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Wendy Richards, famed misery of Eastenders has entered another race row, when she was caught on TV channeling the spirit of Bernard Manning.
Following his recent defeat in the courts, Dodi Fayed will now set out to prove once and for all how the last Dodo was killed.
Yellow is still yellow
Revelations from the world of fashion have reached us to say that Yellow is not the new black, it is still the old yellow.
Sid Vicious - The Truth
An elderly neighbour of punk rock icon Sid Vicious has said, 'From what I can remember, he was a nice boy, actually'
Peter Pan, the boy who famously never grew up is said to now have a much deeper voice, and to be sporting a somewhat dapper moustache.
Detectives working together with record shops have found the millions of albums sold by Shania Twain, Chris De Burgh, Cliff Richard, Mariah Carey, and Celine Dion in the lost city of Atlantis. Atlantisists were always suspected to have a piss poor taste in music.
Shoe Prices: Update
Following the news that a Centipede in Glamorgan is to complain about the price of shoes to his MP, a Millipede has now poked his nose in saying 'And you think you've got problems?'
In a shock revelation that will turn the world of cliche on its head, a living Door nail has been found in the Outer Hebrides.
A Centipede in Glamorgan has recently complained about the price of shoes to his MP.
U2, of there
Following news that U2 have signed away digital rights for the next 12 years, or something, they have also signed the Gettysberg Address, and the Magna Carta. They are now worthless, Bono said, cackling.
Bottler's new book
Talentless dullard Paul Burrell's new book 'You won't get it for free' is due out tomorrow. Pre-orders are said to be very slow.
A day in the sun
The editors of the Sun, The Express and The Daily Mail today realised that it is now more than 10 years ago, and it is time to let Princess Di rest in peace.
Sales of Gillian McKeith's new book 'Going through the motions' have rocketed in the past week. She is said to be flushed with success.
Barrymore to play Milligan; Grayson - C3PO
Following the news that the comedian Spike Milligan is to be portrayed by Michael Barrymore, we can exclusively reveal that Larry 'Shut that door' Grayson is to play the part of a young C3P0 in a new biopic about the early life of the camp protocol droid.
The Spoof can exclusively reveal that Mr T's name is in fact Herb.
Pigs in Scotland are under Police protection, in preparation for this year's Hogmanay celebrations.
There was confusion in BBC today when it was revealed that Later with Jools Holland is in fact recorded earlier. The Hootenanies that go out on New Year's Eve are in fact recorded on New Year's day, the year before.
In a bid to crack down on Council overspends, councillors for Wimbledon Common are to sack the lovable beasties known as Wombles, from their rubbish collecting ways.
TV Gardener Charlie Dimmock is to retire from Television, claiming that keeping up with Alan Titchmarsh is proving too much for her.
Woodworm Christmas Banquet
Chefs at Woodworms R Us have this week recommended Doors as a tasty treat, following last weeks serving suggestions of table and chairs.
A tory Politician has admitted he does not have all of the answers. He is not a quiz master...Loud hoots of laughter were heard from the back bench...
No Lady in Red, please
Middle of the Road philanthropist Chris De Burgh is to play a gig in Iran. A spokesman for the troubled country said: 'Have we not suffered enough?'
In an empty room, nothing happened, but how do we know? That is the conundrum that you have to answer for yourself, reader.
Cat Hair jackets are the new trend, for Cats, said a spokeman for Cat Hair Magazine.
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