Showing snippets written by Jaggedone.
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Fellaini bags last minute Brussel Sprout!
Man Utd were saved by a much maligned Belgian who in the last minute bagged a Brussel sprout and shot down a bunch of Oranges. Idiots jeering his every move also were made to swallow their crap!!
Obama declares war on Putin!
Barack Obama has declared war on Putin because he prefers to attack an enemy he knows rather than one who he hasn't the foggiest idea who the hell ISIS are!
ISIS claim victory over Saddam Hussein
ISIS are marching forward in Iraq and have promised to drive over dead bodies to reach their goal, one of their high-level victims is Saddam Hussein!
Putin declares war on Iraq
Putin has declared war on Iraq because he has nothing better to do and is desperately in need of attention!
Fellaini begs Louis for exit!
Man U misfit has begged Louis van G to let him leave because Belgians do not like the Dutch and he would prefer to show off his skills in Naples with a Spanish trainer! Now who's Double Dutch!
Israel want Gaza Strip as casino!
Israel are determined to get rid of Palestinians in the Gaza Strip because they want to turn the place into a new Las Vegas; money my boy, money!
Vietnam will never be the same!
Robin Williams RIP and Vietnam will never be the same again!
Russian separatists living it up!
As world media attention flows to Iraq, Russian separatists are having a bomb of a time because nobody gives a shit anymore about Putin!
Syria offer Iraqi refugees a bomb of a time!
Iraqi refugees rushing to the Syrian border have been welcomed with open arms as Syria offer them much of the same; bombs, tanks, death and destruction. It's Arabian solidarity!
Hitler seen in Jerusalem
Hitler seen in Jerusalam banging his head against the wall and asking god why he didn't finish the job! Israeli soldiers took him away for interrogation and a few tips on how to finish Palestine!
George Bush comes out of retirement
George Bush is coming out of retirement to finish of what he did not do, exterminate Iraq!
cracked genius, brilliant comedian, many demons, sums him up actually; sad day!
Scot's coffee is stronger than Italian!
Scientists have proven that Scottish coffee is stronger than Italian; aye laddie, just a wee dram!
North Korea claim second Malaysian Plane in 2014!
Kim Jong-Un has claimed a second success in 2014 ever since U Tube took the piss out of him by kidnapping one and giving Ukrainian separatists a rocket launching set to blow Malaysian plane away!
World Cup given to the Dutch!
Germany have been forced to hand over the World Cup to Holland because their ex-manager, LVG, insists that there was not one German playing and he's always right!
Dutch airliner ventures into German airspace!
A Dutch airliner was spotted flying over Germany today and survived the ordeal although they were warned about high-flying Germans flying high since they won the World Cup!
Syria call for a ceasefire!
Syria has decided to call it a day and offered their weapons to the Palestinians in an unprecedented show of Arabian solidarity. Hamas refused and declared war on the infidels; yet another one!
Heatwave melts Iceland!
An approaching heatwave melted Iceland, luckily their personnel escaped without being hit by a passing Iceberg!
Louis v Gaal fires Rooney!
Man Utd Dutch manager has fired Rooney because he earns 3 times as much and in Dutch tradition a subordinate can never earn more than the boss!
Israel claim Hamas have W'OMD
To back up their self-claimed rights to bomb the shit out of Palestinians, Israel have spotted Arabs bearing a WOMD, an 86 year old grandma was last seen flashing her bloomers at Israeli soldiers!
Rooney only gets a 3 week holiday!
England flop, Wayne Rooney, is distraught because he booked 4 weeks in a 6 star hotel in Vegas, now he only has 3 poor chap! England fans claim he has a holiday all year after his flop in Brazil!
Jimmy Saville did not have sex with the dead!
BBC DJ's claim that Jimmy Saville never had sex with the dead because they witnessed him only having sex with the new born!
Pedophile politicians blame the sixties sex revolution!
Pedophile politicians running for their lives or dead already are blaming flower power for their misdemeanours, hippy culture they say, allowed them to fiddle with anything walking on 2 legs or more!
BBC fall into summer black hole!
No news is good news so the BBC decided to headline FGM as their main news item. Hoardes of young African girls were last seen being bunged into containers heading for Sierra Leone!
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