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Showing snippets written by Roy Turse.


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Nationwide to merge with Dunfermline

Nationwide say they hope the deal will make them the 'Lloyds Banking Group of Building Societies'.

written by Roy Turse, 30 March 2009
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UK exams regulator Ofqual has blamed exam boards after finding Science GCSE standards have fallen

They said that if the exam boards are not part of the solution, then they are part of the precipitate.

written by Roy Turse, 27 March 2009
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PM and Palace discuss changes to rules of succession to the British throne.

It's a thinly disguised attempt to get Princess Anne to the top of the list while there's still time.

written by Roy Turse, 26 March 2009
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The US Mint will introduce the first ever coins with Braille inscriptions this week.

It is to commemorate the blind leading the blind into the current economic crisis.

written by Roy Turse, 26 March 2009
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US calls for more circumcision to combat STIs have been dismissed by Alan Johnson, UK minister for Health

"If Americans want to have more circumcisions," he said, "It's no skin off my nose."

written by Roy Turse, 26 March 2009
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An opening has arisen for someone to run a London council's Scuba Equipment shop.

The job title is Manager of Diver City

written by Roy Turse, 25 March 2009
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Sir Fred Goodwin says it's fortunate nobody was injured when his windows were broken.

Luckily, he was busy in his counting house at the time.

written by Roy Turse, 25 March 2009
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Man admits to putting in Sir Fred Goodwin's windows.

Michael Mc.Tunnart of Mc.Tunnart Glazing Services has been accused by the police of courting publicity since he made the claim.

written by Roy Turse, 25 March 2009
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Shaft in Africa

The Pope says don't.

written by Roy Turse, 25 March 2009
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Correction:

In a recent article, when we stated 'Chris Moyles is Will Young's poof' we were of course intending to refer to 'Chris Moyles's Will Young Spoof'.

written by Roy Turse, 23 March 2009
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British Government announces new IT project

A database containing details of all the illegally held data that the government holds on computer will be created to monitor the problem

written by Roy Turse, 23 March 2009
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Gazza checks in with his doctor

Paul Gascoigne has gone for a full checkup after one newspaper refered to him as 'the people's prince'

written by Roy Turse, 23 March 2009
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The US has announced a plan to buy up $1trillion of toxic assets

The UK has agreed to bury the lot in a landfill waste site near Peterborough.

written by Roy Turse, 23 March 2009
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Green shoots of recovery at last?

Man reports seeing a vehicle with an 09 registration plate parked on a drive in the Midlands.

written by Roy Turse, 21 March 2009
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AIG bonuses 'higher than thought'

A spokesman said "We started paying them out and nobody stopped us, so we just kept going."

written by Roy Turse, 21 March 2009
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Pink Elephant Spotted

Although it could have been a pig that had used Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon.

written by Roy Turse, 20 March 2009
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Pink Elephant Spotted

The baby pink elephant that was photographed recently has grey spots.

written by Roy Turse, 20 March 2009
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Pink Elephant Spotted

Susannah Constantine from 'What Not To Wear' was photographed at a film premiere in London, and apparently she may have seen a picture of the pink elephant earlier. What?

written by Roy Turse, 20 March 2009
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Pink: Elephant Spotted

American singer Pink claims to have seen an elephant during a visit to her home town of Doylestown, Pennsylvania.

written by Roy Turse, 20 March 2009
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Pink Elephant Spotted

It was seen by several writers for TheSpoof.com during their recovery from Tuesday's St Patrick's Day celebrations.

written by Roy Turse, 20 March 2009
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UK brings in £50 visa 'surcharge'

From now on every charge you put on your Visa card will have £50 added.

written by Roy Turse, 19 March 2009
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UK Premium Bonds Halve Their Payouts to Customers

Extensive celebrity advertising is extremely expensive, they say.

written by Roy Turse, 19 March 2009
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Millions increase their donations to Comic Relief

They want some of it spent on food for Claudia Winkleman.

written by Roy Turse, 13 March 2009
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A boy has achieved grade A in his Maths A level at the age of eight

When asked what the prime factors were regarding his achievement, he replied 2.2.2

written by Roy Turse, 13 March 2009
Showing page 3 (of 6 pages)


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