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Showing snippets written by Roy Turse.


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It's Coming Home, It's Coming Home, It's Coming...

The-usual-bloody-frustration-and-panic-about-getting-through-the-Group-Stage, is Coming Home

written by Roy Turse, 13 June 2010
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Imagine my embarrassment

When I realised I'd bought a B-flat Vuvuzela and everyone else was playing in concert pitch.

written by Roy Turse, 13 June 2010
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BP Board tell CEO Tony Hayward:

Don't use phrases like "There are plenty more fish in the sea" or "Pouring oil on troubled waters" until further notice.

written by Roy Turse, 10 June 2010
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I've asked everyone else who uses this washroom...

..so this must be Occam's razor.

written by Roy Turse, 09 June 2010
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Teacher and BNP member Adam Walker

has been cleared of racism charges by the General Teaching Council. He joined Nick Griffin in toasting his victory with a glass of Newcastle Pale Ale.

written by Roy Turse, 26 May 2010
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When asked who should play Glastonbury in place of U2

Bono's doctors suggested Spinal Tap

written by Roy Turse, 26 May 2010
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RIP Ventriloquist Ray Alan

Gone to a getter clace

written by Roy Turse, 24 May 2010
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Rage Against the Machine single vies with X-Factor winner for Xmas top spot

Sony must be laughing all the way to the bank - I expect there will be a version of 'Killing in the Name' on Joe McElderry's debut album.

written by Roy Turse, 15 December 2009
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Following the safety scares about pushchairs...

It's good to see that Maclaren finally got their finger out.

written by Roy Turse, 12 November 2009
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Some good news resulting from the poor economy:

The price of skyrockets is coming down at last.

written by Roy Turse, 10 June 2009
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Calling all tragic fatal practitioners of auto-erotic asphyxiation:

Is it really worth it to have gone out knowing you were well hung?

written by Roy Turse, 06 June 2009
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Jacqui Smith Gives Resignation Speech Outside Her Home.

Unfortunately, the press were not in attendance as they had all gone to the wrong address.

written by Roy Turse, 03 June 2009
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June 2009, and China shuts down access to Twitter.

After corporate productivity increases by 20%, the rest of the world wishes they could follow suit.

written by Roy Turse, 02 June 2009
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Woman Who Played Harp at Royal Wedding Charged with Burglary and Fraud

But she claims to have mitigating circumstances - she claims she was harpist at the time.

written by Roy Turse, 01 June 2009
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The Met Office Announces a 50% Chance of Above Average Summer Temperatures

What did they do, toss an £80Million coin?

written by Roy Turse, 01 May 2009
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Jane Asher has agreed to donate her brain to medical science

She hopes scientists will be able to discover more about the cause of Mr Kipling's Disease

written by Roy Turse, 20 April 2009
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Gordon Brown has been heavily criticised for the resent smears.

But he said his handwriting always looks like that.

written by Roy Turse, 16 April 2009
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Red Mercury for Sale - $60 per Kilogram

1998 Mystique in Toreador Red curb weight 1284Kg, hence $77040. Buyer collects.

written by Roy Turse, 15 April 2009
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Jensen Button Claims Pole in Malaysia.

Geography experts disagree.

written by Roy Turse, 04 April 2009
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MP Hazel Blears has said that Jonathan Ross should pay the BBC's £150,000 fine.

He says he will, as soon as MP's repay their unwarranted expenses.

written by Roy Turse, 04 April 2009
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Jamie Oliver has proudly shown off his new daughter Petal Blossom Rainbow.

She has been named after a Sainsbury's toilet tissue multi-pack as part of his sponsorship deal.

written by Roy Turse, 03 April 2009
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The story of the baby birds that can do arithmetic was faked, admit researchers in Italy.

They cheated by using a 'chick magnet' to move the baby birds around.

written by Roy Turse, 03 April 2009
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The US FDA have announced the recall of Californian pistachio products.

There are concerns they have become contaminated. And not with tachio.

written by Roy Turse, 31 March 2009
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A Russian cosmonaut says that non-American crew are not being allowed to use the US toilet and exercise bike.

But, he says, once he realised it was a single device, he was less interested in using it.

written by Roy Turse, 31 March 2009
Showing page 2 (of 6 pages)


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