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FAA Gives Tired Controllers an Extra Hour to Rest
and all the turkey they can eat.
Airlines Rethink Retractable Roofs on Planes
after first prototype is forced to make an emergency landing in Yuma, AZ.
Libyan No Fly Zone Expanded
It now includes ticks, fleas, gnats, roaches and bed bugs.
Obama Sets February 31st Deadline for Troop Withdraw
Critics say deadline is "impossible to meet".
It Was Murder!
Republicans claim that California didn't fall into the sea. It was pushed!
New And Improved
New British Petroleum ad claims that "Gulf Coast Brown Pelicans are now even more brown!" thanks to it's efforts.
Millions Late For Work
...when man awarded key to New York City decides to sleep in.
Middle-aged white male spotted in Times Square!
Judge Issues Apology: "I'm Truly Sorry, Lord."
Admitting her mistake,the judge, covered in boils,emerged from her toad infested house and issued a public apology for banning a National Day of Prayer, during a speech in her locust-ravaged garden.
Near-sighted Man Downloads Ape by Mistake...
enraged cyber-monkey then proceeds to destroy man's house.
Bin Laden threatens Americans with Health Care Reform
Osama bin Laden threatened al Qaeda would impose health care reform on any Americans it takes prisoner if Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is put to death. The threat was met with skepticism by US officials.
Taliban Ranked Lowest in Customer Satisfaction
According to a new survey the Taliban are ranked lowest among leading terrorist organizations in customer satisfaction. Mainly due to their slow response rate on customer complaints.
Nancy Pelosi Pushes Ecology Bill
She seeks funding to restore "the swamp" in Washington.
Olympic Results: Chile Takes The Gold!
Chile Takes The Gold In the Olympic Earthquake Competition with a record 8.8. Japan squeaks past Haiti to win the Silver with 7.1. While Haiti settles for the Bronze with a 7.0.
Cease And Desist!
Sea World says it will fight federal order to stop using people as whale food.
"Growing Pains" star Kirk Cameron Arrested
"Growing Pains" star, Kirk Cameron, has been arrested by Vancouver constables while searching for his friend old friend Andrew Koenig,after he was seen asking several people if they've seen his Boner.
Toyota Email Scandal!
"The more Toyota Customers we kill, the better it will be for everyone!"
"You Damn Kids Have No Respect For Others!"
The crew of the space shuttle Endeavour has been grounded for two weeks after it was returned with dings, scratches and empty fuel tanks.
Old Accountants Never Die...
They just loose their balance.
Tiger Eats Humble Pie During Press Conference
Members of that band refuse to comment on the incident.
Tiger Woods Paid Two Women To Keep Quiet About Sex...
The rest were given autographed golf balls instead.
"Bring Me The Comfy Chair!"
The questioning of captured top Taliban militant commander Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar isn't going well. He steadfastly refuses to have anything to do with the milk and cookies being offfered him.
Fat Kids Next Great danger to the U.S.?
a new study suggests that They're big enough to block an exit and yet short enough to trip over.
Republican Response Rambling, Incoherent, Liberals Say.
"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem."
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