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NBA Referee Arrested for Public Indedency

Witnesses spotted the referee blowing his whistle multiple times. Referee claims it's part of his job. Police say the referee may also face prostitution charges.

written by ESB, 25 January 2011
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Man Arrested for Killing Time

Suspect says he's done it thousands of times. Challenges police to keep him from doing it again.

written by ESB, 25 January 2011
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Cloned Jefferson Writes New Declaration!

But doesn't know how to work a Xerox. Has never seen light bulb nevermind a photocopier. Looked for the power button for an hour, jammed the machine twice then gave up.

written by ESB, 12 January 2011
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Founding Fathers Cloned!

Finally, an end to all our problems.

written by ESB, 12 January 2011
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New Gun Invented!

Has muzzle on both ends of barrel.

written by ESB, 12 January 2011
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Second Amendment Repealed!

US citizens will be allowed to keep and carry bear arms. Authorities report a spike in the number of armless bears since the amendment passed.

written by ESB, 12 January 2011
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Man Invents New Vinyl Siding!

The new siding is made from diamonds. The inventor says it will last "double forever" - whatever that means.

written by ESB, 12 January 2011
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Tickle Me Elmo Shocker!

He's not really ticklish but says he likes it when kids "touch me."

written by ESB, 12 January 2011
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New Awards Show!

The new show will honor the best of award shows.

written by ESB, 12 January 2011
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Fortress of Solitude Destroyed!

Superman's sanctuary is the latest victim of global warming. The Fortress of Solitude was swamped by rising sea levels. Superman made it out alive, however he doesn't have insurance.

written by ESB, 11 January 2011
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People Don't Like Being Stabbed

A new survey finds that most Americans don't like being stabbed. An overwhelming 97% responded negatively to the idea.

written by ESB, 11 January 2011
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Police Looking for Killer Tornado

Officers tried to handcuff the twister but it got away. Police also looking for a tornado that allegedly sexually assaulted a woman.

written by ESB, 11 January 2011
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People in Hell Don't Want Ice Water!

Regular water makes more sense. Point out ice would melt too quickly thus negating the entire point of ice.

written by ESB, 11 January 2011
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ESPN to Run SportsCenter Twenty Four Hours a Day

In order words, no change in programming.

written by ESB, 11 January 2011
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Man Starts World War III

He says he did it for a Klondike Bar.

written by ESB, 10 January 2011
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New Reality Show Announced!

"Watching with the Stars" will premiere this fall on ABC. The show will follow stars as they watch "Dancing with the Stars."

written by ESB, 10 January 2011
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Google Not Original Name

The ubiquitous search engine was originally called "website that allows you to look things up." Creators then switched to "lksjdfoabnlasdfajodsj," but figured that sounded too silly.

written by ESB, 10 January 2011
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Man Pays for Internet Porn

is ridiculed by friends.

written by ESB, 10 January 2011
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Police Believe Shotgun Killed by Handgun

Police have arrested a handgun in connection with the death of a shotgun. Police are not certain of a motive.

written by ESB, 10 January 2011
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FOX News Looking Into Twenty Five Hour News Cycle!

Thinks the twenty four hour cycle is a conspiracy by the liberal media.

written by ESB, 09 January 2011
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How Much Does A S**T Ton Way?

Scientists say a very smelly two thousands pounds.

written by ESB, 09 January 2011
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Peeping Tom Looking In Your Window!

Seriously. Look behind you!

written by ESB, 09 January 2011
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English Nerds Rate Sex With Punctuation!

An exclamation point is considered excellent, a period just okay and a question mark terrible. Colons are considered down right nasty.

written by ESB, 09 January 2011
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New Facebook Feature Revealed!

You can read about it on my Facebook page.

written by ESB, 09 January 2011
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