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Showing page 2 (of 11 pages)

Sid the Sexist returns his free Current Bun

Lovable Geordie rascal Sid the Sexist has returned the 'Free Sun'. "It were nowt any good like." he said, continuing "It didny have any tits in it. No tits no way." he continued.

written by John_L, 13 June 2014

Celtic appoint Delia as new manager

The former Norwich chair and TV cook will have a 12 rolling contract at Celtic Park. She joins Clermont manager Helena Costa in being a female manager of a male team. Costa was an assistant at Celtic.

written by John_L, 06 June 2014

Susanna Reid to join David Moyes' club

The 'Good Morning Britain' presenter is set to join the former Manchester United manager in the club for fallen chosen ones, after ITV confirmed that 'GMB' was to be axed after the World Cup.

written by John_L, 02 June 2014

David Moyes sounded out about Lib Dem job.

While Nick Clegg maintains that he won't resign there are rumors that some senior Lib Dems have been sounding out former Man U manager as a replacement.

written by John_L, 26 May 2014

Nigel Farage sends Google a Forget Me Request

The UKIP leader hopes that if the search engine stops pointing to all the racists things he's said in the past he might just be able to fool some more people into voting for him.

written by John_L, 17 May 2014

Martin and Forsyth in Scotland squad

Coldplay singer and uncoupled husband of Gwyneth Paltrow has been named in Gordon Strachan's Scotland side to face Nigeria on the 28th May alongside 86 year old entertainer Sir Bruce Forsyth.

written by John_L, 12 May 2014

Agoraphobia sufferer beats fear after 48 years.

Unfortunately on her first trip out Nigel Farage canvasing in the street, suffered a sever relaps and is now locked in the coal cellar.

written by John_L, 01 May 2014

Britain is now "Post Christian"

Former Archbishop Rowan Williams said "Britain is not a Christian country anymore, in fact I would classify it as a country that worships whatever Ruper Murdoch tells it to."

written by John_L, 27 April 2014

Salmond thanks Farage

The SNP leader said "The frankly embarrassing set of posters from UKIP for the EU election have been a huge boost to the Yes campaign up here, Scots don't want to be associated with people like that."

written by John_L, 22 April 2014

Brendan Rodgers plans to 'unleash' fans on Man City

"It'll be just like the 80's" He said at the press conference "hundreds of copites with bats and knives looking to inflict damage on anyone who gets in their way."

written by John_L, 11 April 2014

Chicken nuggets sold at Sam's Club recalled

The nuggets were found to contain no meat, but were made up of sawdust swept off the abattoir floor after the high pressure hose used to reclaim the last scraps of 'meat' from the carcass failed.

written by John_L, 07 April 2014

Letterman and Forsyth in job swap

David Letterman is to stand down from 'The Late Show', cross the atlantic to take over hosting duties on 'Strictly Come Dancing' from Sir Bruce Forsyth who in turn will replace Letterman in New York

written by John_L, 04 April 2014

Sherwood 'Planning for Next Season'

He already has his lawn sorted so it's just the bedding plants he needs to work out.

written by John_L, 20 March 2014

Irish to rename St. Patrick's Day.

From now the 17th March will be a celebration known as St. BO'D's day in honor of Brian O'Driscoll.

written by John_L, 17 March 2014

Coldplay debut new track 'Midnight'

It comes from their new album 'Paint Drying' that they promise is as bland as the title suggests and won't upset anyone.

written by John_L, 26 February 2014

Pickles to visit Somerset Levels.

The Communities Secretary Eric Pickles is to visit the flood devastated Somerset Levels. He will be used as a flotation aid and it is the first time in his career he has been of use to anyone.

written by John_L, 11 February 2014

Burglars heading south for the spring

Hundreds of house breakers from major UK cities are heading south and hiring boats. "A bunch of villages full of posh people who have been evacuated perfect for us" said spokesman Edwardian Fred.

written by John_L, 07 February 2014

Vicar apologizes to Gay community over misheard message from God.

A Vicar in Devon has said he misheard when God told him the floods were punishment for Gay Policies. In fact God told him the floods were punishment for Gove's Policies.

written by John_L, 06 February 2014

NBC set date for Leno's return to 'The Tonight Show'

The Chin is expected to regain the show for the third time on August 12th. Until he does so he will be telling everyone who will listen that he was 'Pushed Out' for being a Republican.

written by John_L, 27 January 2014

Nazi stag MP Aidan Burley 'caused deep offence'

In a note from his office Lord Rennard said he was upset at not being invited as it is exactly the sort of event he enjoys.

written by John_L, 22 January 2014

C4 hit with plagiarism charge over 'Benefits Street'

The estate of Joseph Goebbels have charged that controversial program bares a remarkable similarity to a film made by Goebbels in 1933 just after he was appointed Minister for enlightenment by Hitler.

written by John_L, 08 January 2014

LeBron James left skid marks on the court after falling down during Heat loss to Warriors

He has been told to eat a better more binding diet over the next few weeks.

written by John_L, 03 January 2014

Rise in patients after London New Year celebrations

An NHS spokesman put blame for the increase on the 'Daily Mail' as many of the extra patients were Mail readers who had attempted suicide out of fear of Romanians appearing at midnight in their homes.

written by John_L, 01 January 2014

Hound wins Strictly Come Dancing Christmas show

This adds to Pudsey's 'Britons got Talent' victory and is the perfect publicity for his upcoming film.

written by John_L, 27 December 2013
Showing page 2 (of 11 pages)

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