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Spanish viewers vote Manuel from Fawlty Towers all time funniest T.V. character

Although first sppearing more than thirty years ago, Manuel (the waiter from Barcelona) is still regarded by Spanish T. V. Viewers as the most accurate portrayal of a Spaniard in history.

written by Auntie Jean, 17 January 2014
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Australian P.M. calls for Sting Rays to be called Big Flat Poisonous Fish

The misleading name Sting Ray is to be altered to stop Australian popular T.V. presenters from hugging them. The new name of Big Flat Poisonous Fish should help presenters to treat them with caution.

written by Auntie Jean, 17 January 2014
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Bernie Ecclestone steps down from F.1 board and wears built up shoes instead

Bernie Ecclestone has again stepped down from the board provided for him to see over the table top at F.1 claiming he is taller than 4 ft. 1 and high heels will enable him to see over the table.

written by Auntie Jean, 16 January 2014
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Millions deprived of Chinese Food due to forgetting about Chinese New Year

Statistics from Bejing Ministry for Chinese Food Carry Outs show that people who are supposed to bring Chinese food back from a night out with the fellas are forgetting about the Chinese New Year!

written by Auntie Jean, 16 January 2014
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Welsh "Blarney Stones" unveiled

In an effort to attain the popularity of Ireland as a tourist destination, the Prince of Wales has unveiled a set of "Jones Stones" which can be kissed to improve bullshitting skills.

written by Auntie Jean, 14 January 2014
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Australia twinned with Glasgow due to cultural similarities

Australia, a relatively unknown country north of New Zealand has been twinned with the City of Glasgow. Alexei Salmon said yesterday that he would be appealing, as "Glaswegians are quite posh now."

written by Auntie Jean, 13 January 2014
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New Royal baby's first word is in Welsh

Unaccountably, new Royal baby George Alexander Louis has spoken his first word in Welsh, "gwrthddatgysylltiadaeth", the Welsh Gaelic for Daddy !!!!

written by Auntie Jean, 12 January 2014
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Depressed peat bog found in Wales

Wales, home to peat mires, raised peat bogs, level peat bogs and raised peat mires has hit the jackpot with the discovery of a depressed peat bog at Y Borth, near Aberystwith.

written by Auntie Jean, 11 January 2014
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Raised peat mire at Y Borth officially eighth "Wonder of the World"

A piece of swamp on a stone in the glittering Welsh tourist magnet of Y Borth has now been nominated by World Heritage as a very nice raised peat bog, putting Y Borth level with Las Vegas in tourism.

written by Auntie Jean, 09 January 2014
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Daily Mail sales appear to fall with increasing use of soft toilet paper

A major selling point of the daily Mail may have been wiped. Forget squares of the "News" paper in public Portaloos, soft toilet rolls have now replaced our favourite wipe.

written by Auntie Jean, 09 January 2014
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Wales's top attractions 2013

1) Raised peat mire near Borth.
2) Dylan Thomas's toilet
3) Rain
4) Tatacre Beach
5) Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch village
6) Slates on sides of houses.

written by Auntie Jean, 04 January 2014
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Ipod rice trick works due to Chinese "rice fairies"

The "Putting a broken iPod in a bag with some rice" repair works due to "magic rice fairies", Stephen Hawking said yesterday. "It's not due to hungry Chinese assembly line workers fixing it."

written by Auntie Jean, 04 January 2014
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Scottish square sausages are "the right shape" according to Salmond

Alexei Salmonds, says square Scottish sausage slices will be the only sausages allowed in the EU when he regains the Throne. They will have to be made in Scotland, but within the U.S.K after 2016.

written by Auntie Jean, 03 January 2014
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Daily Maille so fond of Royal Scroungers it decides to give them handouts

The Daily Maille loves the helicopter using money squandering Royal parasites so much that it has put them on its payroll to the relief of the public who have to pay for them by working for a living.

written by Auntie Jean, 01 January 2014
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Linda Blaire re-possessed

After the release of The Exorcist, the movie studio lost money. Demons re-possessed Linda Blaire until debts were paid off. She was later re-exorcised by Anthony Hopkirk in a sequel.

written by Auntie Jean, 01 January 2014
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Snakes on a Plane 3 movie is about Snakes on a Plane

The Movie, "Snakes on a Plane 3" is once again about Snakes on a Plane. The studio said this morning, "We have stuck to the "Snakes on a Plane" format this time and missed out Snakes on a Plane 2."

written by Auntie Jean, 31 December 2013
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Big Ass Spider movie is about a big ass spider

New movie "Big Ass Spider" is a cunning ploy to fool audiences that the movie is about a big ass spider, Big Ass Studios announced this morning. "In reality the movie is about a medium ass spider."

written by Auntie Jean, 31 December 2013
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Most popular New Year's resolution is:

800 X 600 !

written by Auntie Jean, 31 December 2013
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Binge drinking "caused by Daily Mail?"

Do you find yourself drinking very heavily on an evening after reading the Daily Mail? It seems repetitive references to Labour Governments causing binge drinking allegedly cause binge drinking!

written by Auntie Jean, 31 December 2013
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Cathedral, Synagogue and Mosque building Space Rovers in position

Sinners beware! Armies of Mosque, Cathedral and Synagogue building drones have completed buildings all over Mars, the Moon and Jupiter to foil attempts to establish permissive and free behaviour.

written by Auntie Jean, 29 December 2013
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Raving nutters threatened with extinction

A record low number of City centre yelling lunatics is thought to be due to an increase in abductions by "Close Encounters" type spacecraft.

written by Auntie Jean, 27 December 2013
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Spain tries to re-brand sherry, 20 years too late

Remember Sherry? Not the Four Seasons song, but a kind of wine? Don't worry, no one else does. Once the major Spanish export, it's now as fashionable as powdered eggs. How the mighty have fallen.

written by Auntie Jean, 26 December 2013
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Matadors start bullfights with meat skewers through shoulders

Did you know that the sadistic Spanish "sport" of bullfighting is not as disgusting as it seems as the bullfighters start off with meat skewers through their arms and neck to make things fair !!!

written by Auntie Jean, 26 December 2013
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Wales has a dry day as it stops raining

Yesterday, for the first time in a really long time it didn't rain in Wales. The phenomenon was due to a unique clash of pressure systems above the English county, said Michel Fish.

written by Auntie Jean, 20 December 2013
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