Spoof Snippets
Showing snippets written by Midgetgems.
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Smooth Grooves
Stevie Wonder admits he mistook a long braille letter from Heather Mills for a roll of coarse grade sandpaper although he is said to be delighted with the new floor.
Jolie warmed
Angelina Jolie warned to expect a right dressing down from the Advertising Standards Agency after glamourising guns. She has been given a white dressing gown instead.
Loose lion
Belfast - a lion on the loose has caused concern for local impala . Northern Irish police are trying to establish a tamelion
Hope for sufferers
A breakthrough in embryo research means scientists can now create many new diseases. "This is great news for all long-suffering hypochondriacs" says Dr Stefan Nerd, a victim himself.
Ignorance forecast
The cost of inflation is set to soar if the rate of living index expands to record interest levels. With the economic downturn rising, shares in dips could fall say expert analysts at the King's Arms.
Two b's or not
Obama and Biden deny their priority will be to try forming an imperfect anagram of Osama Bin Laden by employing someone called Sal N. 'One B is enough' says Barack.
Net names threatened
New internet domain names, due to come on stream later this century, have had to be cancelled due to an unforeseen shortage of dots. More later ........................................................
Oxymorons
The number of erudite chavs using oxymorons is almost exactly the same as last year but the figure is distinctly blurred.
Shiny money
The FTSE 100 index has risen on news that it is to be renamed the FTSE 100 Spandex.
Speeding campaign
The National Association of Non-Skim Readers has launched an official campaign designed to drive home the message that it is unacceptable to expect slow readers to reach the conclusion of a snippet if
DIY enthusiast sentenced
Man sentenced to 120 hrs community work for animal cruelty. Ron Doings claimed a friend told him to treat a wet wall by using some damp seal. "It took ages to catch the damn thing too" he said.
Logo still pants
A new phenomenon has been identified as more people than ever turn to 'cringe drinking' in order to make the London 2012 logo please, please go away.
Northern lights drifting
Everything associated with the north is falling apart. It began with northern Rock,then the north pole and now the northern lights have been seen in the east. Scientists estimate that the north will have vanished within ten years.
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