Showing snippets written by Al N..

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Showing page 2 (of 23 pages)

Vice-President Pence Leaves Colts vs. 49ers Game During Protests

He thought they were bowing to him, and when he found out they weren't, he got embarrassed and left.

written by Al N., 10 October 2017

U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson Denies Calling Trump a "Moron"

"What I actually said was that he was a FUCKING moron!" said Tillerson.

written by Al N., 07 October 2017

Trump Will Have Every Puerto Rican's Paychecks Garnished Until Hurricane Maria Damage is Paid Off

...Even though the Federal Government hasn't actually done anything yet...

written by Al N., 06 October 2017

Trump to Return to Puerto Rico to Throw More Rolls of Paper Towels to the Crowd

"The towels did so well to help the suffering of Puerto Rico last time that we've brought more.

written by Al N., 05 October 2017

Instead of Kneeling to Protest Racism, Sport Figures Will Now Protest Trump Instead

They will do so by pulling things out of their asses during the National Anthem.

written by Al N., 28 September 2017

Trump Defects to Russia

Putin has him immediately thrown into the gulag.

written by Al N., 26 September 2017

NBC Offers to Renew 'The Apprentice' If Trump Will Resign As President

This was in response to a petition signed by practically everybody in the U.S. and most of Canada.

written by Al N., 24 September 2017

Trump Will Reply to Kim Jong Un As Soon As He Looks Up All the Words

...especially "dotard."

written by Al N., 23 September 2017

Elton John Demands Royalty from Trump Over Using the Term Rocket Man

Kim Jong Un said he would rather be Capt. Fantastic, Levon, or even Honky Cat more than Rocket Man.

written by Al N., 22 September 2017

White House Declares War on ESPN

Rumors are rife that Trump is planning a drone attack on ESPN headquarters due to anti-Trump tweets.

written by Al N., 15 September 2017

Trump Says He Has Evidence Obama Caused Hurricane Harvey

And he's pretty sure that the Congressmen who didn't vote for his health care bill caused Irma.

written by Al N., 09 September 2017

Trump Fires Secret Servicemen for Not Protecting Him from Press

"I have been ambushed by the press for the last time! I need some real protection!" tweeted Trump.

written by Al N., 08 September 2017

Trump Pardons Hitler

"He was just a misunderstood guy trying to help his country! I know how that goes" said Trump.

written by Al N., 07 September 2017

Tom Cruise to Progress to New Upper Level as He Audits His Body Thetan's Body Thetans

He has to put the BT's BTs through drug rehab, get them all GEDs, & audit THEIR Body Thetans.

written by Al N., 06 September 2017

Woman Eats Food Past its Due Date and Expires

A Westinghouse refrigerator was taken into custody.

written by Al N., 04 September 2017

Trump Blames Obama For Any and All Mistakes He Might Make

"Obama should have ordered a psychiatric profile on me when he had the chance!" said Trump.

written by Al N., 03 September 2017

Trump to Order all Non-White Supremacists to Wear White Armband with Peace Sign On It

Republicans refused to comment on the order.

written by Al N., 29 August 2017

Satan to Allow Cosby Reruns in Hell

The Cosby reruns will join the Stu Erwin Show, Manimal, and My Mother the Car in perpetual reruns.

written by Al N., 28 August 2017

Bill Cosby Now Has Higher Approval Rating than Trump

People also indicated that they liked O.J. Simpson and Charles Manson more than Trump.

written by Al N., 28 August 2017

Trump Suspends Russia Investigation Due to Hurricane Harvey

"Helping the hurricane victims is much more important than any fake news investigation" said Trump.

written by Al N., 27 August 2017

New Yorkers Now Say "Take a Trump" Instead of "Take a Dump"

They also say things like "This place is a Trump!"

written by Al N., 21 August 2017

Tom Cruise's Body Thetans Return and Disable His Leg

"I'm pretty sure once I take the next OT level the body thetans will be gone for good!" said Cruise.

written by Al N., 21 August 2017

Trump Says Obama and Hillary Tricked Donald Trump, Jr. Into Releasing Incriminating E-Mails

"I got disguised, got him drunk, and then hypnotized him to make his e-mails public." said Hillary.

written by Al N., 17 August 2017

Bozo T. Clown Fired as Trump Press Secretary

After only 48 hours as Press Sec., Mr. Clown was fired by Trump for "inappropriate working attire."

written by Al N., 12 August 2017
Showing page 2 (of 23 pages)

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