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Downing Street Appoints New Spokesman
The new spokesman for the PM is to be Muhammad Saeed Al-Sahhaf, former Iraqi Information Minister. Sources said he would 'bring clarity' to Gordon Brown's statements, especially on the economy.
ITV Suspends Filming on 'Heartbeat'
Filming has been suspended on further episodes of Heartbeat, after ITV executives finally realised the show no longer had a pulse. 'Star' Joe McFadden is to be humanely destroyed, say producers.
Netherlands & Iceland in Diplomatic Tussle
Netherlands in diplomatic incident with Iceland over the appointment of a new Lesbian Icelandic PM - the Dutch claim that only they have rights to important dykes.