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Messi claims fourth Ballon d'Or
Ronaldo is said be "very sad" to miss out although his expected huge pay day from LA Galaxy will cheer him up.
Detective 'offered leaks for cash'
The Chief Superintendent has claimed in court that the 'leeks' she offered to 'The New of the World' were an effort to help her husbands new organic vegetable business and not anything else.
Coalition to go the distance, Cameron and Clegg insist
Although many in the country are hoping for a knock out blow before the end of the third.
Ring Binder sues Owner
The binder decided to sue after it was forced to contain lists of women by former Presidential candidate Mitt Romney.
Cat Busted for Smuggling Contraband
Prison Officers first became suspicious after a 6'8 man convicted of assault with intent to harm attempted to claim that a pink fluffy mouse found during a routine search was his.
Jim Davidson arrested by the Met.
The 59 year old man has been arrested for taking money under false pretenses on numerous occasions dating back 1976. Mr Davidson is said to have mislead the public by calling himself a comedian.
Get ready for Comic Relief 2013
Everyone is urged to put on a red nose and do something stupid. In other words to do exactly what George Osbourne does everyday.
Beiber in new relationship
After splitting from his long term girlfriend Selena Gomez pop sensation was spotted out with New York Jets flop Tim Tebow.
Henning Berg sacked by Blackburn
The spiraling out of control club are set to appoint two locals to take over at Ewood Park. Sooty and Sweep.
Sheepskin wearing monkey bookies new favorite.
A monkey named Darwin who was spotted shopping at Ikea in Toronto is the new favorite to be the next Chelsea manager. "In that sheepskin coat he looks a bit like John Motson" A Chelsea fan said.
Cameron backs Gay Marriage in Church.
However the Prime Minister is not sure if he should marry Nick Clegg, Nigel Farage or Boris Johnson in a grim attempt to hold on to power for as long as he possibly can.
Max Clifford arrested on Sex Charges
The only person who was the least bit surprised at this headline has been Max Clifford himself.
Prince Philip puts his foot in it again
"A slightly unconventional way to stop Kate vomiting but effective all the same." a nurse told an Australian radio host who was pretending to be Prince Charles.
Paddy Power are already offering odds on Royal Baby name.
While Elizabeth and Diana are out right favorites for girls one punter has placed a 100-30 bet on the new baby being a future King named Kong.
Chelsea Deny Royal Link.
Chelsea Football Club this evening issued a denial after reports linked them with a deal to make The Duchess of Cambridge's unborn baby their new interim manager.
UK ambassador recalled from Israel
David Cameron recalled the UK's ambassador from Tel Aviv today. Ambassador Matthew Gould is now the bookies favorite to become the next Chelsea manager.
McElroy does what Tebow can't
World golf number one Rory McElroy made a surprise appearance for the New York Jets. He threw clean passes and led the team to a win. Something Tim Tebow has never managed in a Jets uniform.
Lady Gaga shaves head
Lady Gaga has appeared totally nude on TV in Australia not only sans clothes but completely without hair from tip to toe. The singer said that she will not dress of cut her hair for five years.
Wenger and Benítez swap jobs.
After Chelsea lost to West ham and Arsenal lost to Swansea the two teams decided to swap managers. Rafael Benítez will take charge at Arsenal and Arsene Wenger will take over at Chelsea from Monday.
Gary Glitter to release Christmas Single
Disgraced seventies pop star Gary Glitter will release a Christmas single. He will release a cover of a song from the musical 'Gigi' 'Thank Heaven for Little Girls."
Atherton to follow in Flintoff's footsteps.
Former England cricket captain Michael Atherton is to follow in the footsteps of Andrew Flintoff and switch sports. Atherton will take part in a ChessBox match in Amsterdam next moth.
Lord McAlpine changes Christmas costume
Lord McAlpine had been due to attend the Tory Xmas do dressed as Krampus. The German apposite of Santa who abducts children and beats them with sticks. He has swapped this for a Gary Glitter costume.
Cameron clear on Leveson
"I understand the recommendations that Leveson proposes and I will do exactly what Mr Murdoch tells me to do." the Prime Minister said yesterday.
Channel Four to screen controversial Christmas Message
Channel Four will screen a Christmas message recorded by Sir Jimmy Savile in 2002 at 3pm Christmas Day. It was originally recoded to be their alternative to the Queen but Sharon Osbourne's went out.
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