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Killer nuts on the loose
Killer pistachios in California on their way to the boarder to fight, Mexican drug cartels
Obama sees signs of recovery
He said less people have moved into American Tent cites this month.
Dalai Lama: China makes life 'hell on Earth' for Tibetans
The Chinese from the main land smell so bad, its been fifty years of hell for Tibetans.
Chimps speak out
Chimps protest cartoon depicting them as policy makers in the American Government. They strongly assert that their intelligence is higher than that.
Geese speak out
Geese spokesmen calls today crash of a flight in New York poetic Justice for their brethren lost on the Hudson.
Repubilcians offer Stimulus plan
The basic plan calls for Obama,s administration to pay its taxes on time, this will fill gaps in the budget
Woman gives birth to 8
She already has 6 other kids and when asked why she has so many kids, she responded, "I can't count"
Palin says she is not running for White House in 2012
She wants Republicans to win
Obama's Kenyan Family ready for the Inauguration
They just hope the pig they killed will be enough for everybody
George Bush will start writing his book
He will name the book about his time in the "White House" "Reign of Terror", How I almost destroyed Western Civilization!
Burris says he's honored to be seated in the Senate
"I just wanted my monies worth that's all"
Isreal says it is concerned about civilians in Gaza
They have enlisted Jewish trader Bernie Maddof, to run an investment fund for the future needs of Palestine. We are confident that Bernie will get them on track to financial freedom.
Obama names Surgent General
Dr. Hibbert, will be the next Surgent General. Dr. Hibbert is one of the only regular African American characters on the Simpsons. He went to medical school at Johns Hopkins University.
Jewish incursion into Gaza
Jewish leaders denied a report that the incursion was really launched after hearing some loose change was laying around unprotected in Gaza
Sarkozy's Diplomatic Mission to the Middle East
Sarkozy has asked Hamas to stop its missile attack into Israel and Hamas has responded by treating Jews in France with deodorant missiles
Honors for Zimbabwe
Zimbabwe was voted to have the best drinking water for the "Terminally ill who support Euthanasia"
Santa shots 8 people died
He said he warned people before about lighting a fire in the chimney on Christmas.
More elderly Japanese turn to petty crime
In an attempt to reduce Elder Crime the Japanese have started a new Kamikaze program, targeting Japanese Nursing Homes
Santa Clause Arrested
He was charged with "bestiality" and cruelty to animals after being caught with Rudolf in a Lewd act.
Pope attacks blurring of gender
He said "women wearing hats" and the "Scottish wearing dresses" will be the down fall of the human race, even more then religion
Blagojevich declares innocence, won't resign
"except for a price" asks American people to "Lets make a deal" bidding stars at one million
George W. Bush to introduce a new "shoe ducking" contest for future Presidential Candidates. He believes after his legacy as the Commander in Chief future Presidents will meed this skill.
Iraqi shoe thrower will start for the yankess next season
The Yankees liked what they saw and offered him a contract, he first had to turn down an offer from Al Qaeda to be a suicide bomber
Bush denies Shoe attack
He claims the Iraqi journalist was showing his love and appreciation for him, by offering him a great par of used home made goat leather shoes. A prized possession in Iraq.
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