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Showing snippets written by JP Johnston.


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Prophet ***** ****** ***** *** *****

Islam's central figure, the Prophet ******** was *** and never ******* his **** without ****, according to a new book "Insulting the Prophet: Bring Chips When You Visit" by Giles Brandreth

written by JP Johnston, 14 January 2011
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Lock up Children - Pope to Visit

Pope Rantzen XVI will visit disadvantaged and gullible children in the UK before avoiding Ireland.

written by JP Johnston, 21 March 2010
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Sick Cowell Pulls Out of Talent

Talent says "thank god." Cowell wipes self on curtains.

written by JP Johnston, 03 February 2010
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SANTA IS DEAD

Police: Santa Yitzak Claus was found dead this morning in a Helsinki hotel room. It appears the death was by accidental strangulation. Elf being questioned. Christmas is cancelled. Geese reprieved.

written by JP Johnston, 24 December 2009
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Esther Rantzen In World Record Bid

Esther Rantzen failed to win the world record for eating Brussels sprouts. She is still in the running for world's most flatulent woman.

written by JP Johnston, 20 December 2009
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Fantom of Opera Strikes Again

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

written by JP Johnston, 11 December 2009
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Brown Speech Impediment Hampers Message to TUC

PM's inability to say letter "N" in some words stopped him making himself understood at TUC conference. "I knew there would be a whole bunch of cuts here today" was how it came out. Whoops.

written by JP Johnston, 15 September 2009
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Jacko's Ghost Sighting Dismissed

Experts have dismissed a sighting claimed to be Michael Jackson's ghost on Larry King's tv show. The shade passing in the background at Neverland was "Too dark."

written by JP Johnston, 08 July 2009
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Kim Jong Il Saddened by US Response

The North Korean Leader is saddened that the US chose to interpret his fireworks display for July 4th as a provocative military act.

written by JP Johnston, 04 July 2009
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Michael Jackson "Still Dead"

Michael Jackson has not risen from the dead as his messianic persona suggested. Just a man. Just a man.

written by JP Johnston, 27 June 2009
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