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Management To Schedule A Meeting
To reschedule an earlier meeting which had been scheduled to discuss the postponement of a previous meeting.
Devonians Blame The Cornish For Everything
"We're just pasties here!" Cornishmen protest.
Justin Bieber's Balls Drop
Flood damaged snooker table failure blamed.
Jenson Button Denies Mystery Blonde Rumours
"Nothing to do with me. Who is she anyway?"
Luka Modric Staying Put Insists Redknapp
"I've nailed his f*ckin' feet to the floor."
Torn Between Two Lovers
Wenger flummoxed as Fabregas flies to Barcelona and Nasri flies to Manchester.
Arsene Wenger's Got No Nose Claimed Refuted
He's got an effin big nose, allege West Ham fans.
Manchester City To Take Over NOTW
New fanzine format paper to be called News Of The Blues.
Vampire Nightmare Continues
Didn't wake up until almost daybreak.
Chicharito In Hiding
Over exposure blamed.
Company Floats On Stock Market
Steppins Inc promises maximum returns for minimal investment.
Football Fans Issue Advisory To Crap Journalists
"Know your subject," they say.
Man U Fans Fury
"We're not Man U - we're Manchester United."
Mystery Blonde Issues Statement
"I want to be alone."
Mystery Blonde Spotted With The Man On The Bike
Both parties deny it.
Mystery Blonde Refuses To Reveal True Identity
Says: "Wouldn't be a mystery then, would it?"
Farmer Issues Clear Message To Detractors
Git over there wit' de combine harvesters.
If Something Looks Too Good To Be True
A greedy bastard will fall for it every time.
People Who Live In Glass Houses
Buy Windolene by the gallon.
Another Bank Goes Bust
Even Jesus ain't savin' no more.
Couple Celebrate Diamond Wedding
Him in Thailand, her in Turnham Green.
21 Year Old Presented With Key Of The Door
Unaware that parents had moved house.
Magic Mushroom Loving Banker Arrested
For misappropriation of fungus.
Marathon Running Comedian Shunned
He took the joke too far.
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