Showing snippets written by Cal Jennings.
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Corrupt Bastards Club Intervenes in Cattle Pollution
CCN - Lord Browne, the BP member of the Corrupt Bastards Club, was sent to reduce the amount of methane produced by cattle.
George Bush Called Best President EVER!
CCN - According to a writer in India, George Bush will be remembered as the best president EVER! Of course, India hasn't been affected much by Bush.
Captain Marvel Dies. Superhero Spoof Writer Mourns.
CCN - Cal-el, who some know as TheSpoof.com writer Cal Jennings, mourns the death of Captain Marvel.
Hugh G. Wadmore III Writes The Spoof
CCN - Hugh G. Wadmore III wrote TheSpoof.com a letter which has been posted in the Satire section. He has no iDEa why the "little people" are complaining.
Spoof Writer's Insurance Cancelled by BP
CCN - Cal Jennings, a writer at TheSpoof.com, had his insurance revoked back to April for writing about the Corrupt Bastards Club members at BP and for making DVD videos for the Ron Paul campaign before the Iowa Straw Poll.
Nuclear Workers Denied Compensation
CCN - The Bush administration Corrupt Bastards denied workers their compensation, enforcing long processes through which they must go in hopes that they will die before they can receive benefits.
Billy Bob Invades TheSpoof.com
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Dublin - Billy Bob has posted his videos in the satire section of TheSpoof.com, attacking almost everything the writers stand for!
Gay Whales spotted at Golden Gate Bridge
San Francisco - Two gay whales were spotted swimming toward the Golden Gate Bridge. They were reportedly there after hearing about the Freakers Ball when gay S&M VECO/BP supertanker captain was listening to his Dr. Hook CD. They were disappointed that it isn't until October.
President Bush Laughed At During Coast Guard Academy Speech
CCN - President Bush gave a speech to the United States Coast Guard Academy where he was almost laughed off the stage before he could talk about the War in Iraq being essential to America.
Wiccans turn Cal Jennings into Lizard
CCN - TheSpoof.com writer Cal Jennings was turned into a lizard by Wiccans today. "Those damn pagan idol worshipers will get theirs when Jerry Falwell makes his second coming," said Cal Jennings.
Ron Paul Kicked Out of Republican Party
CCN - Ron Paul was kicked out of the Republican Party today for being too Republican. The New Nazi Republicans were delighted at his removal since Paul was ahead of all of them in the polls.
Bush Ok's Blair to Allow Blue at Wedding
CCN - Today, George Bush said that it was alright for Blair to wear a little blue at their wedding if he wanted. Blair had feared that wearing blue at the wedding would upset the Red State leader. All guests are relieved that blue is no longer banned.
Bush Declares the Earth Fat
CCN - Upon finding that the Earth weighs around 6,588,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons, President Bush declared that the Earth is too fat and suggested that it go on a diet.
CIA Official Admits 9/11 a Hoax
CCN - Former Assistant Defense Secretary Richard Perle has testified that 9/11 is a hoax. He said that Tenet is trying to shift the blame for 9/11. White House are scrambling to figure out how Bush is going to get out of this one.
Bush to Wear White Tie
CCN - President Bush has agreed to wear a white tie to meet Queen Elizabeth II after being cut off by Laura.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Makes Bid for President
CCN - Washington, D.C. - Showing that he is the only Republican with any common sense, Arnold Schwarzenegger put in his bid for president.
God Angry With Alaska
God, tired of idol worship and every inconceivable act of evil, has frowned on Alaska.
Gnarly Erik and CalJennings Have a Showdown
CCN - Today, Gnarly Erik and CalJennings met halfway between Texas and Alaska to have a showdown. Gnarly, donning his snowshoes, and Cal, in a cowboy hat, prepared for the battle with such vicious weapons as sarcasm, and the soft cushion, as used in the Spanish Inquisition.
Britney Spears Itchy and Red in 'Spots'
CCN - Britney Spears has apparently been moaning and complaining about shaving herself bald because she has developed ugly, itchy, red patches. Britney has declared she will never shave again! She said, "I can't stand the itching and scratching. My head itches too."
Bush's Rubber Duck Refuses to Attend Wedding
CCN - Bush was upset when he learned that his Rubber Duck, or Ducky as Bush puts it, has declined the invitation to his wedding to Tony Blair.
President Bush gets Wedding Jitters
CCN - Washingon, D.C. - President Bush was visibly showing signs of wedding jitters as the details of his wedding to Prime Minister Tony Blair move forward.
Sir Elton John and Sir Paul McCartney to Play at Blair/Bush Wedding
CCN - London - Sir Elton John and Sir Paul McCartney are scheduled to play at the Blair/Bush wedding. Blair was delighted at the news.
Bush Has Historians Jailed, Appoints Gonzales History Czar
President Bush, proclaiming that history will be kind to him, has historians jailed. Alberto Gonzales has been appointed the first History Czar.
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