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Showing snippets written by Auntie Matter.


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"Just Not Good Enough"

Concerning a government proposal to fund The Victims of Verbal Abuse Assoc. a spokesman for the group replied:
"This is just not good enough. Fuck off!"

written by Auntie Matter, 05 October 2016
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Vimeo Under Threat

Homosexual photographers focusing on female asses entirely will no longer be permitted. Also taboo are bimbos smoking, sporting tattoos or showing any other signs of come-on physical self-abuse.

written by Auntie Matter, 01 October 2016
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The Soda Pop Awards Ceremony

The Gala event in New York had many reps in attendance, all in tux and gowns.
The winner went to "U-R-Lifesi", a new kid on the block that boasted no less than 195 chemicals in its composition.

written by Auntie Matter, 01 October 2016
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"Idiot-Expert"... New US TV Show Big Hit.

Excerpt.
Expert: Let's make the world a better place.
Idiot: Maybe if we stop fighting...
Expert: Science rules. Too many ugly, stupid people. Evolution. New World Order.
Idiot: Why not let it be?

written by Auntie Matter, 01 October 2016
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Sinn Fein Northern Ireland

N.Ire. Political Party Sinn Fein (means "We Ourselves Alone") are seeking funding for Sinn Fein in the wake of the Brexit vote. Anyone that has any money please contact Sinn Fein and give it to them.

written by Auntie Matter, 13 September 2016
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Family Relations

Working class families are "incestuous".
Middle class families are "closely knit".
Ruling class families are "firmly tied".

written by Auntie Matter, 13 September 2016
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Man Arrested Outside White House

WASHINGTON: A man,thought by many to be a human being, was today arrested outside the White House. Said arresting officer Chuck Braine: "No human beings allowed in here, only elected representatives."

written by Auntie Matter, 11 September 2016
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New Google Mail

The new Email is faster and more reliable than ever!
Please enter:
1. Profession.
2. Credit card number.
3. Politics.
4. Annual income.
5. Religion.
6. Favourite authors/music/movies.
7. Blood group.

written by Auntie Matter, 11 September 2016
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Bush's Press Secretary Shares Glory

Ari Fleischer who only today released six pages of notes that he made describing President George W. Bush's reaction to hearing of 9/11 has been nominated for the Pullitzer Prize for fiction 2017.

written by Auntie Matter, 10 September 2016
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Blessed Virgin Appears In Ireland

Killybegs Donegal; The Virgin Mary has appeared to three schoolgirls in an orchard. She spoke to them for hours. When asked what She said, the eldest replied:
"Couldn't understand a friggin' word."

written by Auntie Matter, 10 September 2016
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Cure at Last!

Atomosophobia is the fear of atomic explosions.
"Exposure to the fear is the only real cure", says the NWO Royal Psychiatric Commission on The Prevention of Sanity.

written by Auntie Matter, 09 September 2016
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Worse Than Cancer

A disease worse than cancer is spreading worldwide. It is called the THEORY OF EVOLUTION taught as 'fact' to our children at school on behalf of the NWO.

written by Auntie Matter, 09 September 2016
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BBC 'NEWS'

"A police officer was attacked in Paris yesterday with a knife. Injuries not life threatening."
FACTS: There were 573 murders in the UK in 2015 and 100,000+ cases of violent assault including rape.

written by Auntie Matter, 09 September 2016
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Church Progress

The Catholic Church is to scrap the CONFIRMATION RITE whereby teenage kids are rechristened "Warriors for Christ". "Don't want Muslims to get the wrong idea," explained the Pope.

written by Auntie Matter, 08 September 2016
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Music Industry Announcement

"We no longer require individual creative expression in music... we have our wannabes, our market researchers... and our computers. Now, all artists, please listen, get wise...fu%#Kk off!

written by Auntie Matter, 08 September 2016
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Gender 'Stereotypes'

In a bid to trash gender stereotyping a video showing men having babies has gone viral.

written by Auntie Matter, 07 September 2016
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High Quality Printer

New high quality computer printer released. To ensure you have "optimum quality" it will print five test pages in full colour every time you start it up ensuring to have to buy more ink asp.

written by Auntie Matter, 07 September 2016
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NWO AGENDA

Our mission .. to so confuse the sheeple that they will believe black is white and white is black. Our means for achieving this?... TELEVISION.

written by Auntie Matter, 07 September 2016
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BBC - Hollywood

Warner Bros of Hollywood are in negotiations with the British Parliament to take over the BBC on behalf of the Obama administration.

written by Auntie Matter, 06 September 2016
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Dead Sea Scrolls Revelation

During the Satanic ritual of his crucifixion Jesus cried out to the assembled throng;
"Father forgive them for they know not what they do."
"Get over yourself Jesus!" came the response.

written by Auntie Matter, 04 September 2016
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Archaeological Sensation

An ancient legal document has been found outside Jerusalem. It cites the Sanhedrin indictment against "...the man Jesus Christ. He refused to turn to God and ask forgiveness for his blasphemy."

written by Auntie Matter, 04 September 2016
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Rosslyn Chapel

Rosslyn Chapel is to be excavated. "If the Knights Templar's treasure looted from Solomon's temple is buried there this is a matter of global concern. To hell with Scottish tourism!", said Dr. Hamish.

written by Auntie Matter, 02 September 2016
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Rowling and the Burkini

The Daily Telegraph... "J.K.Rowling posted "an hilarious Tweet" on the French burkini ban.
"Boo!", she said.
"Is there no limit to this woman's brilliance?"
Next Potter book now on sale.

written by Auntie Matter, 28 August 2016
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Savile Inquiry

Sir Hiram Pike, ppokesman for the Savile Inquiry, has announced;
"We are hoping to drag the case on for another five years to give distinguished suspects every chance to die off."

written by Auntie Matter, 28 August 2016
Showing page 3 (of 18 pages)


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