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Showing snippets written by ExiledRoyal.


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Showing page 3 (of 9 pages)
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Number of alcoholics needed to change a lightbulb

One... Okay, just one more... Maybe a third to be social...May as well make it a few more now I've missed the last bus...

written by ExiledRoyal, 02 December 2012
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Glaswegian Advent Calendars go on sale

Behind every door, a Paracetamol

written by ExiledRoyal, 02 December 2012
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Shock find in McD's

Chip found in the salt

written by ExiledRoyal, 30 November 2012
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Christmas Countdown

Only 3 more Chelsea managers to go

written by ExiledRoyal, 30 November 2012
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The little things that make Christmas

Thai kids in Sweatshops for example

written by ExiledRoyal, 29 November 2012
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Cure for ADHD found

A f***ing good smack round the head

written by ExiledRoyal, 29 November 2012
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Lucky escape by man at Justin Bieber concert

Scaffolding collapsed and killed him before the concert started

written by ExiledRoyal, 29 November 2012
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Advice for men with fat wives

Save money by putting an energy-saving lightbulb in the fridge

written by ExiledRoyal, 29 November 2012
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Germany moves to ban bestiality

Massive bovine exodus to Austria predicted

written by ExiledRoyal, 29 November 2012
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New 'Twilight' movie opening ruined by woman talking through it

Kristen Stewart I think her name was.

written by ExiledRoyal, 29 November 2012
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Mitt Romney spent $800m on not becoming president of the USA.

I spent 65p and got the same result, except I have a Mars Bar.

written by ExiledRoyal, 29 November 2012
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Paul Gascoigne sober for 32 days...

... since the age of 15

written by ExiledRoyal, 25 November 2012
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"My name is...." "My name is...." "My name is...."

Alzhiemers Eminem tribute act leaves punters confused

written by ExiledRoyal, 25 November 2012
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New Oxford Thesaurus is terrible

It is also terrible

written by ExiledRoyal, 25 November 2012
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Lost: Pitbull with three legs

Answers to the name of Fluffy. Family distraught.

Legs belong to wife and eldest daughter.

written by ExiledRoyal, 23 November 2012
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McAlpine cashes in

Following ITV's payment of £125k for naming him as a paedophile, Lord McAlpine is now seeking a further £125k damages from ITV +1

written by ExiledRoyal, 23 November 2012
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1 Litre of fuel for sale

Will swap for 3 first class stamps

written by ExiledRoyal, 30 March 2012
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Police recover stolen settee...

...which, by anyone's books, was very thoughtful of them when it was looking so tatty

written by ExiledRoyal, 28 March 2012
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Diarrhoea


Just Central Heating for your pants

written by ExiledRoyal, 28 March 2012
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The Spoof to sue new website over copyright issues

The new website for gay thespians, ThesPoof, is being taken to court over breach of copyright

written by ExiledRoyal, 28 March 2012
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The reason women say 'What?'

Apparently it's not because they haven't heard you... It means that they're giving you a chance to correct yourself

written by ExiledRoyal, 20 November 2011
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Chelsea make official complaint against Luis Suarez

Chelsea have made an official complaint to the FA accusing Luis Suarez of abusing Fernando Torres by calling him a 'striker'

written by ExiledRoyal, 20 November 2011
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Sepp Blatter asked for his favourite Quatar player

His reply is 'Eric Clapton'

written by ExiledRoyal, 15 November 2011
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The two Great Rules of Life

1. Never tell everything at once

written by ExiledRoyal, 13 November 2011
Showing page 3 (of 9 pages)


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