his tummy tickled. Also he catches frizbees in his mouth and can lick his own bollocks.

written by Frank Miller, 27 September 2009

UK Miracle Skydiver Paul Lewis: Transcript of fall to earth released

You can spot main chute failure, reserve chute deploy then failure and eventual landing. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRHHHH...Phew! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRHHHHHH...Ooof! Phew!"

written by Frank Miller, 06 September 2009

UN reports sharp drop in Afgan Opium

UN says the drop was caused by unfavourable weather and the locals not working hard enough. Supply should be back to normal next year.

written by Frank Miller, 02 September 2009

Germany: Impatient Swiss ruins Mount Zugspitze

Nock couldn't wait for the next cable car and decided to walk up the cable himself, causing delays for hours and wrecking everyone's day. Eye witnesses said, "Impatient Twat!"

written by Frank Miller, 31 August 2009

Dried Nasal Mucus: Eat more to survive

Scientists have revealed the secret for survival in the Australian Outback. "Nose goblins provide salt and essential protein", they say, "Bogeys or Witchetty grubs; your choice."

written by Frank Miller, 29 August 2009

Blackberry Bee Man in stable condition

Man hospitalised after checking for email on blackberries. He got covered in juice and was attacked and partially eaten by bees.

Spokesman says, "Blackberry, Blackberries; easy mistake to make."

written by Frank Miller, 29 August 2009

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