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Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers calls for strong finish to season
He doesn't a good enough severance package in place for them not to.
Red Arrows safe as long as Cameron is PM Downing Street say
Jobsite report that 12 highly qualified pilots giving their address as RAF Scampton signed up soon after this announcement.
Police seize 300 cannabis plants in raid
"The raid was like cool man, and it was so groovy to get it all. Now I need to get some doritos man." A spokesman said.
RAF accepts Khasi bombing role
We need to get rid of the last public toilets.
Morrisons buys 49 Blockbuster stores
They will use the stores to start a new meat rental chain for journalists wanting to test for horse DNA on the cheap.
Oscar Pistorius charged with murder
Prosecutors say that he doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Liverpool fans fear Racist abuse at Zenit St Petersburg
However Brendon Rodgers said in his press conference that he has spoken to Luis Suarez and he has promised to behave himself.
South African news say Pistorius may have been drunk at time of shooting
This after reports filed with the court by police state the athletes condition was described as "Legless"
Ted Neugent to attend 'State of the Union' Address
The veteran NRA member and Klansman will be strip searched before being allowed into the same room as President Obama wearing just a robe.
'The Sun' to drop Page 3
To stop readers missing the feature the last Page Three will feature former Tory MP Ann Widiscum. "Ann topless will turn even the most randy man off topless pics" Rupert Murdoch commented.
Government launch new charter for teaching cookery at schools.
There will be an enfaces of cooking cheep meats like Horse, Dog, Cat and Rat as part of coalition plans to further lower the health and standard of living for the majority.
Aldi regret new advert soundtrack
The German budget supermarket seem to have scored an own goal as its new adverts feature the song 'My Lovely Horse' from an old 'Father Ted' episode.
Fox attacked baby boy in own home
Findus are to start offering Fox Meat products to protect the public.
England's Queen steps down.
Following the birth of his second son Sir Elton John it to hand over the title of England's Queen to Irish born TV host Graham Norton.
China plans to top Iran feat.
Beijing have announced plans to launch a giant Panda into space. The move is thought to be an attempt at oneupmanship against Iran who recently launched a shaved monkey into space.
Brooklyn Beckham set to join Chelsea
The 14 year old son of David and Victoria will take over from Rafael BenÃtez at the end of the season.
Southanpton Boss Nigel Adkins sacked
He is now favorite to be the next Blackpool boss then the following week replace Benetez at Chelsea.
Cameron sued by DC Comics
DC comics are to sue the Prime Minister over what they perceive as an unauthorized impersonation of their character two face. This after viewing his recent comments on Europe.
BBC Fume at Bowie
The BBC are livid that David Bowie has chosen to come out of retirement on the same day that Dot Cotton is due to return to Albert Sq. "Bowie will steal all the headlines" The DG bemoaned to the Metro
Thatcher to speak at Party HQ
Lady Thatcher is to speak in public at a dinner tonight. She will congratulate David Cameron on his distraction of the NHS and wish him well in the coming pointless war with Argentina.
Lord Strathclyde leaves cabinet
He already has his snout and two front trotters in the trough at a multinational bank.
The Hobbit chased off by Chainsaw
Relations between F1 Supremo Bernie Ecclestone and Luca di Montezemolo reached an all time low when the 82 year old was chased from Maranello by the Ferrari boss who was wielding a chainsaw.
Messi claims fourth Ballon d'Or
Ronaldo is said be "very sad" to miss out although his expected huge pay day from LA Galaxy will cheer him up.
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