Showing snippets written by ExiledRoyal.
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Mitt Romney spent $800m on not becoming president of the USA.
I spent 65p and got the same result, except I have a Mars Bar.
Paul Gascoigne sober for 32 days...
... since the age of 15
"My name is...." "My name is...." "My name is...."
Alzhiemers Eminem tribute act leaves punters confused
New Oxford Thesaurus is terrible
It is also terrible
Lost: Pitbull with three legs
Answers to the name of Fluffy. Family distraught.
Legs belong to wife and eldest daughter.
McAlpine cashes in
Following ITV's payment of £125k for naming him as a paedophile, Lord McAlpine is now seeking a further £125k damages from ITV +1
1 Litre of fuel for sale
Will swap for 3 first class stamps
Police recover stolen settee...
...which, by anyone's books, was very thoughtful of them when it was looking so tatty
Just Central Heating for your pants
The Spoof to sue new website over copyright issues
The new website for gay thespians, ThesPoof, is being taken to court over breach of copyright
The reason women say 'What?'
Apparently it's not because they haven't heard you... It means that they're giving you a chance to correct yourself
Chelsea make official complaint against Luis Suarez
Chelsea have made an official complaint to the FA accusing Luis Suarez of abusing Fernando Torres by calling him a 'striker'
Sepp Blatter asked for his favourite Quatar player
His reply is 'Eric Clapton'
The two Great Rules of Life
1. Never tell everything at once
The biggest difference between men and women
What they mean when they say: "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that film."
See them fight back tears when the announcer tells everyone their weight
BMW has announced that the new 5 Series will have a 'Self Park' option
Also: Self not-indicating; Self-pulling out into traffic when there is no gap; Self-tailgating and flashing headlights allowing BMW drivers to use their iPhones to pose like the jerks they are
Rohypnol to advertise
"Why give your girlfriend a night she'll never forget, when you can give her one she'll never remember?"
The KFC family bucket
Huge in Norwich
New shock divorce statistic
100% of divorces occur due to marriage
New way of transferring funds faster than electronic banking
Prince Charles dubbed 'The Helper of the Cows' by Maasai tribe
Chief Mbogo Katanga honoured Prince Charles after meeting him and the Duchess of Cornwall
A Bottle of Whisky before lunch?
The Drinks Council advocate it and say the result is staggering.
Jimmy Savile's resting place
Breaking News: Jimmy Savile to be buried in Cigarborough
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