Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Aspartame Boy.Show all snippets.
Obama been bombin Osama Bin Ladin
Say it fast ten times.
written by Aspartame Boy, 02 May 2011
Cher Nobel prize awarded
Cher has awarded the Nobel prize to the director of the Fukushima re-actor for best script. The Cher Nobel prize was first awarded to Chernobyl.
written by Aspartame Boy, 13 April 2011
Fukushima reactors' air now 10 million times as radiactive as the sun
But, it is not a threat to human health, in the near term.. like a picosecond.
Japanese trying new tactic with reactors gone wild
"We're going to treat fire with fire. We tried salt water and fresh water. Screw it! We are switching to gasoline!", said the leader of the Fukushima 50.
is code for: "A Fruitcakes Humor"
Japanese men called on to pee into reactors
Japanese men have been asked to load up on beer and come to the reactors to pee in them, as salt water pumps are failing and hot salt water is eating way at the metal control rods.
written by Aspartame Boy, 15 March 2011
Mammouth dung key to stink shun
They stunk so bad, they became extinct cause of all the stink and the mama mammoths didn't like the daddy mammoths cause they stink like dung stink. So they shun them exstinkers.
written by Aspartame Boy, 20 November 2009
Bernanke announces top ten new ways to stimulate the economy
The number one way is to outlaw aspartame.
As old as time? Aspartame disease plagued Pharaoh's court
FDA cleared of wrongdoing as they assert that aspartame disease is actually 3700 years old.
Actors of 'Lost' and 'Prisoner' join to perform 'Lost Prisoner' on TV
The female lead wise-quacked, "I want more six".
Chinese warned against keeing US dollars
They were reminded that Federal Reserve notes are all just loans and have no cash metal value. Further, due to problems with Chinese imports, the notes have all been recalled.
IBM cat-computer goes rogue after killing a cat
Not only is the computer smarter than the cat it was tested against, the cat was killed by the cat-computer which then annoucned,
"I'M GOING ROGUE"
China hits US with pipes!
In a strange combination of protectionism, communism, and karate, the Chinese will hit the US with pipes. More at 7.
Obama to address unemployment with job tax
Work will the new bad, as it will be taxed and discouraged. Details in follow up report.
Scientists create strange particle - reality changes
Strange property of particles is spreading in entire Earth. History is changing. This was already reported prior to it happening here on TheSpoof.com.
Michael Jackson clones growing up in South America
They are up to no good there and further reports indicate American will soon live in fear of them.
NSA creates decoding algorithm that works on any message
The only problem is, it works even more purely random number sequences.
Scheme 'can cut extra emissions' - with explosives
You just blow up the equipment that is causing the emissions.
Obamba to rename war department 'Honor Killing' department
This is expected to increase tolerance in the military for all belief systems.
Pay cuts could drive out talent from bailed out too big to fails
The concern is that if they change companies, these bad executives could spread the cancer of toxic assets.
Obama to retire this year taking job as 'world"s most interesting man'
The pay is bettor, and he gets a gaggle of ladies to fawn over him while he drinks beer on TV.
US trade gap shockingly large in Semptember
Reason found by M.I.T. scientists: defective product returns increased.
Sugar water drinks targeted by FDA
Since aspartame is the most tested sweetener, and sugar has no test data from industry, sugar water drinks will be banned in favor of the well tested aspartame drinks.