Showing snippets written by Earl Grey.
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Suicidal Tendencies, A Desire To Choke To Death!
Ah, yes, that's why mum's gone to Iceland!
All we do under a Labour Government is get pissed and eat too much. So, five more years then.
Election To Close To Call, Poles Say
And those trees are awfully close also.
Pope Placed On Sex-Offenders List
Joins twenty-three Cardinals, forty-five bishops, one hundred and fifty priests and the man who used to help with the collections on Sunday.
Spacious one bedroomed apartment, glorious views, wonderful kitchen, body of BBC presenter in front room. Reduced for quick sale.
Surge In Cocaine Use Prompts Medical Review
Doctors say it's really good shit.
The Future's Bright......
It's not orange anymore. Farewell Dr Paisley. You have shouted your last slogan of hatred.
Kristian Digby Death Latest
Are BBC Cutbacks to Blame?
Brown To Crack Down On Yobs
"We need to deal firmly with hooligans and bullies" he said as the police took him away.
Pregnant snowboarder pulls out
after boyfriend fails to.
Weather forecast cancelled
Due to the severe weather we are unable to bring you today's forecast. Whether or not we have a weather forecast tomorrow depends on whether the weather is good or bad.
If you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big surprise....
There are a load of Russian T-80 tanks abandoned. The teddy bears next picnic will be held in the gulag.
St Stephen's Green Turned Into Boxing Ring
Gordon Brown has challenged all comers to fight him in the ring outside Westminster. Millions are joining the que.
Fears Over Assisted Suicide Guidlines
The forms are so complicated it may lead to people taking their own life, warns watchdog.
India and Pakistan Agree To Keep In Touch
They are putting a gate in the garden fence.
Ivana Phuque Comes Second
Says she is delighted and can she come again please?
GB Men's Curlers Out
Hair looks a treat for journey home.
Get Shane Warne Underpants!
"If they can control my googlies then they can look after yours!"
World Cup Could Be Over By The Time The Cole's Divorce
Unless the pair of them just get a move on
Balls Defends Record As Teenage Pregnancies Fall
Says he's confident he can get it back up soon.
Winter Olympics Latest
Britain try to get gold with two bob.
Latest Beano Comic
Latest Beano comic sells for £2.50. Local man thought to have been the buyer. Also bought a copy of Exchange and Mart for £3.00
Toddler With Incredible Memory
Able to recite 1975 Fulham FA Cup Final starting XI
Millions of Holiday Makers in Limbo
It's just about the only place BA can get you to
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