Showing snippets written by Auntie Matter.
Show all snippets.
History of the Computer
1. First Service Provider = The Jesuit Order.
2. First Information Gathering Device = The Confessional.
3. First External Hard Drive = The Confessor.
What Made Muhammad Ali Different?
He lived under a system based on FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
Nowadays, a Muhammad Ali or a William Shakespeare would be an impossibility. Computerized Fascism rules.
Progress in Education
USA: Pre-schools are to have free psychotherapy.
New Sex 'Identity' Available
Yes folks, by popular demand it is here "THE SUPERTRANS". Now you can be straight on Monday, Gay on Tuesday, both on Wednesday, and a baboon on Thursday. Soon available on all school curriculums.
How Does the New World Order Work?
They give you power so that they can use you.
Political power, money power, media power, legal power etc.
THEY control the people you've been conditioned to believe are in control. They are not.
NWO Soon to Announce Victory.
The New World Order is soon to announce the achievement of its 3 aims.
(1). Evidence or the lack of it means nothing.
(2). Male is female and female is male.
(3). All sheeple are deaf, dumb and blind.
Obama's New Executive Order 13605
"The law of Cause and Effect can no longer be applied to political decision making. In its place we have established The "Law of Acausal Happenstance". This will henceforth inform our foreign policy.
"The Screecher"...Coming to a Lawn Near You
"The Screecher", the loudest lawnmower yet, has arrived. Is a typhoon? Is it a low flying bomber? A crew drilling for oil? No! It is the idiot next door doing his lawn. And he won't go to jail either!
Who ARE The "Illuminati"?
Any nutter who believes that he/she has a God-given right to work on people's minds and lives for their own purposes. Politicians, bankers, scientists, media dudes etc. They like to hang out together.
Children's Mental Health Crisis.
UK: Government says;"We are spending too much money on children's mental health."
True. Psychosis, anorexia, gender confusion, depression,.. escalating.
Suggestion: Why don't we stop driving them MAD?
First Robotic Homicide
Tokyo: An elderly businessman has been strangled by his housekeeper Robot. ""Matilda" simpry malfunction," explained the maker. "We not know why. Mr. Maki should have asked for character reference."
Suicide Bombers and Alkies
Psychiatrists at the Mind Control Tavistock Institute, London have found close link between suicide bombers and alcoholics. For both, DEATH is the most important thing in life.
Obama in Hiroshima
Mr. President saying all the 'right' things.
"Death fell from the sky.", said he.
Never rains but it pours, eh?
Drug Athletes Protest
23 athletes who tested positive for drugs in London's 2012 Olympics have called for the House of Commons to be drug tested regularly. "No competitive sport should be exempt", said their spokesman.
New Oscars Category
For the 2017 Hollywood Oscars, there will be a new category..."THE BEST MOVIE CLIP OF ALL TIME".
Nominations from "Casablanca", "High Noon" etc are in; but hot fav is Bond being chipped in Spectre.
Gender Bending Marches On
The gender-bending agenda underpinning the NWO's drive for total sheeple mind control has taken a deadly turn. All US college students must now wear the same uniform... a short skirt over long pants.
"Bond... James Bond... but you can call me "Sheila"".
As part of the general "gender confusion" aimed at the young and being vigorously promoted at every level by the NWO's 'Gay' lobby the next James Bond will be a bi-sexual transvestite.
Soldiers Given Anti-Malaria Drugs
UK:Anti-Malaria drug LARIAM given to soldiers produces panic attacks, hallucinations and mental impairment. Ministers suggest it be given to troops BEFORE they are sent abroad, not afterwards.
Jeff Koon's Controversial 'Piece'
A show of Jeff Koons' work now in London boasts a giant sculpture of his own pooh. Critics say:
(3). "Very DuChamp".
(4). "Speaks volumes".
(5). "A load of shite".
Barack Obama To Be Crowned Emperor
Obama is to be crowned First Emperor of the New World Order at a special ceremony conducted by Pope Francis at the Vatican Basilica this August 4th, his birthday.
Obama's New Executive Order 13604
Congress is no longer empowered to pass laws.
Ego Mania at its Best
The only person smarter than "Bill Clinton" is 'Bill Clinton'.
Secret of Rapid Ageing Revealed.
LONDON: Scientists at the Tavistock Inst. have discovered that "rapid ageing" is directly caused by being timed while getting old.
Woman Thought to Have Been Dead is Found.
lONDON. A Woman thought to have been dead for over fifty years was yesterday discovered by her husband.
"I woke up... and there she was... lying beside me," said he."
Send To A Friend
Send this site to a friend!
RSS & Feeds
The Spoof is proud to present all its stories as RSS Feeds.
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!