Showing snippets written by ExiledRoyal.
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Number of alcoholics needed to change a lightbulb
One... Okay, just one more... Maybe a third to be social...May as well make it a few more now I've missed the last bus...
Glaswegian Advent Calendars go on sale
Behind every door, a Paracetamol
Shock find in McD's
Chip found in the salt
Only 3 more Chelsea managers to go
The little things that make Christmas
Thai kids in Sweatshops for example
Cure for ADHD found
A f***ing good smack round the head
Lucky escape by man at Justin Bieber concert
Scaffolding collapsed and killed him before the concert started
Advice for men with fat wives
Save money by putting an energy-saving lightbulb in the fridge
Germany moves to ban bestiality
Massive bovine exodus to Austria predicted
New 'Twilight' movie opening ruined by woman talking through it
Kristen Stewart I think her name was.
Mitt Romney spent $800m on not becoming president of the USA.
I spent 65p and got the same result, except I have a Mars Bar.
Paul Gascoigne sober for 32 days...
... since the age of 15
"My name is...." "My name is...." "My name is...."
Alzhiemers Eminem tribute act leaves punters confused
New Oxford Thesaurus is terrible
It is also terrible
Lost: Pitbull with three legs
Answers to the name of Fluffy. Family distraught.
Legs belong to wife and eldest daughter.
McAlpine cashes in
Following ITV's payment of £125k for naming him as a paedophile, Lord McAlpine is now seeking a further £125k damages from ITV +1
1 Litre of fuel for sale
Will swap for 3 first class stamps
Police recover stolen settee...
...which, by anyone's books, was very thoughtful of them when it was looking so tatty
Just Central Heating for your pants
The Spoof to sue new website over copyright issues
The new website for gay thespians, ThesPoof, is being taken to court over breach of copyright
The reason women say 'What?'
Apparently it's not because they haven't heard you... It means that they're giving you a chance to correct yourself
Chelsea make official complaint against Luis Suarez
Chelsea have made an official complaint to the FA accusing Luis Suarez of abusing Fernando Torres by calling him a 'striker'
Sepp Blatter asked for his favourite Quatar player
His reply is 'Eric Clapton'
The two Great Rules of Life
1. Never tell everything at once
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