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Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Earl Grey.

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Gordon Brown Accused of Throwing a Tangerine

And Peter Mandelson Gobbled a Banana

written by Earl Grey, 23 February 2010
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Hung Parliament Looms

As British public gets enough rope to hang the lot of them

written by Earl Grey, 23 February 2010
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Luftwaffe Pilots Go On Strike

Coventry residents say 'Thanks, but a little too late.'

written by Earl Grey, 22 February 2010
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Brown To Close Bullying Helpline

"We don't need this sort of thing. Staff should be working not talking to do gooders!"

written by Earl Grey, 22 February 2010
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BA Cabin Crew Announce Strike Plans

Ballot boxes will be located here and to the rear. In the event of a decision in favour of a strike placards will drop down from the overhead panel and slogans can be found in the in flight magazine.

written by Earl Grey, 22 February 2010
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Sex Hormone Trial For Head Injury

You'll still have a headache but you wont care anymore

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
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I'm Lovin It

New McBrush proves a hit with customers. As part of the meal, for an extra 50p, why not order curlers instead of fries?

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
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Schoolgirls Could Be Allowed To Swap Skirts For Trousers

If Schoolboys Agree.

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
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Mandelson "Brown is not a bully"

"He's a receiver, not a giver"

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
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Alexander Haig RIP

He will lie in the White House.

Again.

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
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Korean Shoe Thief To Get The Slipper

A thief who stole 120 pairs of shoes from a funeral is to be beaten on the backside 120 times with a slipper. "I did it because I was down at heel" claimed the poor sole. "Shoe" we say.

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
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"The best games yet" says the IOC

This is despite the death of one athlete, several serious accidents, numerous mishaps, accusations of corruption and poor weather. Splendid.

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
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"I've Never Hit Anybody" Says Brown

"I just send Prescott round to knock seven bells out of them instead"

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
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US Politician Puts 'Rapper Grip' on Condor

A US politician has angered animal rights groups by violently gripping a condor and trying to throttle the bird. Nothing like this has happened since Dubbya tried to mate with a pig.

written by Earl Grey, 20 February 2010
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"Belgians Unable To Communicate" Says Doctor

The shock medical 'breakthrough' of a Belgian who can communicate may turn out to be a false dawn, warns a Doctor. Apparently the Belgian continues to mumble into his beer about cycling.

written by Earl Grey, 20 February 2010
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UK Denies All Knowledge Of Dubai Plot

UK spokesman Moshe Rabbinowitz says "Oi vey, we don't know already!"

written by Earl Grey, 20 February 2010
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Labour Voters Have 'Submerged Optimism'

It's been submerged in a ton of shit by Brown and Darling

written by Earl Grey, 20 February 2010
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Take A Second Look At Brown

Isn't he an ugly bastard

written by Earl Grey, 20 February 2010
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Note Pinned To Simon Cowell's Door

It says "Please do not. I'm Disturbed."

written by Earl Grey, 20 February 2010
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Weightlifting Ant Wins Competition

A weightlifting ant lifted an entire man earlier today. At the presentation the man scrapped the ant of his shoe, before saying "it's what he would have wanted"

written by Earl Grey, 20 February 2010
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Dutch Government Collapses

Another heavy night on the Oranjeboom to blame

written by Earl Grey, 20 February 2010
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Tiger Woods Addicted To Sex

Thank God he isn't addicted to golf anymore

written by Earl Grey, 20 February 2010
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Woman With Penis Claims Gold At Olympics

Canadians lodge complaint about her helmet.

written by Earl Grey, 20 February 2010
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Jesus Christ Superstar

Walks Like a woman and he wears a bra, says Elton John

written by Earl Grey, 20 February 2010


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