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Showing snippets written by Al N..


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Tom Cruise's Body Thetans Return and Disable His Leg

"I'm pretty sure once I take the next OT level the body thetans will be gone for good!" said Cruise.

written by Al N., 21 August 2017
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Trump Says Obama and Hillary Tricked Donald Trump, Jr. Into Releasing Incriminating E-Mails

"I got disguised, got him drunk, and then hypnotized him to make his e-mails public." said Hillary.

written by Al N., 17 August 2017
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Bozo T. Clown Fired as Trump Press Secretary

After only 48 hours as Press Sec., Mr. Clown was fired by Trump for "inappropriate working attire."

written by Al N., 12 August 2017
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Queen Decides She Will Skip Over Prince William and Make Prince George the Next King

"I figured, if we are going to go for a younger king, let's go all the way!" said the Queen.

written by Al N., 10 August 2017
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Guam Preemptively Surrenders To North Korea in Response to Nuclear Threats

"Would you trust someone like Trump whose never heard of you to defend you?" asked the head of Guam.

written by Al N., 10 August 2017
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Trump Calls Palace of Versailles "A Real Dump"

"I just like to be at home in my NY penthouse or at my own golf course, courtesy of the taxpayers!"

written by Al N., 07 August 2017
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President Trump Locks Eric Trump in the Tower of Trump Tower

"Eric broke and admitted to the press that he helped fund my campaign with charity money. Too weak!"

written by Al N., 05 August 2017
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Putin and Trump Might Be Breaking Up

It always comes down to the 'S' word-SANCTIONS! Will Kim Jong-Un mediate the fight?

written by Al N., 28 July 2017
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Trump Breaks His Promise To LGBT Community When He Finds Out What the Initials Stand For

"Transgender? I didn't know that was in there! We can't have that in the military!" said Trump.

written by Al N., 27 July 2017
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Elton John Foils Princess Di Body Exhumation and Theft

Sir Elton John stopped Diana's grave-robbers by singing "England's Rose" over and over.

written by Al N., 26 July 2017
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Trump Sends Secret Service to Walter Reed Hospital to Find the Gang of Green

"I just saw somewhere that someone there died because of gang of green. We're on it!" said Trump.

written by Al N., 23 July 2017
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Melania Trump Gets Lost on Her Way to the White House and Ends Up in Paris

But she did locate a new wardrobe, which will make being First Lady so much easier!

written by Al N., 22 July 2017
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Trump Tweets that He's Afraid Obama or Crooked Hillary Will Screw up the Eclipse

Trump promised that he would make sure the eclipse happens.

written by Al N., 22 July 2017
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Morning Joe and Mika Disappear

"They probably just had plastic surgery and now no one can recognize them," said Trump.

written by Al N., 07 July 2017
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One of Trump's Childhood Babysitters Will Be Head of the Department of Homeland Security

"I always felt safe whenever she was the babysitter" spoke Trump.

written by Al N., 29 June 2017
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Trump Accidentally Tweets Into the 6th Dimension

After they had an argument with Trump, we are now caught up in an inter-dimensional war with them!

written by Al N., 28 June 2017
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Trump Tweets That Global Warming is Hillary and Obama's Fault

"Once we recognize the REAL culprits behind global warming the sooner we can move on" tweeted Trump.

written by Al N., 26 June 2017
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Trump Visits Great Wall of China, Suggests They Install Solar Panels

"The Mexicans want us to put my Trumpco Solar Panels on their wall" claimed Trump.

written by Al N., 26 June 2017
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Trump Bans Guns for Democrats

"Democrats will want to use guns once they see the programs we have planned," admitted Trump.

written by Al N., 24 June 2017
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Trump to Ban Periodic Table of Elements

"Everyone wants to have an element named Trumpium, and until there is, the table is tabled!" -Trump

written by Al N., 24 June 2017
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Trump Bans Ghettos

"I think all the poverty, the crime and drug dealing is in the ghetto so we are banning ghettos."

written by Al N., 24 June 2017
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Trump Says He Will Re-Join the Paris Climate Control Agreement on One Condition

"When it is renamed the Trump Climate Control Agreement, the U.S. will join again," said Trump.

written by Al N., 12 June 2017
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Science Doesn't Have Enough Experience to Predict Global Warming Says Trump

"Superstition has been around much longer and has been doing a great job for centuries" said Trump."

written by Al N., 09 June 2017
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Eric Trump Says Democrats Are "Not Real People"

"If they were real people, they would know, stealing from children's cancer charities is expected!"

written by Al N., 09 June 2017
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