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Showing page 2 (of 11 pages)
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Correction #02

In a previous snippet we said the world was flat.
We later discovered it is roundy shaped.
We apologise unreservedly to Mrs. Mother Nature.

written by Jesus Budda, 31 May 2010
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Correction #01

In a previous snippet we referred to local man Barry Nubbins as 'a dickhead'.
We should have said 'knobhead'.
We apologise unreservedly to Mr. Nubbins.

written by Jesus Budda, 31 May 2010
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Dog-faced Boy Meets up with Boy-faced Dog

They both licked each other and pissed on the carpet.

written by Jesus Budda, 30 May 2010
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Local Man Discovers Way to Turn Shite into Cash

Mr. Simon Cowell has made a fortune from producing a constant stream of shite.
"People just pay me to produce it", he boasted

written by Jesus Budda, 30 May 2010
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Local Atheist finds Jesus

"He was hiding behind my sofa the whole time. The cheeky little monkey!", said Barry Nubbins.

written by Jesus Budda, 30 May 2010
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Local Dyslexic School Children Told To WANK to School

"I was surprised at the kids enthusiasm to obey the rules until I discovered the error", said their teacher.

written by Jesus Budda, 29 May 2010
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Local Dyslexic Goes Hill WANKING

"I was wondering why my gay neighbour was so eager to come along with me on the trip", said Jimmy Jimjam.

written by Jesus Budda, 29 May 2010
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Local Newspaper Covers Bent Copper

The small piece of copper piping was described as 'crooked', and was discovered beneath a tattered copy of yesterdays News of The World sports section pullout.

written by Jesus Budda, 29 May 2010
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Local Cows Say They Don't Mind Alien Abductions

"It's a lot of fun and gets us out of the fields for a while", they mooed.

written by Jesus Budda, 29 May 2010
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Local Man Told to Piss Off

He then proceeded to urinate the word 'OFF' in giant letters in the snow outside his house.

written by Jesus Budda, 28 May 2010
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Local Man Gets Hand Job

Local man Barry Nubbins has taken a position at a massage parlor where he gives therapeutic massages to his clients soft hands.

written by Jesus Budda, 28 May 2010
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Bailed Falcon is a flight Risk

The Falcon, released on bail last week for a series of aerial shitting assaults, may fly, claim authorities.
"I've seen him perched atop that mountain and he could fly at any second", said a cop.

written by Jesus Budda, 28 May 2010
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Local Woman Has Hairy Pussy

Local woman Linda Lovelace has a very hairy Persian kitten.
She also admitted that she doesn't shave her own pubes.

written by Jesus Budda, 28 May 2010
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Local Woman Has Dirty Ass

Local woman Mary Cockface has a mud-covered donkey in her back yard.

written by Jesus Budda, 28 May 2010
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Local Man Has Blue Balls

"It is highly unusual. Normally tennis balls are yellow", said Roger Federer.

written by Jesus Budda, 27 May 2010
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Local Boy Has Odd-Shaped Balls

"One is a football, the other is a rugby one", he said.

written by Jesus Budda, 27 May 2010
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Local Invisible Man Quits Dreams of Being Hollywood Star

Cameramen struggled to make him appear in pictures.

written by Jesus Budda, 27 May 2010
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Local Caveman invents Rock and Roll

Local Neanderthal Caveman Ug Jones, 33, has invented a rock that can be used for banging stuff with.
Later in the day he invented the sausage roll. For eating.

written by Jesus Budda, 27 May 2010
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Local Man's Cock Gets Stuck in Doorknob

Local man Barry Nubbins' prize cockerel Percy got his beak caught in the doorknob of the bathroom door.
He had been spying on a naked woman in the shower. The bastard.

written by Jesus Budda, 26 May 2010
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Local Woman Refuses to Touch Husband's Cock

Barry Nubbins' wife says she will not hold his prize cockerel Percy.
She says she is allergic to feathers.

written by Jesus Budda, 26 May 2010
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Local Man's Wife Awoken By Her Husband's Wet Cock

Local man Barry Nubbins' wife was woken up this morning by prize cockerel Percy, who crawled under the sheets after having a shower.

written by Jesus Budda, 26 May 2010
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Local Man Has a Stiff Cock

Local man Barry Nubbin's prize cockerel Percy got covered with cement yesterday.
He is now as stiff as a rock.

written by Jesus Budda, 26 May 2010
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Local Man's Wife Slaps His Cock

Barry Nubbins wife caught his prize cockerel Percy pecking at the furniture.
She gave it a good slap and locked him in the hen house.

written by Jesus Budda, 26 May 2010
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Local Man Doesn't Know How To Use His Cock

He is undecided about using it in the hen house or sticking it on top of the barn for use as a real-life weather vane.

written by Jesus Budda, 26 May 2010
Showing page 2 (of 11 pages)


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