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Gender Reassignment Conference in Scunthorpe.
The 2009 Gender Reassignment Conference will be held at the Isaac Hunt Memorial Suite, Scunthorpe. Leading plastic surgeon Prof. Dick Todger will open proceedings.
Tights Down, Shirts Up!
Tights were down today in Boots as raw Nylon prices plummeted, whilst shirts were up in Chester after the US cotton crop failed.
"Ramrod" Ramsey in Doghouse.
Gordon in the doghouse!! Following Tara's cancellation of the Christmas holiday, Gobby Gordy is to be banished to the dog's quarters. Sarah, the bitch is to stay in Tara's room, "for her own safety'
"England's Glory" Closes last match factory
Striking workers lost their jobs this week as Bryant and May closed their last match factory. "There was just no light at the end of the tunnel" lamented spokesman, Sandy Papier.
All "Ramrod" Ramseys meals to be served with a "Bit on the side"
Welsh Signwriters Redundant.
Dafydd Ap-griffith and Wyn Lewis-Jones lost their jobs recently when as an economy measure the village of LLANFAIRPWLLGWYNGYLL
LLANTYSILIOGOGOGOH was renamed PWLL.
Govt. Bailout of Knotty Ash Treacle Mine
Ken Dodd's personal intervention swings bailout of local treacle mine, jobs of 412 Diddy Men saved! It was a sticky situation, but everything is sweet now, gushed a jubilant Doddy.
Brown in Citibank / Shittibank Gaffe
An obviously tired and emotional Gordon Brown slipped up today, when he refered to Citibank, as Shittibank, "they run a slick operation, no flies on them" he said.
Colgate snaps up Woolies
Colgate denied that it bought Woolworths to preserve the Pick 'n Mix operation. "No sweets, no need for toothpaste is nonsense, they are our biggest retailers of 3 for 2 packs" claimed MD Jo Brand.
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