Showing snippets written by Jaggedone.
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Manchester United sack Mourinho!
The Special One has been sacked by Man United! Sir Alex Ferguson decided to boot him out because he fears he is better than himself and that is forbidden at Utd. Jose kicked a water bottle in anger!
Theresa May's leatherette thighs are fake!
Trousergate, the latest scandal to rock 10 Downing St. is pure plagiarism, the only real Leatherette Thighs in the world belong to Volga Olga of Erskine Quint fame!
Saudi's threaten to hack BOJO's hand off!
Britain's interests abroad have hit new heights with BOJO, who has, with superior diplomatic skills, insulted Saudi and Iran and now, if he ever holiday's in Dubai, they will hack his left hand off!
Dead ducks in Holland are not Double Dutch!
Yet again Holland leads the way in global conservationism by culling 190000 dead ducks, shipping them to Hong Hong not for eating, no, it's a brand new aphrodiziac called "Save the tiger's teeth!"
Ve only tell ze truth!
A document found by Jaggedone's Cockroach Infiltration Army written by Frau Goebbels in Berlin, 1945, proves that Adolf planted the seed that made Trump trump! Ask Josef Mengele & Dustin Hoffman!
Rooney orders gold-plated zimmerframe!
Jose Mourinho has told Wayne Rooney he is too slow and advised him to order a gold-plated zimmerframe from Amazon.Com! Most United fans would rather see Wayne sent up the Amazon!
Fatty tax on global airlines imminent!
After Samoa Airline led the way it seems that all global airlines will implement a "fatty tax" on board their planes. Ryanair support the action too! No fatty people, just fatty profits please!
Grunting, sniffing Sharapova becomes UN ambassador!
Banned ex-tennis star is the new UN ambassador for global drug-runners! Maria will assist runners to get faster and fitter and her experience as a major grunting sniffer will be invaluable!
Hurricane destroys US!
Hurricane Donald would have been too obvious! So let's call it Hillary instead and keep to tradition! Women destroy everything!
Disneyland in election fever!
Who is the greatest of them all? Donald Duck or Minnie Mouse! Find out here on the Spoof where both candidates will fight to the bitter end quacking! Now where's Tom when you need him?
What the hell have wigs to do with Brexit?
Judgement day on Brexit is not quite arrived because "Big Wigs" wearing "Wigs" have "wigged" Farage & Co! Thanks Prince John, a mega-wigger!
To male or not to mail! That is not the question!
It seems being a dodgy female US presidential candidate one has problems deleting males because only dodgy male candidates can delete their males, say the FBI, and Hoover knew all about that one!
Future Diwali celebrations in ISIS hands!
After the successful Diwali celebrations in India caused an environmental disaster and many deaths the Indian government have asked ISIS to organize future festivals because they need a bigger cull!
French Jungle stank of garlic!
It has been established that a French Jungle recently destroyed by a bunch of Baguette Bashers stunk of garlic not urine! As the shit hit the fan a pungent cloud smelling of the herb hung in the air!
Heathrow or Death-Row?
Well there really is not a lot of difference!
BOJO's Brexit Bullshit!
Top Brit buffoon, BOJO, has now come out and told the world he did not really want Brexit and only supported Farage's exit group because he's an even bigger buffoon than BOJO! That's politics for you!
Angie Merkel busted in Berlin!
It was not quite a "Reichsbunker" meltdown, but Angie Merkel's CDU got "blitzed" by the right-radical AFD party in a local election in Berlin. Aufwiedersehen Angie, willkommen AH!
Kenyan Athletes forced to go for a "Drug Run!"
Kenyan Olympic team were forced to live in a Brazilian Favela for 3 days because they had no money left for the tickets home. They earned their tickets back by "Drug Running" it's a new Olympic sport!
The Raping Reaper returns!
Sunderland FC have decided to put the final nail in their coffin by employing Moyes as their personal Reaper! He is doing a great job, only after 2 games David has already buried the hatchet!
BOJO wins gold Olympic medal at 'Butt-licking!'
New UK Foreign Secretary, BOJO, has wasted no time in proving to the world why May chose him! He has already won a gold Olympic medal at his fav sport, Buttlicking, before the games even started!
Rear end Turkish coup on Greek Island Lesbos!
President Erdogan annexed Greek Island Lesbos in a coup d état after repelling a revolution in Turkey! Gay/Lesbian Lesbos tourists fear it is the end and will now flock to the Isle of Man Instead!
Farage, Cameron, Bojo!
British, Bulldog, Bullshit!
Brexit drowns in Scotch Whisky!
Nicola Sturgeon has vowed to halt the Brexit by applying a Scottish veto because Scotch Whisky lovers refuse to pay 5op more for a wee dram, QUI, QUI, vive L'Ecosse!
Arsenal offer Cameron Arsene's job!
Sick of losing every year in Europe, Arsenal have offered ex UK Prime Minister, Cameron, Arsene Wenger's job because he only lost once!!
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