Showing breaking news satire snippets written by ronin47empire.Show all snippets.
OZ PM Re-elected With Support of Fans of Obscure Sports
Julia Gillard will stay as Australia's PM after winning support of LaCrosse followers and Tennis fans to her coaltion of Rugby and Cricket.
written by ronin47empire, 14 September 2010
Kittens to feature prominently in next Al-Qaeda Video
Al Qaeda sees Youtube video views dropping. Next video to feature two tabby kittens with Bin Laden hissing at maps of Turkey and Israel.
The pen drive is Also mightier than the sword
Wikileaks ignores Pentagon,posts CIA document saying US exportin terror-
There you go-Proof-the pen drive is Also mightier than the sword.
Facebook creating new portal for dogs
Facebook working on adapting itself to canine users-
Like to Lick,
Unlike to Unlick,
mouse to cat,
Comment to bark, etc
Mel Gibson Tries to become Jewish Black Woman
Mel Gibson is reportedly trying to become a Black Jewish woman in order to escape scrutiny for his hateful rant."It'll be OK if I say n*****,Jew and slap women around then,I might even get a TV show"
written by ronin47empire, 12 July 2010
Minorities protected effectively during protests against oil price hike in India
Owners of hybrid vehicles and electric cars were alloted special police protection during the nationwide protests against the rising price of oil in India. Click here for full story.
written by ronin47empire, 05 July 2010
Coup in Australia: Civil War Between Sports Fans of Different Affiliations Feared
A bloody civil war is feared between Rugby League supporters and Soccerroos after the Oz coup. Cricket fans have offered to negotiate an armistice by being the object of ridicule of both sides
written by ronin47empire, 28 June 2010
Obama Practises Watching US Lose To Poor Countries
Barack Obama watched the US lose to Ghana, a poor third world nation with little or no infrastructure in order to gain experience to cope with the impending loss in Afghanistan.
written by ronin47empire, 27 June 2010
Reverse Psychological Warfare: US donates Nukes to Iran Reason#5
American propagandists have had a hard time over the last few decades playing up their wars against pre-bombed poor countries as a "brave campaign". Finally, a country with real weapons. Click Here.
written by ronin47empire, 25 June 2010
Hillary Clinton To Wave At Snipers in Pakistan Before Ducking
Hillary is ready to make amends for her ridiculous "I got shot at by snipers in Bosnia" claim.Mrs Clinton will be visiting Pakistan,and is looking forward to ducking from snipers for real this time.
written by ronin47empire, 21 June 2010
Brazilian Marines Prepare For Punishing Attack On US
On the off chance that the Americans don't withdraw from their threatening draws in the World Cup, Brazilian troops are being prepared to deter America from being good at everything.
I was doing research: Expelled Bully
Danko(14) claims to have been researching Freud when he was interrupted."I've been set back years in my studies,dillholes!" 'He did keep asking me if I wanted my mommy now' Said a veggied nerd(11).
New Religion Surpasses Scientology This Decade
"GoForthandBorrow" the fastest growing religion this decade according to Forbes study."The USP of this religion is that it allows dual citizenship.You can borrow and be Christian,Buddhist,Jewish etc"
Slow on the Uptake: Pakistan Succesfully Captures Man Trying to Catch Bin Laden
Pakistani authorities sucessfully apprehended a highly motivated man trying to kill or capture Bin Laden. After arresting Faulkner,Pak police proceeded to not find Bin Laden for the 4000th day running
Cool Kids Have Herpes
Herpes is once again the most sought after STD,after a brief surge in the desire for Chlamydia in October,says a Forbes survey among teens aged 14-to-Stupid."All the cool kids have it"-John McGinty
Dalai Lama Found Playing Non-Violent Videogame
A disturbing Non-violent videogame was found on the Dalai Lama's hacked iPad."Breathe-3D" has evoked strong criticism from both Beijing and conservative gamers for its lack of sex and violence
Boy with perfect SAT score Still waiting for Obama to Handover Reigns of Power
Student of Indian Origin is still waiting for President Obama to handover power to him after he aced the SAT test."It's been 6 hours I should have atleast received some missile codes by now."
UN slams Kyrgyzstan violence, provokes sarcasm from victims
As the sanctimonious UN slammed Kyrgyzstan violence, sarcastic victims pointed out that the last thing they need is more violence such as slamming and the like.
Indian Opposition Leader Rues The Day He Won Election
Yes. Yes, I absolutely regret that we were in power in 2002. We should have never won that goddamn election. Now everytime we raise an issue they simply say "you did nothing either" Smug b@3$5^$.
Korean-Australian Immigrant eats Dingo's baby to turn a phrase on its head
Australians,especially Rick,often greet relatives with"A Dingo Ate Your Baby".But Korean-Ozy Gulmjulin Kim seeking his native cuisine of "puppy",ate a dingo baby today screwing up the saying forever
written by ronin47empire, 13 June 2010