Spoof Snippets
Showing snippets written by Jaggedone.
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32% pay rise for Brit MPs!
Brit MP's are demanding a 32% pay rise because they feel the garbage and hot air that spews out of their mouths is worth much more. The tax-payer who picks up their rubbish will get 0,00%!
Britain bans booze!
Britain is to become the second nation in the free world to ban booze! North Korea were the first; BURP!
And you thought Jagger was out of touch!
Ageing superstar, David Bowie, has released a single after a 10 year break and maybe he should of thought better! A reporter asked Justin Bieber what he thought of the single and he replied, "who?"
What does Thatcher and Cameron have in common?
Good question: For the answer ask the Argentinians; they're always obliging when a UK PM is losing his or her marbles!
Dutch dead sky-diver lost in Dutch mountains for days!
A dutch sky-diver (RIP) who's parachute failed to open was lost for days because he landed in the dutch mountains and they are very difficult to access! He was found at an altitude of 6ft!
Supermarket junk food is healthier than Jamie Oliver's recipes!
It has been proven that supermarket junk food makes you thin and Jamie's makes you fat! The reason is obvious; nobody can swallow the supermarket crap so they spit it out!
Greek soccer team sponsored by brothel!
A Greek soccer team that is sponsored by a brothel have been told that if they win all of their games they will be "handed" some free samples! They are now training "harder" than ever!
Boris Johnson and Starbucks are in corporation!
Boris Johnson and Starbucks agree and are in "Corporation" Boris said; "You pay your taxes and I'll give you some free press exposure because I am so famous!" The perfect pair; Beans and Boris!
Italian soccer fan contemplates suicide!
A sad, lonely Udinese fan who stood alone in Genoa was contemplating suicide so he gave the local Samaritans a buzz and they saved his life! They told him his crap club was not worth dying for!
Mike Tyson is not having a sex-change op!
An African spoof site has reported that ex-ear biter and boxer, Mike Tyson, is having a sex-change op! It's not true; he's just feeling his feminine side and she bites big-time too!
Dirty money or dirty laundry? Go to HSBC!
The US have fined HSBC for being as clean as a whistle whilst laundering filthy money from drug cartels and rogue nations! It was easy; they own the joint!
BA attempt to shag Virgin!
BA have attempted to shag Virgin but Sir Richard Branson refuses to open his legs!
Batteries needed for vibrators!
After 30 years of marriage a couple attempting to have a steamy sex session decided to use a vibrator unfortunately the thing didn't have batteries and left her cold insted of hot and spicy!
Lorry drivers caught watching porn videos on the M1!
During an MI motorway operation several truck drivers were caught watching porno's whilst driving which caused swerving, but only on high-points!
Big freeze warms up!
"The Big Freeze is just warming up so please stay in your snowdrifts until further notice;" The weather man!
Balotelli, booed by BVB boo boys!
This time he was innocent; Super Mario didn't deserve to be booed off by the BVB boo boys! His shameful, pitiful, money grabbing Man city team mates deserved the Blitzkrieg not Balotelli!
The Simpsons are no Turkish Delight!
The Simpsons have been banned and fined in Turkey for being blasphemous. In one show Satan told Homer to mock God and it was not to the Turks Delight!
Gay activists demand a Gay Santa!
Global gay activists have had enough and now they are demanding a gay Santa or they will boycott Christmas because the other one is gay all year and only at Christmas is he straight, ask Rudolph!
Huge black hole in outer galaxy is definitely female!
Scientists have discovered a huge black hole in galaxy NGC 1277, it is most definitely female because male black holes only let gas out and this one is sucking everything in!
Angus T Jones apologises because God told him too!
After calling "Two and a half men" filth, Angus T Jones has now said sorry because he loves his $350000,00 fee per show and God told him too because he loves Charlie not Ashton!
Onion spoof makes Chinese cry!
Famous satire magazine, The Onion, have hit it big in China because the Chinese Communist Party newspaper printed their spoof; Now the Chinese people cannot stop crying (with laughter)!
Two and a half men is filth claims ex-Sheen nephew!
Charlie Sheen's ex-nephew in "Two and a half men" has claimed the show is filth because he's now a born again Christian. He was recently exorcised of his demons for the price of 2 shows!
Chelsea fans really are a sad, pathetic bunch!
Chelsea fans are so pathetic. They protest about Rafa Benitez because they think Abramovich cares about what they feel about his club. Deluded idiots! He only cares about one thing; his caviar!
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