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French police raid Calais
Asylum seekers in Calais hoping to reach England and mega benefits have been raided by French police, put in straight jackets and shipped off to loony bins; UKIP ordered the attack!
King Louis and Giggsy in a 'joint venture'
Ryan Giggs met King Louis van Gaal over a joint (venture) or two in Holland today and Giggsy left the hotel as a high as a kyte after being given the job as senior back-stabber for the coming season!
Hitler moustache is now OUT!
The popular Hitler moustache is now OUT in Austria and been replaced by a super Tranny supporting a full beard. Austrian men have at last found their feminine side and Hitler turned in his grave!
Gillette have been banned by Austrian men
Shaving experts, Gillette, are not welcome in Austria after a Tranny with a beard won a shit song contest, Austrian men are now demanding that every male must come out and wear a beard in solidarity!
van Gaal is Double Dutch!
Louis van Gaal is Double Dutch, the Man Utd choice to replace Moyes has told the English press to stuff themselves already proving that he is insane enough to take the job!
Transvestites without bears banned from gay bars in Vienna!
Tranvestites must wear beards if they wish to enter the gay world in Vienna, if they attempt to enter a gay bar shaven they will be rejected because it is too feminine!
New Wave rolls across Europe; the gay, bearded, transvestite look!
A new fashion has hit Europe and many men are now dressing up as women and growing beards, the fashion started in Vienna after Mozart was depicted in an evening dress with his wig stuck on his chin!
Beards are in in Austria!
Unshaven tranis are the new Viennese delight!
van Gaal is the latest "Chosen One!"
King Louis van Gaal is to put his head under the guillotine at Man United and here is the only comment he offered:
"Boo, boo, be do!"
Man United's fans prayers have been answered proving that there is a god after all!
Everton fans die laughing, literally!
Several Everton fans collapsed and died yesterday after watching their ex-manager act like a headless baboon, very funny! Well at least they died happy, United fans await a much more horrific fate!
Robin van Persie refuses to cross the North Sea!
Man United sicknote, RVP, has refused to cross the North Sea until Moyes has been replaced by Vader Abraham and his Smurfs because even they could do a better job and do not speak double Dutch!
Everton fans declare Liverpool a Moyes free zone!
Everton fans have declared the area around Goodison Park a "Moyes Free Zone" and never want to see him back again because after 10 years of suffering, the pestilence has reached Old Trafford!
Man United fans lynch Moyes!
A group of vigilante United fans has lynched Moyes and hung his lifeless brain on the statue of Alex Ferguson as a reminder to the United board that only one good Scot is not a dead Scot!
Man United meltdown!
The US Stock Exchange has declared Man United bankrupt of ideas because they employed Moyes! Shares are dropping like dead flies circling over the "Shithole of Nightmares" called Old Trafford!
Moyes is sacked!
Man United fans have sacked Moyes with a sack full of spuds because they have more eyes in their skin than he has in his head!
Heathen Holland invaded by Germans!
the Dutch do not celebrate Good Friday, but the Germans do so on this sad day Germans invade Holland searching for Jerusalem in a Koffie Shop!
Jesus admits he did not die on Good Friday!
Through a medium, Jesus has come out of his tomb and admitted that he did not die on Good Friday, it was actually a Jewish hippie hanging on the cross, ask Brian!
Ukrainian Jews sent to Israel!
Russians are deporting Ukrainian Jews to Israel, however Israel doesn't want them, but Palestinia have offered them a home!
Rooney's broken toe is not!
Wayne Rooney admitted he had no broken toe, he just bottled in Bayern!
Double Dutch or just plain green!
The Dutch have started illuminating their streets with green neon paint hoping to attract aliens looking for Koffie Shops!
UEFA kicks Ukrainian teams out of Champions League!
Ukrainian teams will not be allowed to play Champions League next season because UEFA needs the gas to sponsor their competition and the Ukraine has none!
Russian tanks roll over Ukraine!
Putin has sent his tanks in and they are now rolling over the Ukraine, Obama asked him not too but thought, "It's a gas" and that's more important than a Ukraine without gas!
Liverpool yobs stone City snobs!
"Stone the Mancs," they screamed as Liverpool yobs attacked a bus carrying the Light Blues and not the Reds. Just goes to show how desperate life is when there's no Red Mancs left to roll over!
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