Showing snippets written by Robin Berger.
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US Air Force halts printing of weekly base newspapers
Military's transition to "web-based newspapers" spells disaster for ink manufacturers and crossword puzzle makers. "We're expecting massive layoffs in those sectors," a Pentagon spokesman said...
NASCAR controversy grows
Officials levy big fines against "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" and "Flubbermobile" for spiking their fuel with illegal substances...
US military insists no plans to invade Iran
"President Bush needs time to recover from the death of Anna Nicole Smith," said a Pentagon official...
Stingray added to FBI "ten most wanted" list
"We wanted to put another polygamist on the list," an FBI spokeswoman said, "but we'll take what we can get..."
Mayor orders forced return to New Orleans
Residents now living in refugee shelters will be shoved onto a Greyhound bus and sent back to their flooded homes "so they can cook gumbo," mayor declares...
New Pope to receive "Java Ring of the Fisherman"
Vatican's webmaster describes biometric authentication device as an "upgrade" to traditional pontificate symbol of power. "It will protect the new Holy Father against identity theft..."
Mars meteorite confirmed; NASA to sell it on eBay
After NASA's "Opportunity" rover found a meteorite on Mars, the space agency said it would auction the rock to pay for Hubble telescope repairs. "We'll ship it to the buyer directly from Mars..."
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