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US Government Partial Shutdown
So more a Government Log-Off then
"Who is the 'white widow' Samantha Lewthwaite?" (BBC)
Er, she's known as the 'white widow' and her name is Samantha Lewthwaite?
Dull people trying to be exciting, bad jokes, forced laughter, insincerity and entirely baseless promises.
Not just seasonal then.
Tony Blair's Barrister Daughter Held up at Gunpoint
Frightening stuff - yet another Blair part of the Criminal Justice System
Caught in a Trap...attoni
Ireland fail to qualify for world cup and willingly encourage him to walk on out
"Roy Hodgson Defends England"
EDL welcome a new, surprise member
Sky Sports' Breaking News! :
11:40 pm : Gareth Bale refused sex from wife, rolls over, resigned to sleep
2am : Gareth Bale awakes needing a piss
Keep it here folks!
Sky Sports' Breaking News! :
30 July. 9am :"Gareth Bale arrives at training ground"
11:30am: Gareth Bale leaves training ground
9pm: Gareth Bale brushing his teeth
Sunderland AFC Scouting System Changed
Paolo Di Canio's new club have narrowed their scouting search down to only players with blonde hair and blue eyes.
Sunderland Aryan Football Club
Media brand Di Canio a Fascist
What's the big deal? So the guy likes his fashion
David Miliband to leave UK Politics
The Blairite is set for the US where he will lead a charity that offers advice and counselling to people all over the world who have been shafted by their siblings
Conclave Concludes Considering
Pontificating Pontiffs pick a new Papal Premier to preside over Papal pish as Pope.
South Africa Honing in on 'New USA' tag
After getting their own version of the OJ Simpson case with Oscar Pistorious, South Africa now has its very own Rodney King incident after police brutality is recorded and seen all over the world.
Italian Political Party led by Comedian Wins Power
Contaminated Meat Scandal Continues
Traces of cabinet drawers found in IKEA meatballs
Further Pistorious Details Emerge
According to reports Oscar Pistorious wanted a hook on the bathroom door, but his girlfriend was dead against it
Britain's Highest serving Catholic stands down
Keith O'Brien has committed a Cardinal sin.
Catholics to take out middle pages of tabloid newspaper advertising vacancies.
Traces of Cameron found in Brooks
What is believed to be the body of Rebeckah Broooks has been found washed up on the Thames, with extracts of the Prime Minister's semen discovered.
A day to commemorate the beauty of Valium, and hot on the heels of Hash Wednesday. And not long before e's ter
Roses are red, violets are blue
Daffodils are yellow and lilys are white. Just saying
High Speed Rail Network Announced
With a full two decades before implementation however, it will take ages to get here.
First Group have already secured the west coast high speed route. For a fiver.
Cameron promises In/Out Referendum on EU Membership
To be followed by a Shake it all About Referendum on Hokey Pokey Membership. The Prime Minister remarked, as he was turning around incidentally, "That's what it's all about."
Oprah: "He came clean but not in the manner I expected"
Reportedly Armstrong admitted all whilst doing a handstand
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