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Showing snippets written by Ellie James.


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U.S. Digs Through Bin Laden's Stuff

As the US looks through the most wanted man in the world's things, they discover an IKEA catalogue as well as all four Twilight books.

written by Ellie James, 03 May 2011
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Stocks in Hats Soar

After the Royal wedding stocks in hats have gone through the roof. Except, that is, cowboys hats, golf visors and the Jewish kippah.

written by Ellie James, 29 April 2011
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Young American Disses Friends

In anticipation of the Royal wedding, a young American blows off all of her friends because they aren't British enough."

written by Ellie James, 29 April 2011
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Linguist Riddle Solved

Scientists reveal the quickest was for you ro learn another language fluently is to just be born in another country.

written by Ellie James, 28 April 2011
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Ellie James gets Hailed on

Spoof reporter, Ellie James, gets caught in hailstorm days after making fun of Texas Governor Rick Perry and his stupid pray for rain proclamation. "Hope my car is ok," she wonders.

written by Ellie James, 27 April 2011
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Americans Go Comando

As underwear sales rise, Americans go comando. Mothers throughout America fret about what paremedics would think in case of an accident.

written by Ellie James, 27 April 2011
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A Tarnished Pope

Pope John Paul II's tarnish expected to come off with baking soda and water.

written by Ellie James, 27 April 2011
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The Dallas Cowboys Prepare for Bowl

The Dallas Cowboys prepare for a different kind of bowl by opening the roof and adding 2% milk.

written by Ellie James, 27 April 2011
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Birthers Demand Birth Certificate of Disney's Prince Naveen

Prince Naveen, from Disney's Princess and the Frog is the latest Disney Prince being harassed to provide a birth certificate. Naveen states that being a frog had less controversy.

written by Ellie James, 27 April 2011
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Latest Gallup Poll Picks Omerosa as Trump's Running Mate

Omerosa, the gal from the Apprentice that everyone loves to hate, is the person America wants to see as Trump's running mate if he gets the GOP nod.

written by Ellie James, 27 April 2011
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FAA Rejects Efforts to Address Pilot Fatigue

The FAA rejected efforts to address fatigue. Not because they didn't want to address it; they were tired and fell alseep.

written by Ellie James, 25 April 2011
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Texans Favor Sesession

Polls report vast majority of Texans favor sesession from the United States so that they can finally become political refugees and move to Seattle, Washington.

written by Ellie James, 25 April 2011
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Homeless man's networth decreases from $4000 to $400 in moments

Upon hearing that Donald Trump's networth is whatever he feels like it being, a homeless man decides his networh is whatever he feels like it to be as well. At the moment, his networth is $400.00.

written by Ellie James, 25 April 2011
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President Unphased by Declining Approval Ratings

US President Barack Obama shrugs off his declining approval ratings and eats some Easter Peeps.

written by Ellie James, 22 April 2011
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Raisins Appeal to Higher Court Today

Raisins demand same flight status as peanuts.

written by Ellie James, 22 April 2011
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Apple's Secret Weapon Revealed

Secretive Steve Jobs reveals that Apple's secret strategy is simple: pears.

written by Ellie James, 22 April 2011
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Mom Loses it over The Wiggles

A 22 year old mother of 3 locks herself in room and refuses to come out of her room. "If I have to listen to Fruit Salad Yummy Yummy again I'll go crazy!"

written by Ellie James, 21 April 2011
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US says Goodbye to Color Coded Terror Alerts

As the US phases out color coded terror alerts, American citizens must get used to the new way. Homeland security officials plan on just driving around and yelling in a megaphone.

written by Ellie James, 21 April 2011
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President Bush likes Ribs

President George W. Bush was seen eating ribs at Babe's Chicken Dinner House in Roanoke, Texas. At the urging of his wife, he ordered the Chicken Salad Sandwhich instead of the ribs he really wanted.

written by Ellie James, 20 April 2011
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California Lawmakers hang out in Texas

California and Texas Lawmakers were seen hanging out at Saxon Pub on 6th Street in Austin with Governor Rick Perry eating brownies and pretending to be dancers from Dancing with the Stars.

written by Ellie James, 16 April 2011
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