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Showing snippets written by parveen liddy.


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Scotland Out Of All Matches

Scotland's football team are to withdraw from all international competitions next season. A spokesman said: 'We've got no chance of winning - why bother?'

written by parveen liddy, 25 March 2010
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Challenging Test for Murray

Andy Murray is to play a series of warm-up matches against a leaper toad called Bernie.

written by parveen liddy, 25 March 2010
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Mandelson's False Teeth Appeal

Peter Mandelson is appealing to fair-goers to return his false teeth after they fell out while he was on a ferris wheel with his Brazillian lover in Cheltenham, Essex.

written by parveen liddy, 25 March 2010
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Brown accepts McDonalds job

Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown has accepted a job taking orders at McDonalds. He joins former Mayor Ken Livingstone, who is flipping burgers at the Peckham branch.

written by parveen liddy, 03 May 2008
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Hitler alive

Adolf Hitler has been found alive in a Sidcup bedsit but cannot be deported, officials have admitted. The High Court will scupper moves to send Mr Hitler home.

written by parveen liddy, 11 April 2008
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Livingstone: Mayor admits drink problem and resigns

Ken Livingstone has conceeded defeat to his rival Boris Johnson in the election for London Mayor He apparently wept at a news conference and said: 'I'm a corrupt drunk and I have failed this city.'

written by parveen liddy, 11 April 2008
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Was Tennis Champ Replaced by Crack Chump?

The International Tennis Federation is investigating claims that Roger Federer was using Pete Doherty as his 'double' when he lost to Wimbledon hopeful Andy Murray last week.

written by parveen liddy, 05 March 2008
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Horrific accident in mime show

World famous Australian mime artist Jason Blue is to have a carriage clock removed from his anus after he slipped on stage during his human depiction 'The Passage of Time' at the Sidney Opera House.

written by parveen liddy, 29 February 2008
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Murray: Rocket feet plan

Tennis failure Andy Murray is to test a controversial pair of jet boots known as 'McBlasters' in a bid to enable him to beat a quality player

written by parveen liddy, 19 February 2008
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Fayed: Beam me up Scottie

Mohammed Fayed and his barrister Michael Mansfield, QC will seek a ruling on Princess Diana's death from a jury on Venus after they were laughed out of the High Court.

written by parveen liddy, 19 February 2008
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Scouser's Ticket on Thatcher Express

A new bus service is being planned through Liverpool to help people who blame former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher for life's woes to 'get out and about a bit more.'

written by parveen liddy, 18 February 2008
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Mills leg shock

Former Beatle wife Heather Mills is to cut off her good leg with a hacksaw live on TV in an attempt to win sympathy from the British public.

written by parveen liddy, 15 February 2008
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End to Computer Spamming

The world's computer spammers will stop sending junk email from 12am tonight after admitting no-one was interested in their products or services.

written by parveen liddy, 15 February 2008
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Vacuum cleaner horror

A Droitwich man is recovering in hospital after he used a vacuum cleaner as a masturbatory device. Doctors have operated to remove a testicle which was lodged half way up the shaft of his penis.

written by parveen liddy, 15 February 2008
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Give non-ethnic muggers a chance pleads laughless comic

Titterless comic Lennie Henry has pleaded for 'affirmative action' to give for white muggers a chance in south London.

written by parveen liddy, 15 February 2008
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Murray: Why can't he beat good players?

Tennis player Andy Murray is to try and regain his form with a series of warm-up matches against a gerbil called Malcolm.

written by parveen liddy, 01 February 2008
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'Mr Bean' Makes Fine Booties

Well-wishers gathered at a hospital in the West End of London as Gordon Brown underwent his ninth face lift. Hospital bosses plan to make a dozen pairs of cowboy boots with the excess skin from both his front and rear faces.

written by parveen liddy, 30 January 2008
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Home Fitness Horror

A Mexican man is recovering in Tijuana hospital after the control unit on his electric buttock stretcher failed, causing severe chafing to his upper thighs.

written by parveen liddy, 30 January 2008
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Thatcher Obessives get Charity Grant

A new charity for people who blame former British premier Margaret Thatcher for their dull sex lives has won a £250,000 Lottery grant.

written by parveen liddy, 30 January 2008
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TV Crew Puts Spotlight on Reclusive Minister

Cameras are to be allowed into British Home Secretary Jacqui Smith's sea-cave for the first time in a documentary about her lifestyle as a hermit.

written by parveen liddy, 16 January 2008
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Former Mac Star Patents Privates

Ex Fleetwood Mac singer Stevie Nicks is attempting to trademark the unusual shape of her vagina after it was immortalised in an ice sculpture at a Hollywood party.

written by parveen liddy, 16 January 2008
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'Wat's hapnin' man' says McDonalds's voice

The orginal voice of newsreader Sir Trevor McDonald has been refused political asylum in Britain and will be deported to Kingstown, Jamaica.

written by parveen liddy, 03 January 2008
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Fleetwood Mac Shock at Hollywood Bash

Diners at an exclusive $1,000 a plate charity dinner were disgusted when the ice sculpture was revealed to be a three foot model of Stevie Nicks's vagina complete with an ice cream 'clitoris.'

written by parveen liddy, 03 January 2008
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Gypsies in Vic Dib's Knicks

Vicar of Dibley star Dawn French is attempting to evict a family of gipsies who moved into her knickers when she hung them out to dry over Christmas. A donkey stabled in her gusset will be allowed to stay

written by parveen liddy, 03 January 2008
Showing page 2 (of 3 pages)


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