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Media brand Di Canio a Fascist
What's the big deal? So the guy likes his fashion
David Miliband to leave UK Politics
The Blairite is set for the US where he will lead a charity that offers advice and counselling to people all over the world who have been shafted by their siblings
Conclave Concludes Considering
Pontificating Pontiffs pick a new Papal Premier to preside over Papal pish as Pope.
South Africa Honing in on 'New USA' tag
After getting their own version of the OJ Simpson case with Oscar Pistorious, South Africa now has its very own Rodney King incident after police brutality is recorded and seen all over the world.
Italian Political Party led by Comedian Wins Power
Contaminated Meat Scandal Continues
Traces of cabinet drawers found in IKEA meatballs
Further Pistorious Details Emerge
According to reports Oscar Pistorious wanted a hook on the bathroom door, but his girlfriend was dead against it
Britain's Highest serving Catholic stands down
Keith O'Brien has committed a Cardinal sin.
Catholics to take out middle pages of tabloid newspaper advertising vacancies.
Traces of Cameron found in Brooks
What is believed to be the body of Rebeckah Broooks has been found washed up on the Thames, with extracts of the Prime Minister's semen discovered.
A day to commemorate the beauty of Valium, and hot on the heels of Hash Wednesday. And not long before e's ter
Roses are red, violets are blue
Daffodils are yellow and lilys are white. Just saying
High Speed Rail Network Announced
With a full two decades before implementation however, it will take ages to get here.
First Group have already secured the west coast high speed route. For a fiver.
Cameron promises In/Out Referendum on EU Membership
To be followed by a Shake it all About Referendum on Hokey Pokey Membership. The Prime Minister remarked, as he was turning around incidentally, "That's what it's all about."
Oprah: "He came clean but not in the manner I expected"
Reportedly Armstrong admitted all whilst doing a handstand
Autumn Statement - brrr!
Political Prisoner Skype Gig!
Imprisoned Russian band Pussy Riot are to play songs via video link to a bored, decaying Julian Assange in London's Ecuadorian Embassy
Europe Win (shaun) Ryder Cup!!
America's Davis Love the third, Keegan Bradley, Tiger Eldrich Woods, Webb Simpson and Bubba Watson also lose the orthodox name contest
Avril Lavigne to Marry an Aardvark
The Sk8er boy singer is said to be thrilled with her engagement to the aardvark, who is famous for being the subject of the joke, "why the long face?" "because i'm in Nickelback"
A Week of Ass
Followed by 'ange' or 'ad', Ass has dominated the Weeks news
NASA's Mars Vehicle Collides with Animal on Take-off
According to reports, Curiosity killed a cat
Wrong Korean Flag Shown
As South Korean flag is incorrectly shown for North Koreans 2012 bow, there's relief that it wasn't a potentially dangerous or nuclearly capable nation state that it affected
Bradley Wiggins First Mod Sporting Hero
The mod cyclist may have set the precedent for the first hippy boxer or goth tennis player
Chelsea close to signing Hulk, while Man Utd expect Superman to fly in for talks. Arsenal target Spider-Man is sticking around in London for negotiations and signal in sky alerts Man City to Batman
Concern for Language as Texting Beats Talking
Critics say txt spk is butchering the eng lang with abb'd wrds fr no reason
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