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Thinking Outside the Box

US Defense Department interested in renting Chilean mine for prison to replace Gitmo. Prisoners placed half a mile down will be closer to their 72 virgins.

written by Nailer, 02 October 2010
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Star Trek Model For Taliban

Like Star Trek, Taliban has almost no enlisted soldiers. They are all Taliban Commanders or Number 2s (as opposed to Captain Picard's "Number One".

written by Nailer, 23 February 2010
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Sneaky, Sneaky

Rumors: Chinese Advance Men have been spotted near Area 51 north of Las Vegas. They are said to be making an offer for the set of the NASA faked Moon Landing. Damn, these guys copy everything.

written by Nailer, 09 February 2010
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Torture Update

The CIA announced today that waterboarding and other controversial measures will be replaced by forcing terrorists captured to watch National Public Radio fund raisers. DooWop and Roy Orbison lives.

written by Nailer, 05 February 2010
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NBC Announces New Show

Furor over the Tonight Show driving viewer numbers further down, the network announced a more diverse offering for the coming year. An example, A Down Home Country Christmas With Louis Farrakhan.

written by Nailer, 05 February 2010
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VP Biden's Double Fired

The Vice President's look alike was fired this afternoon after he gave a speech without once trying to shove his head up his ass, effectively "blowing his cover".

written by Nailer, 05 February 2010
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Conan Going Into Politics

Fired NBC Tonight Show host Conan O'Brien has announced that he will be entering politics. He has registered as a candidate for President of Finland.

written by Nailer, 21 January 2010
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Frenchman Shutsdown Airport

At JFK airport a rear body scan of a French passenger, Beldar Conehead, were deemed "out of compliance" by the TSA. Security checks are shut down until further notice.

written by Nailer, 21 January 2010
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Al Sharpton Speaks Out On Obama

Calls Obama a dark skinned white boy who speaks like a honky when he needs to do so.

written by Nailer, 19 January 2010
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Saudis to help Haiti

The Saudi Arabian Government announced the departure of a 500 camel caravan to bring aid to the Haitian earthquake victims.

written by Nailer, 19 January 2010
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Debate of the Giants

Pat Robertson to debate Danny Glover tonight on CNN. Tune in 8 Eastern, 7 Central.

written by Nailer, 19 January 2010
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SNL Star Struck Down

New York. Tina Fey assassinated by Keith Olbermann look alike.

written by Nailer, 11 January 2010
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Obama Speaks

White House says the three day wait before the President addresses the nation about the terrorist attack on an inbound airliner, was due to the time it took to fly in his teleprompter.

written by Nailer, 28 December 2009
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Racial Equality


The unthinkable has happened. Black men are now portrayed as imbeciles, just as white men are on television commercials. Equal at last, equal at last.

written by Nailer, 27 December 2009
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Hot Date

Seventy two unsullied virgins available after Al Queada terrorist proves to be inept student and an example of grade inflation at bomb making school.

written by Nailer, 27 December 2009
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Senior Citizens

Police respond to a call from staff at The Golden Fog, a local retirement home. A melee started among the female residents when diapers were thrown on stage while an Elvis Impersonator was singing.

written by Nailer, 27 December 2009
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The Movies

Hollywood announces new category of "Worst Movie Genre Ever". First in this class is a new film about the Obama Administration, starring Martin Lawrence, Will Ferrell, Pauly Shore, Adam Sandler .

written by Nailer, 22 December 2009
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Santa

Shopping Mall Santas outlawed by OSHA. Said to be going blind from the flash of hundreds of cameras. Insiders say problem hidden by having young girls lead the sightless Santas around.

written by Nailer, 22 December 2009
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AMA

In an effort to participate in the green economy the American Medical Assoc.has announced that surgeons will utilize their own sterile urine and have started pissing on their hands prior to surgery.

written by Nailer, 22 December 2009
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VP Contributes

Joe Biden to be contestant on Jeopardy to earn money for national treasury.

written by Nailer, 22 December 2009
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African Friends

Obama Administration hails help from Africa. White House announces they will be receiving funds of huge account from the Nigerian Defense Ministry. Key to Fort Knox sent as collateral.

written by Nailer, 22 December 2009
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Shocking Discovery

Police raid largest heroin dealer on east coast and discover he is flushing evidence away using a HIGH CAPACITY TOILET OF 3.5 GALLONS.

written by Nailer, 22 December 2009
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Wizard Inside

White House drive ways being repaved with yellow bricks.

written by Nailer, 22 December 2009
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Justice Department Investigation

Justice Department investigating the unauthorized visits to Gitmo by Jehovah's Witnesses. Copies of Watchtower said to have been flushed down toilets.

written by Nailer, 22 December 2009
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