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U.S. Digs Through Bin Laden's Stuff
As the US looks through the most wanted man in the world's things, they discover an IKEA catalogue as well as all four Twilight books.
Stocks in Hats Soar
After the Royal wedding stocks in hats have gone through the roof. Except, that is, cowboys hats, golf visors and the Jewish kippah.
Young American Disses Friends
In anticipation of the Royal wedding, a young American blows off all of her friends because they aren't British enough."
Linguist Riddle Solved
Scientists reveal the quickest was for you ro learn another language fluently is to just be born in another country.
Ellie James gets Hailed on
Spoof reporter, Ellie James, gets caught in hailstorm days after making fun of Texas Governor Rick Perry and his stupid pray for rain proclamation. "Hope my car is ok," she wonders.
Americans Go Comando
As underwear sales rise, Americans go comando. Mothers throughout America fret about what paremedics would think in case of an accident.
A Tarnished Pope
Pope John Paul II's tarnish expected to come off with baking soda and water.
The Dallas Cowboys Prepare for Bowl
The Dallas Cowboys prepare for a different kind of bowl by opening the roof and adding 2% milk.
Birthers Demand Birth Certificate of Disney's Prince Naveen
Prince Naveen, from Disney's Princess and the Frog is the latest Disney Prince being harassed to provide a birth certificate. Naveen states that being a frog had less controversy.
Latest Gallup Poll Picks Omerosa as Trump's Running Mate
Omerosa, the gal from the Apprentice that everyone loves to hate, is the person America wants to see as Trump's running mate if he gets the GOP nod.
FAA Rejects Efforts to Address Pilot Fatigue
The FAA rejected efforts to address fatigue. Not because they didn't want to address it; they were tired and fell alseep.
Texans Favor Sesession
Polls report vast majority of Texans favor sesession from the United States so that they can finally become political refugees and move to Seattle, Washington.
Homeless man's networth decreases from $4000 to $400 in moments
Upon hearing that Donald Trump's networth is whatever he feels like it being, a homeless man decides his networh is whatever he feels like it to be as well. At the moment, his networth is $400.00.
President Unphased by Declining Approval Ratings
US President Barack Obama shrugs off his declining approval ratings and eats some Easter Peeps.
Raisins Appeal to Higher Court Today
Raisins demand same flight status as peanuts.
Apple's Secret Weapon Revealed
Secretive Steve Jobs reveals that Apple's secret strategy is simple: pears.
Mom Loses it over The Wiggles
A 22 year old mother of 3 locks herself in room and refuses to come out of her room. "If I have to listen to Fruit Salad Yummy Yummy again I'll go crazy!"
US says Goodbye to Color Coded Terror Alerts
As the US phases out color coded terror alerts, American citizens must get used to the new way. Homeland security officials plan on just driving around and yelling in a megaphone.
President Bush likes Ribs
President George W. Bush was seen eating ribs at Babe's Chicken Dinner House in Roanoke, Texas. At the urging of his wife, he ordered the Chicken Salad Sandwhich instead of the ribs he really wanted.
California Lawmakers hang out in Texas
California and Texas Lawmakers were seen hanging out at Saxon Pub on 6th Street in Austin with Governor Rick Perry eating brownies and pretending to be dancers from Dancing with the Stars.
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