Showing snippets written by NODDY.
Show all snippets.
Bank execs hit hard in downturn
Bankers have been hit hard by the economic downturn - sales of the top-of-the-range Maybach '62' motor car (£346,000) are down 6%.However, sales of the '57' (at a bonus-swallowing £300,00) are up 15%.
Driving dog causes fatality
Jack, the world's first dog licensed to drive an automobile, has had an accident this afternoon, Windrush Gulch New Mexico Police Department has confirmed. A cat has been killed, Jack was unharmed.
"Pointlessness" of life discovered
A dual British-American team from the Universities of Oxford and Havard have completed a fifteen-year study and concluded that all human life is basically pointless.
Scots saver causes copper shortage
A Scottish man, Wee Davie Mactavish of Partick, has hoarded so many copper coins in the last 40 years that he has caused a world shortage of copper. He is refusing to part with the 3-ton load.
Michael Winner "is a tit" claim
Film Director Michael Winner is a "bit of a tit" claimed someone close to the celebrity yesterday; Mick O'Malley, whose cousin once shared a flat with Winner's cleaner.
Obama sings new proclamation
In a surprising move, President Barak Obama will today sing a new proclamation. Presidents have traditionally signed them.
Egg Health Warning Alert
Eating more than 15 eggs per day can be harmful to your health, warns a scientist from the Department of Lunch at the University of Cornwall.
Long Felt Want discovered
Found last week under the floorboards of an old cottage in Darking - a long felt want, dating from Shakespeare's time! Only about two feet of it are still recognisable, the owner has said.
Newt "Gingrich" to run for Presidency
According to Bud Redneck, his pet newt "Gingrich" is running for President in 2012. "We sure as heck had worse in the last 20 years, so why not?" said Bud, sewing KKK uniforms in his forest shack.
"Depression foods" to make comeback
Foodstuffs from the Great Depression of the 1930's are to make a comeback. Supermarkets are to start selling gruel, dry biscuits, egg powder, milk powder and cheap soups with indeterminate lumps in.
Prince Harry in new "race" row
For the second time in 2 weeks Prince Harry has been plunged into a race row - this time after telling a child that he "never really liked Pac-Man" in answer to a question about computer games.
"There's a thin line between love and hate"
It has been a common saying since 1723 and the Pretenders sang a song with that title. Now scientists at the University of Dulwich have measured the "thin line between love and hate" and it is 0.7mm.
A wunch of Bankers
The collective name for Bankers is now a "wunch", according to the compilers of the Complete Oxford Dictionary (Spoonerism division).
A lorry containing 200 tortoises has crashed into a van carrying 100 terrapins on the A62. Police are calling it a turtle disaster.
Send To A Friend
Send this site to a friend!
RSS & Feeds
The Spoof is proud to present all its stories as RSS Feeds.
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!