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Bloomberg Presses for Action on Bakery Rules

A day after an appeals court rejected his ban on sugary drinks larger than 16 ounces, Mayor Bloomberg announced that he will seek to outlaw jelly donuts.

written by Moose, 20 August 2013
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Obama Favours Cupboard Reorganisation

WASHINGTON, DC - In an effort to maximise control of gouvernment, feel more European and minimise Amerika, the Obama administration is proposing reorganising his cupboard.

written by Moose, 20 August 2013
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Leno, Letterman, Fallon and O'Brien to Leave Late-Night if Weiner Loses

Late night television hosts, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Jimmy Fallon and Conan Obrien have announced they will step down if Anthony Weiner does not win his bid to become Mayor of New York City.

written by Moose, 15 August 2013
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Cory Booker wins Democrat primary, reveals he groped female, then announces run for NYC Mayor

Corry Booker, Mayor of Newark, announced today that he had groped a female friend, and that put's him in a position to run for New York City Mayor.

written by Moose, 14 August 2013
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Mike Tyson Jumps Into New York City Mayoral Race

Shortly after being named "Power Player of the Week" by Fox News's Mike Wallace, Mike Tyson announced that he will be jumping into the New York City Mayoral Race.

written by Moose, 14 August 2013
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President pledges new limits on press

President Obama called Friday for greater control and more oversight of America's extensive press, including newspapers, websites and Costco flyers.

written by Moose, 14 August 2013
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Weiner Support Droops as Mike Tyson Takes Lead in NYC Mayoral Race

The polls have a new leader as Weiner support softened. Former undisputed heavyweight boxing champion and convicted rapist, Mike Tyson, has taken the lead in the Democrat primary.

written by Moose, 13 August 2013
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Tesla Motors founder details futuristic 'Catastropult' system

SAN JOSE, CA - Tesla Motors and Paypal founder Elon Musk unveiled his "Catastropult" system today, detailing a catapult that would toss people from Los Angeles to San Francisco in 1/2 hour, or so...

written by Moose, 13 August 2013
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Al Sharpton Calls For Boycott of Blackberry Products

WASHINGTON, DC - Democrat Activist, MSNBC host and part-time clown Al Sharpton has called for a boycott of all Blackberry products.

written by Moose, 13 August 2013
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Biden considers possible 2024 bid

WASHINGTON, DC - Vice President Joe Biden may run for President in 2024, or he may be dead. But he wants you to know he might, or might not.

written by Moose, 13 August 2013
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Apple to Launch iBone

Apple will reveal its next big thing, the iBone on September 13. Apple CEO Timothy D. Cook said "We are looking forward to giving MyRobot's newly released Splooj® stiff competition.

written by Moose, 12 August 2013
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NYPD Frisk-Grope-and-Fondle Tactic Violates Rights: Judge

A federal judge has ordered an independent agency to oversee reforms to the NYC PD's frisk-grope-and-fondle practice after ruling the polarizing practice violated the United States Constitution.

written by Moose, 12 August 2013
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Massive Mobility Scooter Pileup Injures 10 Seniors

THE VILLAGES, FL - Police are investigating a 41-mobility scooter pileup in The Villages that injured at least 10 seniors.

The cause of the pileup remains under investigation.

written by Moose, 12 August 2013
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New Jitterbug to hit market

THE VILLAGES, FL - Greatcall will release the new Jitterbug Delta, which includes features that many seniors have been demanding, including automatic repeating of all calls and messages.

written by Moose, 12 August 2013
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AG Holder to outline new whisle-blower sentencing guidelines

WASHINGTON, DC - The Justice Department plans to change how it prosecutes whistle-blowers, so they would no longer face mandatory death sentences.

written by Moose, 12 August 2013
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Carlos Danger Files Suit Against Anthony Weiner

TALLAHASSEE, FL - State inmate, Carlos Danger, has filed suit against Anthony Weiner for defamation of character. Danger has been imprisoned since 1995 for lewd and lascivious behavior.

written by Moose, 25 July 2013
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NTSB: No sign of any problems on Asiana 214

NTSB Chief Mi Hung Lo issued a statement today that nothing wong was found after the crash of Asiana flight 214 and the plane will continue on a return flight to its point of origination in Long Dong.

written by Moose, 18 July 2013
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Meg Whitman Calls Jerry Brown a Gigolo

Jerry Brown, called his opponent, Meg Whitman a "F*cking Whore".

In response, Meg Whitman countered that Jerry Brown was "a God-Damned C*cksucking Gigolo".

written by Moose, 12 October 2010
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C-SPAN to Launch Two Comedy Networks - C-SPIN and C-SPUN

WASHINGTON, DC - Landel Hobbs, Chairman of C-SPAN, announced today that the company would be launching two comedy channels, C-SPIN and C-SPUN.

written by Moose, 24 September 2010
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Elmo Caught Upskirting Katy Perry on Sesame Street

HOLLYWOOD, CA - After the Katy Perry video was pulled from Sesame St., it was discovered that Elmo had secretly upskirted Katy with his cell-phone during the taping and uploaded the video to YouToob.

written by Moose, 24 September 2010
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Democrats Throw Barney Frank Under the Anti-Gay Bus

In an effort to regain traction in the upcoming midterm elections, Congressional Democrats threw Congressman Barney Frank under the Anti-Gay Bus, driven by Republican Senator Saxby Chambliss.

written by Moose, 24 September 2010
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Wienerschnitzel Pays College Men for Ad Space on Crotches

Owner of Wienerschnitzel John Galardi announced today that the fast-food company will begin paying college students $1,000 each to wear Speedos with slogans emblazoned across the crotch.

written by Moose, 23 September 2010
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F**king War of Words Breaks Out in God-Damned White House

A new book by legendary Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward paints Richard Holbrooke as "the most egotistical bastard I've ever met.", according to Vice President Joe Biden.

written by Moose, 22 September 2010
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Devil Rejects Ted Kennedy's Soul

HADES, HL - Lucifer held a press conference Tuesday afternoon to announce his decision regarding Ted Kennedy's application for residence.

written by Moose, 21 September 2010
Showing page 3 (of 5 pages)


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