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Overturning theories

Physicists are hopeful the Standard Model will be overturned soon. "Don't get me wrong," said Professor Brian Cox, "we like the model. If it's wrong though, we can apply for more research grants."

written by IainB, 18 June 2013
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Scientists urge people to drink

New research shows that if people don't get at least one drink every three days, they get 'dehydration'. "We're thinking people might need to eat too," said a scientist working on this.

written by IainB, 17 June 2013
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New Chinese Dish created

After the Giant Yellow Duck art installation popped in China a new Chinese dish has been invented: Hong Kong Flattened Duck.

written by IainB, 16 June 2013
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Beady Eye announce their next few albums

Liam Gallagher has said his new band, Beady Eye, will name their first album Be. "The next will be called Ad," said Gallagher, "then we'll have two more both called Ye. Then I'll quit in a strop."

written by IainB, 14 June 2013
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Matt Smith is to cease being the Doctor

When Matt Smith retires from the BBC's Doctor Who, his replacement will be Sanjeev Bhaskar, from the Kumars at 42. "Well," said Sanjeev, "It's to reflect proportion of Asian doctors."

written by IainB, 14 June 2013
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NHS Gagging Orders

It has been discovered that the NHS has issued gagging orders to staff. "Well, it's cheaper than anaesthetic," said the Chief Exec. "And it's just as effective at stopping patients screaming."

written by IainB, 12 June 2013
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Cross Dressing throughout history - part 2

Historians have found that short-arsed French King, Louis VI had the stiletto invented so people couldn't see he was short. They became popular in the royal court and were known as 'Court Shoes'.

written by IainB, 11 June 2013
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Unicorns keep in touch

Finally, Unicorns have got with the modern age, with a now 100% coverage of the unicorn population on Virgin Mobil. "We've had a lot of horn pierced phones returned," said Branson.

written by IainB, 10 June 2013
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Unicorn obesity problem

The unicorn obesity problem has been averted thanks to them signing up in droves to Virgin Active. "Even horny creatures need to get fit," said Richard Branson.

written by IainB, 10 June 2013
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Unicorn set to be the first mythical creature in space

A unicorn has put it's name down to go into space. "Naturally, it chose Virgin Galactic," said Richard Branson. "We're the only company with horn proof suits."

written by IainB, 10 June 2013
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Unicorn credit

High street shops are bracing themselves as Unicorns get ready to spend spend spend now that they have all signed up to Virgin credit cards. "Our best rates are for mythical creatures," said Branson.

written by IainB, 10 June 2013
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Unicorns finally take to the air

Unicorns have now followed their illustrious cousin, Pegasus, into the air. Their preferred airline is Virgin. "It must be our seats," said Richard Branson.

written by IainB, 10 June 2013
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Unicorn internet

When Unicorns want to get online, a recent survey has shown that they unanimously choose Virgin Broadband. "Great!" said Richard Branson.

written by IainB, 10 June 2013
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Unicorn train travel

Richard Branson has announced an increase of 500% of the number of unicorns travelling by Virgin Rail. "They love us," he said.

written by IainB, 10 June 2013
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Unicorn plague at Virgin Media's headquarters

Virgin Media headquarters in London have been inundated with a plague of unicorns. "They're attracted to virgins," said Branson. "And our office is the only one in London."

written by IainB, 10 June 2013
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Google Glasses require a warning

All wearers of Google glasses will be required to wear a badge in future that reads: "This conversation will be recorded for training purposes."

written by IainB, 23 May 2013
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Abbreviation Conference

Ths yrs conf on Abbrs & TxtSpk will B held at G-Mex M/c. Attnd's shd arv 30mins b4 drs open 2 Nsure a gd seat.

written by IainB, 21 May 2013
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Atos Canonised

Atos, the French company tasked with assessing Britain's disabled people has been canonised, after announcing that 30,000 previously disabled people can now walk. That's a better return than Jesus.

written by IainB, 21 May 2013
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History of Cross Dressing - part 1

Cross dressing in ancient times, before the invention of gender specific clothing, mainly involved shaving off the beard. This was considered a perversion by those who liked facial hair.

written by IainB, 16 May 2013
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Season amalgamation

With the weather set to continue cold, the British Met Office have announced plans to merge Britain's seasons into two. "These will be called 'Winter'," said Michael Fish, "and 'Green Winter'."

written by IainB, 10 May 2013
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Moyes successor named

With Moyes set to take over at United, Everton have announced his replacement, as an elderly Scot who recently announced his retirement. The fans are not happy about the appointment of Gordon Brown.

written by IainB, 10 May 2013
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Horse doping scandal

British horse racing has been shocked by a massive doping scandal at the highest levels, when it was found that Godolphin horses contained traces of steroids. Ironically...made from cows.

written by IainB, 23 April 2013
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Facebook 'Like' Patent broken by Prior Art

Facebook's patented Like button has had the patent broken when Prior Art was found. "Apparently, Tommy Cooper did it first," said Stephen Hawkins. "He said he 'Like that' and 'Not like that'."

written by IainB, 12 April 2013
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Enrolment at dance classes are up

After the news of Margaret Thatcher's death, dance lessons have had a sudden influx of former miners.

written by IainB, 08 April 2013
Showing page 3 (of 22 pages)


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