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After cleaning up several magnum condoms left from the neighbors across the street dates from the gutter in front of my mothers house as part of my chores and community service I heard about SpoofNews
A woman came up to me in the hospital the other day and asked how she could get into labor and maternity and I replied ;
" Try getting married first ? "
Escape from New York
Now that President Obama has sang Karaoke at the Apollo in New York? I suppose their will be more New Yorker's trying to get escape with the Duke more than ever and I don't mean John Wayne ?
I Love New York
That's right I love New York as long as it stays where it is and leave the Pace Picante sauce here out West? Keep Manhattan just give me that countryside?
Live and Let Die ?
We all know that Horse Manure means HS,and Steer Manure means BS, but was does BO have to do with any of US to Solo Mio Karaoke at the Apollo in the first place? Something smells in Denmark?
Oooops I Did It Again ?
Did I just say the " O - word," at the Apollo? Heck and my name isn't even Kramer from Seinfeld? You all should hear me do "Camptown Ladies?" He rode a Blazing Saddle and wore a Shining Star ?
President Obama Does Karaoke
The President at a fund-raiser at the Apollo in Harlem,NY. Tried his hand on a little Karaoke song of old Al Green's"Let's stay together?" Thank God he didn't have Kramer's Heckler in the audience ?
Put that in your Hooka Pipe and smoke it ?
Now that Pakistan and Afghanistan have jumped on the Anti American band wagon?Soldiers will now find the Blonde Lebanese Hashis is really CamelDung. Bring back Ayatolla Toilet Paper 1 ply and smile ?
Save a tree eat a beaver ?
At the White House they two guys were arrested for smoking the White House Christmas tree.The native American's used to smoke Kinikanik which tasted like Buffalo dung and it usually was surebeats BS?
The Slightly Irreverent Comedy of Ron Carey
Who remembers Ron Carey from old Barney Millers TV series?As he makes Catholic Comedy as funny as Rodney Dangerfield made respect for being Italian?Then there is allways those Kramers at Greek Apollos
You have nicer boobs than my girlfriend ?
Since one of the side effects of my meds,is breast enlargement(gynecomastia)in men?I thought Lita Ford would remember me when I was in Riverside county jail in Banning 1996 with her best friends son ?
Wine and Dine at the Y ?
Well after closing Hemet's Simpson Center for Seniors Lunch everyone can now dine at the new YMCA with the Village People instead ? Horse Manure !
She Wore A Golden Halo ?
Around her head she wore a golden halo for her true love in the US Calvary an udated version of the US Cavalry song ? Only to go where no man has gone before is now out of the question ?
Stop Obama's Assualt on Veterans ?
I should be so lucky?Is that anything like Gay Bashing, "Dont ask Dont tell ? Sonds like Buggery on the high sea's to me straight from the plank with a little spanking and humiliation to go with it ?
Ruby Dont take your love to town ?
It wasnt me who started this old crazy Arab war but I was proud to go and do my patriotic chore I know its hard to love a man whos legs are bent and paralysed, but Ruby baby cant I just stay in bed ?
Hold the Presses !
Breaking news : I just farted, and it smelled like Horse Manure !" Don't anyone light a cigarette untill I'm done. As my old lady does as she say's I'm the greatest but move over I cant see the TV ?
azzing Saddles II the sequel ?
He rode a blazzing saddle and wore a shinning star ? There's a new Sheriff in town they call " Horse Manure," and that's me ? Your mildley mannered reporter working for the daily SPOOF, doodah ?
I'm trying real hard not to smell like BO, even though I do have to fart sometime ?
Demolition Man II
I here Sandra Bullock won't be hearing any bells real soon if at all. She should of stuck with Sylvester Stalones in San Angeles mind screwing each other instead ?
Oprah verses Kirstie in the Battle of the Bulge ?
Well at least those two girls do have one thing in common besides McDonalds which is neither of them will ever hold a candle to Tommy Lasorda farting in the Dugout with Slim Fast ?
John Paul Jones the Fighting Sailor ?
Advocate for veterans I nicked named Mr. John Paul after a famous veterans affairs a sailor named John Paul Jones, who's famous words were " Strike My Colors ? I hane not yet begun to fight ! "
The old gray mare she ain't what she used to be ?
My mother is in the hospital and they tell me they will take all her assets for board and care as I a veteran have her living trust and will have to pay them from her will after she goes POD ?
Bowers Ambulance of Long Beach
You know they had a guy who had the biggest American flag I ever saw in Long Beach and he bought up those Bowers ambulances when it closed as HRH had an Ambulance with a porta pottie is for sale ?
Torewa Dokadesku ?
Thats Japanese for Donde El Banio So the next time I get a Japanese doctor to give me medical treatment & tell me that I can't have burgers and fries as I have learend to administer my own laxatives ?
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