Spoof Snippets
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The Astounding Planet Mercury
After years of extensive studies, scientists report that the planet Mercury is actually made up of 71 percent mercury.
A Ketchup Recall
The Big Red Mater Ketchup Company, which is based in Atlanta, is recalling over 800,000 bottles of ketchup due to the fact that they may contain slight traces of mustard.
Minnesota Teacher Fired For Drawing Pornographic Stick People
Lola Belle Prinski, a St. Paul, Minnesota teacher stated she was just trying to visually demonstrate to her second graders the art of safe sex.
The State of Ohio Is Not Happy
The state of Ohio has just announced that it has just passed a law that anyone who is photographed smiling in their police mug shot will be fined $700.
Where Oh Where Is The $700 Million?
The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development announced that it is missing $700 million from the Katrina Fund. Reports are that the money was filtered into a state mosquito spraying account.
Kendra Wilkinson Quits "Splash"
The reality TV show star said that the reason why she refused to dive was because of the "Don't Go Swimming, If You've Eaten Within The Hour" rule.
Ted Nugent Will Be The Opening Act For a 60's Revival Concert of The Mamas and The Papas
Promoters are calling the event Guns and Roses.
Fired Rutger's Basketball Coach May Get A One-Way Ticket
Comedian Zydeco Dupree has said that if ex-Rutgers Coach Mike "The Punk" Rice has so much anger and hostility perhaps he needs to be shipped over to North Korea.
Mayor Bloomberg Strikes A Positive Blow For The Hookers
New York Mayor Bloomberg says that in order to avoid the obvious negative connotations he is issuing a directive prohibiting the use of the word street walker and replacing it with pavement princess.
Same Sex Marriages: Six of One, Half Dozen of The Other
Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona says she is against same-sex marriages, especially if it is between two men or two women.
Kim Jong Un Is Mad At Le France
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is angry at France and vows to launch a missile towards the Eiffel Tower.
Punxsutawney Phil and Jay Leno Are In The Same Boat
Punxsutawney Phil, getting up in age, will most likely be replaced in 2014, by Punxsutawney Phyllis.
Nazi Stuff Is A "No No"
The city of Miami Beach has just banned all Nazi memorabilia. One very unhappy Nazi memorabilia shop owner says he will be moving to Arizona.
Kim Jong Un Says He Fears Nothing
Scientist report that a meteor the size of Milwaukee is heading towards North Korea. Kim Jong Un says he will shoot the Solar System infidel down with one of his missiles.
The Skeeter Bite Is Gonna Hurt Like The Dickens
A Louisiana game warden has reported finding a mosquito in a bayou near New Orleans that weighs 3 pounds.
What The Hell Is That Smell?
A scientific research center in Flagstaff, Arizona has been fined by the U.S. government for cloning skunks.
The Wisconsin Bar Code Mystery
Wisconsin has just passed a law banning all bar codes. State senators refused to comment as to why.
The Fringe Benefit of A Tubal Ligation
A gynecologist in California is now offering his patients a free iPad with each tubal ligation.
News Regarding The War Between The States
President Obama proudly announced today that the United States has made the final payment on the loan it took out in 1861 to help pay for the American Civil War.
Pat Robertson Condemns The New England Patriots
Pat Robertson said that the New England Patriots will go to hell for letting Wes Welker leave. Pats coach Bill Belichick said "Good, I'll kick the damn devil and record the whole damn thing to boot."
Lindsay Lohan Will Not Be Firing Her Lawyer
Lindsay Lohan has been advised by her close friends and family to fire her attorney, but she says that she will keep him because he works for the amazing fee of $19 an hour.
Arizona Passes A Crazy Law
Arizona has just announced that it has passed a bill prohibiting any one in the state from using the term Praying Mantis.
Ah, The Land of Cotton
Mississippi has just banned the photoshopping of cotton. No reason was given.
It's Adios and Goodbye To Chuck E. Cheese
In the interest of gender equality, the Chuck E. Cheese Corporation has just announced that the company mascot Chuck E. Cheese will have sexual reassignment surgery and become Chelsea E. Cheese.
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