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Government to Ban Import of Ashtrays
As from Monday, the UK government will be banning the import of ash trays.
"Blood" Rain Expected This Week
In what could be a Halloween trick or treat, blood has been forecast to rain over parts of Milton Keynes. However, many people will be expecting it in vain!
Milton Keynes Vacuum Cleaner Thief Makes Full Recovery.
A Milton Keynes man who stole a cordless vacuum cleaner by eating it was taken to hospital today. A hospital spokeswoman said that: "he is picking up well!"
Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 143
by
Oliver Sudden
Over 400 pilgrims baptised at Lourdes
More than 400 Roman Catholic pilgrims were baptised at Lourdes today when the grotto was flooded by Holy water. Some even expected it to turn into wine!
Pandas Doing Well!
A baby panda at San Diego zoo successfully passed its 1st veterinary checkup today. Meanwhile, a 2009 Fiat Panda past its 1st MOT today in a Milton Keynes garage. Both Pandas are doing well.
Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 142
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Ima L. Wett
Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 141
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Bill Jerome Home
Police fail to deal with suspected break-in at HM Treasury
A suspected break-in at HM Treasury could not be dealt with by the police because because it took 10 police officers to separate 2 cats fighting and the back of number 10! Taxpayers will pay the bill
Damien Hirst to Be Charged with Murder
The RSPCA is to charge artist, Damien Hirst with the murder of 9,000 butterflies and one Caterpillar it has been disclosed today.
European Union Win Nobel Peace Prize
… This proves that the judges in Finland have a sense of humour!
CAMERON: Sink or Swim Situation
David Cameron says that this country is facing a sink or swim situation. He is displaying brilliant leadership skills by neither wearing swimming trunks or water wings!
Jimmy Savile WAS a Serial Sex Predator
They wish to emphasise the word 'WAS' and that the public can be reassured that he is no longer doing it, since his death.
Bad Habit?
A woman dressed as a nun was caught on CCTV in a shop in America stealing several cans of beer and hiding them in her robes. She is thought to be a habitual thief.
Ganja Heaven
Ganja Heaven has been found in Bedford where an elderly couple bought a cannabis plant from a car boot sale. It grew into a massive shrub thought to be worth thousands of pounds.
What Boris Really Means When He Called David Cameron a Broom
London Mayor, Boris Johnson called David Cameron a broom saying that he sweeps up Labour's mess. What he really means is that David Cameron is related to Basil Brush… BROOM BROOM!
David Blaine Charged!
Stuntman, David Blaine has been charged for not paying the electricity bill for having 1 million faults surround his body for 72 hours. Was it all worth it?
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