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The writing is on the wall
Cave art dating back 40,000 million years discovered......'Dave is a wanker!'
One Night in Bagdad.
Andrew Lloyd Webbers new musical 'Bagdad Exodus' opening soon.."A blast"..Guardian...."I was blown away"...D Mirror..."Left me shell shocked"...D Mail..."Heavenly"...The Sun..."My 48DD hell"...D Sport
New Tesco CEO Dave 'alright Rodney' Lewis announces new Tesco in-store Panto 'Feet On The Floor' wherein 4,000 useless HQ & Corporate staff will work on shop floors to boost morale....every Lidl helps
A voice in the wilderness.
Oh dear, are they about to get their hooks into the 'Peter Pan' of pop I wonder?
German supermarket chain Aldi report massive ongoing profits.....multiple gunshots heard at Tesco HQ.
Brother wherefore art thou ?
George Clooney ties the knot in Venice......leaves suicide note.
Every rip-off helps.
Tesco Suspends Bosses Over £250m Profit Error.......after years of fiddling the public with inflated prices they are now fiddling themselves!
'ello 'ello, anyone there?
Phones4U have finally hung up.
"Make my day punk!"
Dirty Harry strikes again, Kate up the duff with Damien 2.
"'Ello, 'Ello I'm Johnny Cash"
Dyslexic Home Office Minister sends copy of Ring of Fire to Calais by mistake.
Joan Rivers is dead...
....again! Her agent is negotiating a cameo role in The Walking Dead.
Chain, Chain, Chains!
Operation Yewtree officers investigating discovery of three old ladies found locked in the lavatory in Yeovil circa 1937!
25 Things you probably didn't know about Dickie Attenborough
1."He is no more", "has ceased to be", "bereft of life, he rests in peace"..............more, much later.
"Don't call me Dick!"
According to reaserchers pressures made Richard III 'Hit The Booze',"to right, he also enjoyed the odd 'spliff', deep fried Mars Bars and Breaking Bad! Mind you, he was total shit a parallel parking!"
A national sperm bank is to be set up to meet increasing demand and a UK-wide shortage......Wankers-R-Us.
Four more perverts discovered in Venessa's pants........."no wonder I have felt so uncomfortable all these years!"
Man up punk!
Bill & Ben arrested by Operation Yewtree following bullying complaints from 'Little Weed'
......."balls to you to fella!"
"Come on Andy Murray, bite the bastard!"
...Jim will crucifix it!
Jimmy Savile exposed as clandestine Catholic Priest!
.........."you want chips with that Senor?"
Hollywood moguls wooing Suarez to star in The Hunger Games:4
Ease up on the KY
Jogger found dead after 'sliding' off Cliff, "I had assumed he was over 16 croaked and elderly Mr Richard.
Every little firearm helps!
ISIS may have recruited 1,500 Britains'....good hours, casual easy-clean uniforms, free meals, long holidays in the sun and the chicks are free.....beats Tesco!
Makin' da offer capisce.
Pope denounces 'evil' crime syndicate......disbands Catholic church!
Balls to this!
Hodgson to keep job as England manager until Bruce Forsyth becomes available, lets face it his footwork is legendary.
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