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Three Quarters of British Children Cannot Boil an Egg

Researchers say that three quarters of British children cannot boil an egg. Ironically, 95% of British MPs do not know how to boil an egg either; even though they have all claimed for egg cups.

written by norma snockers, 20 May 2009
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The creeps

According to a survey in Glamour magazine, 80% of women say have been 'creeped' out at work when an older man tried to have sex with them. The other 20% got promotions.

written by norma snockers, 20 May 2009
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BNP to Adopt 'White Bull' As Emblem!

Because the bull in the Cravendale milk advertisements were not deemed to be racist, the BNP have decided to adopt the 'white bull' as its emblem in the forthcoming elections.

written by norma snockers, 13 May 2009
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'Haunted' Hotel Room Catches Fire - Again!

A room at a 17th-century hotel caught fire today. It is believed to be haunted by a former landlady who died in a blaze 300 years ago. Firemen say that the ghost must have sat on a lighted candle.

written by norma snockers, 13 May 2009
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The Egyptians claim that Nefertiti's bust is a fake!

A row has broken out between Germany and Egypt. The Germans say that Queen Nefertiti had a 44 inch chest, Egypt refutes any these claims by saying there were no such thing as implants in those days.

written by norma snockers, 11 May 2009
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House made of shells in Harry Potter film must be demolished

A house made completely from shells, to feature in the new Harry Potter film must be demolished for it was not built with planning permission, according to Pembroke District Council.

written by norma snockers, 11 May 2009
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Sir Ridley Scott fined for paying below minimum wage

Film director, Sir Ridley Scott, has been fined for paying the soldiers in the new Robin Hood film, below the minimum wage. He only paid them 2 shillings each (which was a lot of money in those days).

written by norma snockers, 11 May 2009
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MPs in nappies?

The public wait with bated breath. Who are the MPs rumoured to have claimed for nappies (diapers) on their expenses. The electorate want to know if they were for personal use?

written by norma snockers, 09 May 2009
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Leaked: David Cameron's latest the expense claim

It is rumoured that Conservative leader, David Cameron, has put in an expense claim for bicycle padlock - only yesterday! He does not even have a bike.

written by norma snockers, 08 May 2009
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New figurehead to watch over M62

A 20m face has appeared over the place M62 at Manchester. The sculpture is called "The Dream". Meanwhile, a giant fountain has been revealed at a Milton Keynes roundabout called "The Wet Dream".

written by norma snockers, 22 April 2009
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New swimming teacher appointed

The Nether Regional Girls School, Upper 6th swimming team has appointed a new teacher who knows everything about everyone. Her name is Claire Buoyant.

written by norma snockers, 21 April 2009
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Britain's smallest dog receives fine

Tilly, a 'chorky' (which is a cross between a Chihuahaua and Yorkshire terrier) may only be six inches high, but he has already fallen foul of the law when he was caught pissing up a matchstick.

written by norma snockers, 21 April 2009
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American economy worsens!

The American economy is getting worse day by day. It is noticeable that the Native American Indians are changing their casinos back into reservations.

written by norma snockers, 15 April 2009
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Lesbian ants inhabit Amazon

Scientists have discovered a species of ant that inhabits the Amazon. It does not have the sex to reproduce but relies on cloning the Queen. Isn't life strange?

written by norma snockers, 15 April 2009
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Street renamed during economic downturn

The economy is so bad Wall Street had to sell advertising rights to its street name.

It's now Wal-Mart Street.

written by norma snockers, 14 April 2009
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'Speedophile' caught in Norway

A man from Norway was caught driving erratically on a motorway while having sex. "I was just in my girlfriend's vulva when all of a sudden the police came across me!" He said today.

written by norma snockers, 13 April 2009
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Gordon Brown smears smears

A bloke in the club told me that, Gordon Brown, is to write to lots of MPs about their smear tests was something like that!

written by norma snockers, 13 April 2009
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"I can eat pizza again after 10 years"

Ellie Banks, who suffered acid reflux, had to give up spicy food for 10 years to stop the ailment worsening. Now she can once again enjoy eating the same pizza. It is a bit cold by now!

written by norma snockers, 13 April 2009
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The cooker to save trees

An apparently eco-friendly solar cooker has been developed in Kenya. In a bid to to save trees, the "Kyoto box" is made of cardboard. Millions of trees will be cut down to make the cardboard!

written by norma snockers, 09 April 2009
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Children ill after chlorine leak

About 40 people, mainly children, have been affected by a suspected chlorine leak at a Black Country swimming pool. We're sorry, that was a typo - we really meant URINE!

written by norma snockers, 08 April 2009
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History is to be taught in new curriculum

History teachers in Britain are delighted because history is to be taught in the new curriculum. This means that at least their jobs are safe!

written by norma snockers, 08 April 2009
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Boris Johnson arrested.

London Mayor, Boris Johnson, has admitted on the Andrew Marr show that he was once arrested for impersonating an MP.

written by norma snockers, 07 April 2009
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Coming to a chemists near you!

A new spray has been developed by urologists to enable men to last up to six times longer when making love. That will be a whole 30 seconds then!

written by norma snockers, 07 April 2009
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Scientists create robot

Scientists have created an ideal colleague - a robot that performs hundreds of repetitive experiments. However, God has beaten them to it - he calls it a MAN!

written by norma snockers, 03 April 2009
Showing page 2 (of 4 pages)


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