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Bank execs hit hard in downturn

Bankers have been hit hard by the economic downturn - sales of the top-of-the-range Maybach '62' motor car (£346,000) are down 6%.However, sales of the '57' (at a bonus-swallowing £300,00) are up 15%.

written by NODDY, 28 January 2009
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Driving dog causes fatality

Jack, the world's first dog licensed to drive an automobile, has had an accident this afternoon, Windrush Gulch New Mexico Police Department has confirmed. A cat has been killed, Jack was unharmed.

written by NODDY, 27 January 2009
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"Pointlessness" of life discovered

A dual British-American team from the Universities of Oxford and Havard have completed a fifteen-year study and concluded that all human life is basically pointless.

written by NODDY, 27 January 2009
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Scots saver causes copper shortage

A Scottish man, Wee Davie Mactavish of Partick, has hoarded so many copper coins in the last 40 years that he has caused a world shortage of copper. He is refusing to part with the 3-ton load.

written by NODDY, 27 January 2009
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Michael Winner "is a tit" claim

Film Director Michael Winner is a "bit of a tit" claimed someone close to the celebrity yesterday; Mick O'Malley, whose cousin once shared a flat with Winner's cleaner.

written by NODDY, 26 January 2009
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Obama sings new proclamation

In a surprising move, President Barak Obama will today sing a new proclamation. Presidents have traditionally signed them.

written by NODDY, 26 January 2009
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Egg Health Warning Alert

Eating more than 15 eggs per day can be harmful to your health, warns a scientist from the Department of Lunch at the University of Cornwall.

written by NODDY, 26 January 2009
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Long Felt Want discovered

Found last week under the floorboards of an old cottage in Darking - a long felt want, dating from Shakespeare's time! Only about two feet of it are still recognisable, the owner has said.

written by NODDY, 25 January 2009
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Newt "Gingrich" to run for Presidency

According to Bud Redneck, his pet newt "Gingrich" is running for President in 2012. "We sure as heck had worse in the last 20 years, so why not?" said Bud, sewing KKK uniforms in his forest shack.

written by NODDY, 23 January 2009
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"Depression foods" to make comeback

Foodstuffs from the Great Depression of the 1930's are to make a comeback. Supermarkets are to start selling gruel, dry biscuits, egg powder, milk powder and cheap soups with indeterminate lumps in.

written by NODDY, 23 January 2009
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Prince Harry in new "race" row

For the second time in 2 weeks Prince Harry has been plunged into a race row - this time after telling a child that he "never really liked Pac-Man" in answer to a question about computer games.

written by NODDY, 23 January 2009
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"There's a thin line between love and hate"

It has been a common saying since 1723 and the Pretenders sang a song with that title. Now scientists at the University of Dulwich have measured the "thin line between love and hate" and it is 0.7mm.

written by NODDY, 22 January 2009
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A wunch of Bankers

The collective name for Bankers is now a "wunch", according to the compilers of the Complete Oxford Dictionary (Spoonerism division).

written by NODDY, 19 January 2009
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Travel News

A lorry containing 200 tortoises has crashed into a van carrying 100 terrapins on the A62. Police are calling it a turtle disaster.

written by NODDY, 19 January 2009
Showing page 2 (of 2 pages)


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